Appalling toys

[Icehaven]

Rock Lords. Whatwerthaddabout?



Seriously though, shithouse transformers, 50% of their incarnation was crap. How were you supposed to play with them when they were rocks, roll them about? Appalling toy.

[kalowski]

[Icehaven]

That looks like it would have been banjaxed by a marble. Good appalling toy.

[Poirots BigGarlickyCorpse]

Poopsie Slime Surprise Unicorn, a unicorn that shits and then you play with the shit.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SsW4npZ0bDk

[Jasha]

Is that the thing you could program to follow a route?

[kalowski]

Is that the thing you could program to follow a route?

Yep. That was the toy. In the last year of primary we were allowed to bring in games. Most people brought in board games, like Totopoly, Connect 4 and Risk but my rich mate Mike brought this in, drove Big Trak around the classroom a few times, and then went off to play Downfall.

[Small Man Big Horse]

The first time I met my step-father, a few months before he was due to marry my mum, he tried to get me to like him by buying me a toy lawn mower. Even as a four year old I can remember thinking "What on earth is the point of this?" as it didn't have any blades, and couldn't cut grass, you could just push it about a bit while it did absolutely fuck all. It sums up my Step-Dad perfectly though I guess, as a man with an extremely limited imagination and one who didn't understand children in the slightest.

[Chedney Honks]

Couldn't afford Transformers as a kid so Rock Lords from the market were one of my fondest toy memories. I protected the gold one from any scuffs like it was a wounded chick in my palm. I wonder whether I could buy the IP for less than a hundred quid nowadays. I might actually do it. Thanks for the memory.

[JamesTC]

The first time I met my step-father, a few months before he was due to marry my mum, he tried to get me to like him by buying me a toy lawn mower. Even as a four year old I can remember thinking "What on earth is the point of this?" as it didn't have any blades, and couldn't cut grass, you could just push it about a bit while it did absolutely fuck all. It sums up my Step-Dad perfectly though I guess, as a man with an extremely limited imagination and one who didn't understand children in the slightest.

For some reason, I am imagining your step-father as Chris Chibnall.

[Mrs Wogans lemon drizzle]

[Cold Meat Platter]

https://learning2share.blogspot.com/2010/02/some-facts-behind-you-can-shave-baby.html

[Blue Jam]

Aquapets. Current design:



Original design:



Nowt wrong with that design at all, can't think why they changed it.

I have the red one fourth from the left ("Kadet", think it's meant to be a little space cadet). Water's gone brown and it makes annoying noises but I bought it because I am a total child.

[Beagle 2]

Rock Lords were skill because baddies would be all like "nothing going on here, just some simple rocks" and then out of nowhere: total fuckdown.

Imagine a world where you can't even trust the rocks.

[imitationleather]

My youth was so deprived that all I ever had to play with was rocks... Of crack!!!

[flotemysost]

I was never into dollies really, so the idea of giving a child their own replica child to look after (even the more standard types) freaks me out a bit. Had zero interest in playing at changing an infant's nappies at a stage of life when my mastery of my own bladder/bowel movements probably left a fair bit to be desired.

[Cold Meat Platter]

Nowt wrong with that design at all, can't think why they changed it.

"Well it's funny, I'd just got out of the shower and was in my dressing gown when I was putting my childrens' toys away and i must have stood on a toy with wheels or something because, well, my legs just went from under me..."

[Replies From View]

The first time I met my step-father, a few months before he was due to marry my mum, he tried to get me to like him by buying me a toy lawn mower. Even as a four year old I can remember thinking "What on earth is the point of this?" as it didn't have any blades, and couldn't cut grass, you could just push it about a bit while it did absolutely fuck all. It sums up my Step-Dad perfectly though I guess, as a man with an extremely limited imagination and one who didn't understand children in the slightest.

He could have at least asked. 


"Do you like blades at all."

[Sebastian Cobb]

My youth was so deprived that all I ever had to play with was rocks... Of crack!!!

If I didn't wake up with a stiffy on Christmas morning I had nothing to play with!

[Wonderful Butternut]

If I didn't wake up with a stiffy on Christmas morning I had nothing to play with!

Shure we used to be happy to play with the coal.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kcAaWc0eLvw&ab_channel=Martin%27sLife

[Video Game Fan 2000]

Impossible to judge the toy lawnmower without knowing if it was the kind that had all the little balls spinning in it when you pushed it.

[Goldentony]

Imagine a world where you can't even trust the rocks.

happened to a mate, awful

[Rizla]

Big Trak was flippin ace you wallies. Make a maze for it, make it go "pew pew", make a different maze for it. Whole afternoon there.

Thread title immediately made me think of this lad -



Mystery bump'n'go action!

[Goldentony]

john you coming round

what you got

make a maze for the car

nah fuck off mate

loads of mazes we could make though, the potential

just said mate, no chance

[Video Game Fan 2000]

Late transformers spin-offs were worse than Go-Bots and Rocklords, imo. At least some of those were fun, they weren't

ACTION MASTERS


or PRETENDERS


really brought home a sense of "you're a child, everyone thinks you're an idiot"

[Beep Cleep Chimney]

How does a shitting flamingo grab you?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qzLGHyp80rU

[Sebastian Cobb]

Big Trak was flippin ace you wallies. Make a maze for it, make it go "pew pew", make a different maze for it. Whole afternoon there.

Thread title immediately made me think of this lad -



Mystery bump'n'go action!

My primary school got a big trak/turtle type thing but instead of being aesthetically cool like the big trak and the turtle it was just a nondescript box with pretty much the same keypad on the back.

In middle school we just had logo running on the archimedes.

I was quite surprised to see pretty much the same thing as a first assignment when I took on a computer science degree.

[Dex Sawash]

machotrouts is looking well

[JesusAndYourBush]

Big Trak was flippin ace you wallies. Make a maze for it, make it go "pew pew", make a different maze for it. Whole afternoon there.

I think I still have mine stored in the basement. Pretty sure it's been stored with its batteries taken out, otherwise it'll be well knackered.

[JesusAndYourBush]

Atomic Energy Lab (comes with 1 sample of Polonium and 4 samples of Uranium).

Exciting!  Safe!

[Wonderful Butternut]

Atomic Energy Lab (comes with 1 sample of Polonium and 4 samples of Uranium).

Exciting!  Safe!

I think I prefer it to shitting unicorns and flamingoes, to be honest.

Pity there isn't enough radioactive material to have your own criticality accident.