Cracking the same joke/comment every time

[Mr_Simnock]

At the moment the team I work with doesn't have anyone like this in it but working from home just guaranteed I won't get it any more for the foreseeable future. I have found the more mindless the work the more mindless the staff it can attract. Factory work, some decent folk but always has about 10% complete fucking morons who minds stopped when they were about 12-13. Office work, finance can have some quite mindless people trapped in a teenager mindset, once you get to somewhere the work is a bit technical it tends to almost never happen.

[Kankurette]

I've never worked in a factory but have worked in several offices, and yes, they do attract people who've never left high school. I got so sick of the endless office politics and gossip about people I neither knew nor cared about.

[chveik]

things your dad is doing

[bgmnts]

I've worked in factories (well, admin on the factory floor) and mostly people just sort of kept to themselves and got on with it. No time to be a dov when you're doing hard graft. Offices on the other hand is a pure dead zone.

[Kankurette]

It also shows an incredible lack of imagination, making these endless dull unfunny comments, especially when it's over something completely innocuous.

[rack and peanut]

This sort of thing genuinely feels like an attempt to police office behaviour so everyone does the exact same thing every day. If you can't vary your schedule or get a haircut or wear something different without getting the same joke 100 times, you just have to conform and never change. (Well not usually "shit the bed" but close to that.)

Or even the same haircut; "Got your ears lowered?"

[Elderly Sumo Prophecy]

The football team I support played Accrington Stanley on Saturday.

Accrington Stanley? Who are they?

[holyzombiejesus]

Well, yeah. As said by every single person that I mentioned them to. Imagine supporting them and the tedium of people saying that in a comedy scouse accent every time you told them who you followed.

[Elderly Sumo Prophecy]

To be fair though, you have to be over 35 to even get the reference. Anyone under that would just stare blankly at you.

[paruses]

Well, yeah. As said by every single person that I mentioned them to. Imagine supporting them and the tedium of people saying that in a comedy scouse accent every time you told them who you followed.

_^Exactly

Absolutely impossible to resist. I feel terrible.

[JamesTC]

To be fair though, you have to be over 35 to even get the reference. Anyone under that would just stare blankly at you.

I'm under 35 and I know of it. Maybe it has been kept alive (in Liverpool at least) via cultural osmosis. Although I still don't understand what is meant by "Exactly!"

[Famous Mortimer]

Although I still don't understand what is meant by "Exactly!"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pieK7b4KLL4

(I apologise if you're joking, I'm very bad at spotting humour)

[JamesTC]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pieK7b4KLL4

(I apologise if you're joking, I'm very bad at spotting humour)

I actually mean I don't understand the use in the advert itself. If he doesn't drink the milk he won't be able to play for a not very well known club.

[Kankurette]

Well, yeah. As said by every single person that I mentioned them to. Imagine supporting them and the tedium of people saying that in a comedy scouse accent every time you told them who you followed.

Personally, I'd be impressed. I don't often meet supporters of Accrington Stanley in the wild and at least you're not a glory hunting twat.

[holyzombiejesus]

Even the commentator mentioned it on Saturday. He actually said "I'm not going to mention the famous advert when the child is told if he drinks milk he will get to play for Accrington Stanley" and then chuckled.

[Emotional Support Peacock]

I actually mean I don't understand the use in the advert itself. If he doesn't drink the milk he won't be able to play for a not very well known club.

Exactly!

[holdover]

A colleague and I used to fill any awkward prolonged silences in the office with "I see Terry Wogan is deid". Not so much a joke as a lie. Until one day it was true.

JK Rowling

[oggyraiding]

When I used to regularly go to a curry house with my grandad, he would always ask for "chicken bhuna, but without much salt". And the waiter, the same bloke every time, would say "chicken bhuna, extra salt, on its way". This exchange has happened literally dozens of times.
Every time I see my dad he does the "bummersaredeaf" thing like in League Of Gentlemen.

[Elderly Sumo Prophecy]

Chicken Bhuna? Who are they?

[Mr Banlon]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pieK7b4KLL4

(I apologise if you're joking, I'm very bad at spotting humour)

Is that Thompson and Venables ?

[Elderly Sumo Prophecy]

Is that Thompson and Venables ?

I've just been made aware via the comments on the video that the lad out of shot (lemonade boy) is black, so no. Unless blacking up was an early tactic in their relocation and new identities.

[Replies From View]

From the age of 14 or thereabouts every adult I met took my neurodiversity as a sign of drug-taking, and they would usually say, after one of my surreal observations:  "eh what's he on!!"  or "eh what's he had; I don't want any!!"


The same two lines of off-the-shelf bantz every single time I attempted anything vaguely humorous that wasn't itself an off-the-shelf joke.  It was absolutely deadening to my soul.

[JaDanketies]

I actually mean I don't understand the use in the advert itself. If he doesn't drink the milk he won't be able to play for a not very well known club.

Yes, the question, "who are they," is responded to by "exactly," i.e. "exactly! You asked 'who are they' so you don't know who they are, therefore they are an unknown club and I don't want to play for an unknown club."

[OpenMikeKnight]

Enjoying this thread. There's loads of this in England and I find these things fascinating. I wonder if it's because we're all traumatised by the need to conform during school. We have the ability to express our feelings as children schooled/parented/bullied out of us, so all we're left with is the same acceptable shit, over and over again, just so we can express and feel something. Kate Fox said in her book 'Watching The English' that because the English can't say how we really feel to each other, we need to do it indirectly with this sort of phatic chat. Plus we use humour for everything, hence these jokes.

I'm surprised 'no pressure' hasn't made an appearance yet. That's been around for years at any vague jeopardy. And 'no shit sherlock'. And 'want a Flake with that' at any overly head-y pint.

There's a phrase 'once is never, twice is always', but the English are a 'once is always' country.

[JamesTC]

Yes, the question, "who are they," is responded to by "exactly," i.e. "exactly! You asked 'who are they' so you don't know who they are, therefore they are an unknown club and I don't want to play for an unknown club."

But Ian Rush says if the kid drinks milk, then he will be able to play for Accrington Stanley. So essentially Ian Rush tells the kid he will be able to play for an unknown club and then responds "exactly" when asked who they are. Unless I have been mishearing it.

[Dusty Substance]

I used to work with some cunt who would always use the "You should get out more"  line if I was to mention some film I'd enjoyed that was beyond his understanding (y'know, a film made before 1990, or in a foreign language or something). Not only is a cunty thing to say but, by his own admission, he never ever went out or did anything ever. The cunt.

[Famous Mortimer]

But Ian Rush says if the kid drinks milk, then he will be able to play for Accrington Stanley. So essentially Ian Rush tells the kid he will be able to play for an unknown club and then responds "exactly" when asked who they are. Unless I have been mishearing it.

The kids are Liverpool fans. They, presumably, want to grow up to play for Liverpool. But if they don't drink their milk, they'll only ever be good enough to play for Accrington Stanley.

[JamesTC]

The kids are Liverpool fans. They, presumably, want to grow up to play for Liverpool. But if they don't drink their milk, they'll only ever be good enough to play for Accrington Stanley.

I understand this, I must be mishearing it then. I thought the kid says that Ian Rush says that if they drink their milk, then they will be able to play for Accrington Stanley. Not that if they do not drink their milk they will play for them.

[Johnny Foreigner]

'Do you want some tea in your milk?' is what people sometimes say to me when I am about to have a cuppa. Which is odd, because evidently, I am doing the pouring and they are therefore not offering me anything. There is just no logic to some people.

[Captain Z]

I understand this, I must be mishearing it then. I thought the kid says that Ian Rush says that if they drink their milk, then they will be able to play for Accrington Stanley. Not that if they do not drink their milk they will play for them.

I was on your side here until I managed to parse the actual phrasing after several listens. The kid's words are "[Ian Rush says] if i didn't drink lots of milk, I'll only ever be good enough to play for Accrington Stanley". But he says it so fast it's difficult to pick it up.