Disgusting things you gone and ate

[PlanktonSideburns]

Just bought a can of ye ole oak hot dogs, just so that I can feel alive

Thought I might change up from sitting in the petrol forecourt and eating them out of the can, take them home and fry them

NEVER









NEVER


do this.

It's like the end of pet cemetery in here right now

[PlanktonSideburns]

Actually, now that I've got over the initial cronemburgian body horror, they taste ok

Admin plz delet

[PlanktonSideburns]

They are whistling in the pan mornfully, like a gale blowing through Simon cowells old dolls house

[PlanktonSideburns]

What am I doing with my life

[Greg Torso]

Has anyone else done the " eating deep- fried insects"  thing while in Vietnam? They're just quite crunchy and don't taste much of anything.

I ate scorpions and crickets in Beijing and yeah it was all crunch. I only did it for the flex and the anecdote.

I also ate an entire duck, including its chin. The blood was jellied and cubed. The bones and everything else went in a soup. To be honest, I felt good about it. It was delicious and it had already had its life on a farm flying around in a rage, raping and pillaging, as ducks do. I ate it with respect, like a native, I ate it all up and erased it from this world. I feel bad about that now, but I feel worse for the little crabs and beetles on plates in buffets that will never get eaten up and died for nothing.

[buzby]

As a toddler, my nan used to give me pieces of raw sausage to eat.
As a kid, I used to eat dry Smash sandwiches (i.e. Smash granules on bread and marg). This later developed into dry Pot Noodle sandwiches (smash all the dry noodles up, mix up with the flavouring powder and spoon onto bread and marg).

I have a slightly more cultured palette now, though I am currently working my way through some out of date (by approximately 3 years) MRE pouches given to me by my brother in law which he bought for camping and recently rediscovered while emptying his garage. I looked through them and decided to start with what was potentially the most troublesome, a vegetarian all day breakfast. On opening the pouch the stench of 'mature' processed egg mixed with the artificial 'smoky' flavouring was overpowering, and only got worse after 3 minutes in the microwave. I had to open all the windows in the house for a couple of hours.

I did actually eat it, the worst parts being the aforementioned lump of scrambled egg (texture like slimy foam rubber, tasted of sulphur) and the 'sausages' which were like eating a Nerf dart, and left a horrible synthetic 'herb' aftertaste. If this is what they give soldiers to eat, no wonder they commit war crimes.

The most disgusting thing I haven't eaten is the vacuum-packed cooked whole chicken we used to sell in Kwik Save, as recounted in this thread.

[Paul Calf]

That's actually umble pie, i.e. tripe in a pie. Never come across it, but I imagine it tastes like haggis.

I doubt it. Haggis is the food of heaven and tripe is disgusting, wobbly fat that smells literally like shit.

[Chollis]

don't know why i keep coming into this thread. absolutely vile, the lot of you

[Paul Calf]

Dancing shrimp.

I should point out that these weren't the live dancing shrimp that you get on Thailand's street stalls. They were raw dead ones that 'dance' when you squeeze lime juice on them.

[Yussef Dent]

As a toddler, my nan used to give me pieces of raw sausage to eat.

Were you alright after this?! One of my bosses on the butcher's counter at Morrisons told me about his weird uncle who used to eat raw sausage and ended up absolutely riddled with tapeworms.

[buzby]

Were you alright after this?! One of my bosses on the butcher's counter at Morrisons told me about his weird uncle who used to eat raw sausage and ended up absolutely riddled with tapeworms.

I'm still alive, and I don't recall ever having tapeworms. Mind you, the sausages we could afford were probably mostly rusk and pork fat/tallow.

[Sebastian Cobb]

If I announced I was hungry on a walk my nan would hand me some dog biscuits to shut me up.

[Cuntbeaks]

If I announced I was hungry on a walk my nan would hand me some dog biscuits to shut me up.

Doesn't all pet food in the UK need to suitable for human consumption by law?

[Cuntbeaks]

As a toddler, my nan used to give me pieces of raw sausage to eat.
As a kid, I used to eat dry Smash sandwiches (i.e. Smash granules on bread and marg). This later developed into dry Pot Noodle sandwiches (smash all the dry noodles up, mix up with the flavouring powder and spoon onto bread and marg).

Fucking hell.

[Steven88]

Fucking hell.

Marg is the worst part of it.

[Famous Mortimer]

Just nuke butter+ a crushed clove or two of garlic+ some parsley+ salt + pepper in a teacup for 30 secs or so

Fuck's sake, Keith Floyd. This is not a thread for cooking tips. "Well, the thing you need to do with the gross thing that made you sick is..."

[Catalogue Trousers]

The people of Poland like a nice bit of salo. Nothing to do with that naughty Pasolini film, but a small dish of what is basically lard with some fatty bacon bits in that you can dip a bit of bread into and consume with your pint at the local tavern.

Yeah. There's a nice little supermarket near the Arches on Gloucester Road in Bristol which has a good range of Polish products. I once saw sitting in their food bins (appropriate place for such items) these foil-packed items looking a lot like big packs of Sheba or Mr Dog, claiming to contain pork pate, black pudding, and - I think - lard pate, which was pretty much the salo that you described there. The contents all resembled cheap own-brand dog food, but in fairness they all tasted pretty good. Hold your nose, close your eyes, and get stuck in.

[Jerzy Bondov]

Pretty tame stuff here. I used to eat a lot of Smash at university. I'd just make it in a saucepan and take that up to my room and sit on my bed and eat it. Once I stirred in some BBQ sauce for a treat but that was a mistake and I didn't like it.

The other day I amused my friends by dipping my chips in clotted cream. It was delicious.

[Cuellar]

I once put mustard on a chocolate

[Johnny Foreigner]

Pretty tame stuff here. I used to eat a lot of Smash at university. I'd just make it in a saucepan and take that up to my room and sit on my bed and eat it. Once I stirred in some BBQ sauce for a treat but that was a mistake and I didn't like it.

Smash is divine nectar, given to us by benevolent robot aliens.

[ImmaculateClump]

Pretty tame stuff here.

errr ... I ate sweetcorn.
Enough to put me off sweetcorn for a while.
It's perhaps my fault that I didn't mention how big the tin was, as I know your regular tins of sweetcorn are pretty small.
This one was more like an industrial catering size tin.
Well, maybe not that big, but it was like a tin of beans height and proper wide, like at least half as wide again.
Full of sweetcorn.

[PlanktonSideburns]

Doesn't all pet food in the UK need to suitable for human consumption by law?

Doesn't it?!

[flotemysost]

Speaking of Polish delicacies, I'm sure I've posted before about the sinewy hunk of rabbit I had there which wreaked violent revenge on my oesophagus and arsehole a few hours later. That wasn't actually disgusting though, it was pretty tasty.

Once ate some noodles out of a bin. It was my own bin, and I gave them a quick rinse under the tap before heating them up, but probably not my finest hour all the same. You could say it was a soba-ing revelation (if you were a stupid twat)

A former (otherwise very hygienic) flatmate used to have a thing for yogurt that was on the turn, because she liked how it tasted a bit like cheese.

Having said all this, anyone who's worked as waiting staff, kitchen porter etc. in even the ponciest restaurant will know that hygiene often goes out the window in these places. Something gets dropped on the floor (where everyone's been stomping around in their outdoor shoes)? No time to cook another, put it back on the plate and serve it up. Might as well just spit/wank into your own soup and save a bit of money.

[PlanktonSideburns]

Love a bit of slightly gone off yog

That polish one that bits Of bacon floating in a lard sauce that you dip bread into while down the pub sounds absolutely spot on

[Jerzy Bondov]

errr ... I ate sweetcorn.
Enough to put me off sweetcorn for a while.
It's perhaps my fault that I didn't mention how big the tin was, as I know your regular tins of sweetcorn are pretty small.
This one was more like an industrial catering size tin.
Well, maybe not that big, but it was like a tin of beans height and proper wide, like at least half as wide again.
Full of sweetcorn.

Sorry mate, I meant my stories are tame. Your sweetcorn story made me laugh

[Pavlov`s Dog`s Dad`s Dead]

A sparrow. Not sure whether house or tree. Deep-fried whole, and eaten whole. One slightly over-generous mouthful. Chewy - a good workout for the jaws. Nondescript taste - it's the texture that has stayed with me.

[Voltan (Man of Steel)]

Once ate some noodles out of a bin. It was my own bin, and I gave them a quick rinse under the tap before heating them up, but probably not my finest hour all the same. You could say it was a soba-ing revelation (if you were a stupid twat)

Udon it, I've done it, we've all done it.

[The Crumb]

A sparrow. Not sure whether house or tree. Deep-fried whole, and eaten whole. One slightly over-generous mouthful. Chewy - a good workout for the jaws. Nondescript taste - it's the texture that has stayed with me.

I had a plate of those in Vietnam. I don't remember them being too appalling, but I wouldn't rush to have them again. Nice 5 spice seasoning on them, mind.

[ImmaculateClump]

Sorry mate, I meant my stories are tame. Your sweetcorn story made me laugh

Blimey, you're easily pleased, but I'll gladly tek it!
Wow! I got an alert that someone had quoted me and everything, this is life changing! I usually post in a thread and can't remember, this is definitely gonna slow down the creeping dementia.
Obviously we're all scared of change, especially new coloured curtains and too many scatter cushions, but this is good change.

[billyandthecloneasaurus]

Continuing on the burger theme, when I was about 20 I got a burger from the van outside The Waterfront in Norwich, dropped it on the floor in the dark and then, quite drunk, 5 second-ruled into my gob, spitting gravel and grit out between mouthfuls.

Fuck, I did this, but in a flowerbed by a war memorial. I can still remember the gritty texture.