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David Attenborough docs are shit for cunts

Started by Twit 2, November 14, 2021, 05:34:49 PM

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Agreed. I have major beef with Attenborough. He takes all the credit when some poor backroom fuckers have been working on their crab documentary for a year, swans in and huffs and puffs over it for 29 minutes and oh here's another OBE, Dave. Plus he was signing the cheques at the BBC when Savile was riding high, so fuck the both of em


Life on Earth was great. But I was nine. What's he done since?


Quote from: shiftwork2 on November 15, 2021, 08:58:05 AM
I watched an old Horizon doc from 1981 the other week about plane crashes and the (at the time) new Crew Resource Management idea.  It was a beautiful thing - complex ideas explained well, and with subtle pacing that allowed the viewer to digest the important bits.  It assumed you'd actively watch it.

Now of course when a fucking marmoset pops its head up there's a cheeky little orchestral sting followed by 30 secs of Harry Potter music before another marmoset pops its head up.

Science documentaries gone.

Even a modern Attenborough doc looks like Kenneth Clarke next to those nature programmes you get voiced by actors. Zaberdak Bandersnatch intoning obvious script over footage of cute animals behaving adorably.


The mother and her cub flee to the safety of the cave. The cub is safe.

For now

An tSaoi

The sound is all dubbed in after.



He does all the rustling noises with his own pubes


Thinks he can get away with 90 odd years of flying round the world shagging any and every living thing going by doing a couple of mournful docs about penguins being burnt alive by climate change. Aye no bother Davie boy.


David Attenborough has spoken to me. When I was about 8 he appeared at an RSPB Roadshow thing in Coventry that I went to with my best friend at the time. He was doing autographs at a designated time so we found the room, saw him at the table and walked straight up to him with our autograph books ready. He smiled politely and said "Actually there's a queue.", so we turned round and there was indeed a queue of about 300 people snaking all the way around the other side of the room, all glaring at these two precocious little shits who'd just swanned up to the front. I genuinely didn't realise but I think my friend might have and was hoping to get by on loveable scamp moxie, but Attenborough was having none of it and we had to go to the back of the queue.
Also got Chris Packham's autograph the same day but there was no timeslot or queue for him, he was just standing around talking to someone and we interrupted him.


Attenborough once had a pet monkey, but has since expressed regret. Best of both worlds, a redemption arc. Wish I got in on the pet-monkey-atonement complex before exotic pets were properly outlawed.