Scorpions kill three people and injure hundreds in Egypt

[Chedney Honks]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-middle-east-59274686

"Using bites and stings, the critters scythed through the southern city of Aswan like a biblical plague."

Fucking hell.

Apparently there was a massive storm and they were washed in from the rivers onto the land and the same for a load of snakes. This sounds like a living nightmare.

I've never been bitten by a scorpion but a massive one went once under my bed in some Berber hut in Algiers and I could hear it clack clacking on the cement floor. I didn't sleep for days. There was no electricity at night so I had to piss in a wash bowl because I wasn't gonna stand on the floor in pitch darkness. Mad thing is I couldn't find it the next day. Total mystery. This horrific story brought the memories flooding back.

[Keebleman]

That Rudolph Schenker always looked a nasty piece of work.

[pancreas]

In situations like this, you just need to stay and fight. Don't you, Shoulders?

[Ferris]

You all laughed when I bought that full suit of steel plate armour and plane ticket to Aswan, but who's laughing now?

[Cold Meat Platter]

Frogs next, then some kind of pox probably. Wouldn't like to be a new-born round that neck of the woods.

[wosl]

Mad thing is I couldn't find it the next day.

Probably someone took it to the latrine to empty and forgot to return it.

[Chedney Honks]

I laughed.

[idunnosomename]

That Rudolph Schenker always looked a nasty piece of work.

the Virgin Killer cover was probably a red flag

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

In situations like this, you just need to stay and fight. Don't you, Shoulders?

Have they abandoned the city altogether or will they be coming home and exterminating the scorpion filth?

[The Mollusk]

Can't you just fucking boot a scorpion? They're really small, can't see what the fuss is about here

[Jumblegraws]

I've never been bitten by a scorpion...

[George White]

The winds of change are blowing in the wrong direction for Egypt.

[flotemysost]

Here I am, da da da da dun
Kill you after a hurricane

I've never been anywhere that's home to venomous scorpions, but even harmless solifugits (something between a scorpion and a spider) that you get in some Mediterranean countries unnerve the shit out of me. They're fascinating creatures though. And like their relatives horseshoe crabs, potentially very useful for medical research, so maybe they'll end up saving lives one day.

[Cerys]

The thing to remember about scorpions is that the bigger their pincers are, the less likely they are to kill you.  Unless they get really pissed off.

[Sonny_Jim]

What pisses off a scorpion?

[Jittlebags]

What pisses off a scorpion?

Dull conversation.

[madhair60]

Scorpwned!

[GMTV]

Live action Mortal Kombat stage show "too realistic" say critics

[Retinend]

I'm ashamed I ever liked them. And I already knew they were nonces after that "Virgin Killer" album cover.

edit: beaten to it

[Artie Fufkin]

What pisses off a scorpion?

Being taken by force

[Buelligan]

The thing to remember about scorpions is that the bigger their pincers are, the less likely they are to kill you.  Unless they get really pissed off.

Is that correct?  I only ask because we have quite a few of those little buggers here but they all have very small pincers.  Maybe you're thinking of lobsters.  I hope so.

[Artie Fufkin]

Is that correct?  I only ask because we have quite a few of those little buggers here but they all have very small pincers.  Maybe you're thinking of lobsters.  I hope so.

Yes. This is definitely true. Well. That's how I remember it, anyhow.

[Buelligan]

Just went and had a wee read.  We have three different ones here but apparently even the dodgiest species - Buthus occitanus - is far less toxic in Europe than the same lads are in Africa.  Weird.

[mothman]

What pisses off a scorpion?

Reminding them of the cover of the "Virgin Killer" album.

[Buelligan]

What pisses off a scorpion?

Even a tiny wibble of a badly-aimed drizzle.  They've got rubbish hands.

[ZoyzaSorris]

Here I am, da da da da dun
Kill you after a hurricane

I've never been anywhere that's home to venomous scorpions, but even harmless solifugits (something between a scorpion and a spider) that you get in some Mediterranean countries unnerve the shit out of me. They're fascinating creatures though. And like their relatives horseshoe crabs, potentially very useful for medical research, so maybe they'll end up saving lives one day.

I've got bad news for you - all scorpions are venomous and not only are they found in all Mediterranean countries but we also have them in the UK too! (As Buelligan has mentioned, European scorpions aren't really dangerous though - and you'd have to go out of your way to find a British one)

[bgmnts]

What pisses off a scorpion?

Women having rights.

[Sonny_Jim]

Nah mate, that's lobsters.  Easiest way to piss off a scorpion is to put rubber bands on his claws and put some scorpy porn on, that way he can't touch his little 'stinger' and he'll get all pissed off like.

[Jittlebags]

Arachnid Wives Magazine.

[petril]

what's worse is that Sub Zero's such an arse about gig fees it's not worth the Egyptian government even asking