Mate's passed on

[Barry Admin]

Got woke from trying to sleep there by a call about my best mate who lives right beside me. I saw the police go into his flat last night when I was bringing the bin in, and I hadn't got any reply from him of late so was gonna chase him up today.

I just dunno what to do next, he was the nicest fucking guy. Davie was a rough looking bugger for sure, with tattoos all over his head; he was a recovering heroin addict who was the sweetest, most sensitive bloke when you chatted to him. Always forcing cigs into my hand and asking me if I needed anything. We'd just spend hours chatting.

He was also secretly drinking, which I knew about, and which we tried to get sorted. He was waiting for a liver transplant and the whole bit, so this isn't entirely out of the blue, but it still is just so shocking and I dunno what to even do next. I just keep crying and wishing I'd chased him up more the past week or two, but I felt he wanted his space.

[QDRPHNC]

Sorry to hear that Barry. Condolences for your friend.

[Fambo Number Mive]

Very sorry to hear this.

[Brundle-Fly]

Davie was clearly in a bad place and you can be rest assured, Neil, he cherished your friendship even if he seeked oblivion.      You have my sincerest sympathy. I lost an old mate recently to the demon drink, some people you just can't help.

[Small Man Big Horse]

So sorry to hear this, it's always horrendous when a close friend passes. I wish I could help more, but all I'd suggest is that you're as kind to yourself as he'd want you to be, surround yourself with other friends and family, or if you prefer to be alone, with any luxuries and just try to take it hour by hour, and then day by day, it will get easier but I know how tough it can be.

[Paul Calf]

That's horrible. Poor fucker. Did he have much in the way of family?

[QDRPHNC]

Davie was clearly in a bad place and you can be rest assured, Neil, he cherished your friendship even if he seeked oblivion.

Yes, well said. Hopefully you can take some comfort in the fact that you were a good friend to Davie after what sounds like a very hard life.

[imitationleather]

Very sorry to hear this mate.

[Johnny Foreigner]

I am very sorry for your loss, sir. The death of someone you really like is invariably awful.

[Barry Admin]

Thank you, I really needed a bit of support, I can't stop crying ffs, I don't think I even have a photo of him. What I do have is two cases of fucking NHS vitamin drinks clogging up the hall which he gave me the last time he got out of hospital.

That's horrible. Poor fucker. Did he have much in the way of family?

Most of them over in England where he was from, but he always loved NI and came over here to get away from ready access to smack. So noone over here, just his girlfriend and her daughter really.

He was just the loveliest bloke, we'd talk and talk for hours. He started doing the upside down "lucky cigarette" thing again cause he saw me doing it. And he'd excitedly tell me when he had his girlfriend's daughters Chinchilla over to look after as he knew I loved it. We'd take her dogs for a walk around the estate, me 6 foot 7 and him looking like a real tough nut, but having to walk the dogs on with her fucking pink choker leads and harnesses. Ahh man I loved Davie, I loved him to bits. RIP, my friend.

[GoblinAhFuckScary]

Oh Barry I'm so sorry for this. Much love to you right now xxxxx

[Glebe]

Very sorry to hear it Barry, condolences.

[Famous Mortimer]

Sorry to hear this, BA.

[wrec]

Sorry for your loss Barry and don't be hard on yourself, it's clear you were a good friend to Dave. Bereavement is heavy and exhausting to go through so give yourself some time and space if you can.

[Claude the Racecar Driving Rockstar Super Sleuth]

I'm so sorry to hear this.

Having lost my best friend a few years ago, I wish I had some great insightful advice for you, but it's just a shit situation. The best I can offer is that, like a physical wound, you may always bear the scar, but the pain will eventually go away.

[AsparagusTrevor]

Sorry for your loss Mr Admin. You've shared some lovely memories of him, just hold onto those and please feel free to share any more.

[Buelligan]

Extremely sorry to hear this.  Huge hug, old sport.

[Twit 2]

Sorry to hear this, BA. It's sad how sensitive people end up having to self-medicate to dull the pain of life. I have a lot of friendships that are essentially therapy in practice, fellow people with wounds consoling each other. I know how valuable these are to me, and to them, so definitely take solace in the fact that you were a good mate to him and that those chats helped.

Make sure you can talk to some other good people in your life right now, so you don't suffer this alone.

[Johnny Yesno]

Sorry to hear about your pal, Barry. As Brundle said, it sounds like he valued your friendship.

[Janie Jones]

Sorry for your loss Barry and don't be hard on yourself, it's clear you were a good friend to Dave. Bereavement is heavy and exhausting to go through so give yourself some time and space if you can.

Yes this. You mentioned in another thread how fragile you are right now even before this news, which is still a terrible shock no matter how predictable it may have been. I'm quite worried about you, life's giving you a battering at the moment. Losing a trusted friend is awful.

Is there anything we can do? We can 'buy you a coffee' at least, but would handing the keys to CaB over to someone you trust for a bit be any help? Probably not, I guess supervising and staying engaged with this place is helping but if it wasn't, I'd bet there are folk here with the time and ability to maintain and mod it for a bit to give you a break.

[Barry Admin]

Yes this. You mentioned in another thread how fragile you are right now even before this news, which is still a terrible shock no matter how predictable it may have been. I'm quite worried about you, life's giving you a battering at the moment. Losing a trusted friend is awful.

Yeah the timing here was a kick in the nuts. With that other thing I can't really talk about, I was later reminded that earlier that day I'd just been saying to someone in these flats how quiet and peaceful it is round here these days.

The other thing there is that the day after, I was outside having a smoke and two new neighbours came up to me. I'd talked to them when I was sunbathing a few months ago and was one of the only people they knew here, so they walked up and said "ohhh, we thought it was you!" That was... well it didn't feel great. So yeah, too much death and drama of late. A raw potato slowly rolled off a plate in the kitchen the other night, and the sound sent me into a deep panic for like 5 seconds.

Is there anything we can do? We can 'buy you a coffee' at least, but would handing the keys to CaB over to someone you trust for a bit be any help? Probably not, I guess supervising and staying engaged with this place is helping but if it wasn't, I'd bet there are folk here with the time and ability to maintain and mod it for a bit to give you a break.

No it's all good, thanks so much for the thought tho and for all the other kind words in this thread. Just give me a bit of support by listening when I need to vent on here, that's all, thank you. The more upset I get, the more I tend to shut down and go mute, but having you lot to talk to when I can always means a lot to me.

I dunno what I'll do, maybe spend more time on here, maybe less. I need to take this as a warning shot too, as I've been very unhealthy since the pandemic stated and ended up smoking again and have been a total hermit, so I think I just need to put on my big boy pants and take the cat for a walk.

Thank you again. I'll be okay. "Never give up."

[Kankurette]

I'm sorry, Barry. I wish you long life. <3

[turnstyle]

Really sorry to hear this, Barry. Best thing you can do is make sure to look after yourself buddy.

[Elderly Sumo Prophecy]

A raw potato slowly rolled off a plate in the kitchen the other night, and the sound sent me into a deep panic for like 5 seconds.

This is clearly an omen, perhaps even a harbinger of doom. Secure any remaining vegetables.

[Barry Admin]

Sorry to hear this, BA. It's sad how sensitive people end up having to self-medicate to dull the pain of life. I have a lot of friendships that are essentially therapy in practice, fellow people with wounds consoling each other. I know how valuable these are to me, and to them, so definitely take solace in the fact that you were a good mate to him and that those chats helped.

Make sure you can talk to some other good people in your life right now, so you don't suffer this alone.

Thank you thank you. I was worried I'd get jokes and stuff here which I just can't take at the minute, but this was lovely and touched me. Just wish I had a voicemail or something of him calling me Neily. He told me about his drinking a long time before he could tell his girlfriend, so yeah, I did listen to him a lot and we didn't judge each other. We'd spend ages just chatting in the back yard until our toes and ears were so cold we couldn't bear it anymore.

[Cloud]

Shit.. sorry to that.

Sounds like you played a good part in making his life a fair bit brighter, so whilst sadly cut short, you've done the best thing you can do for someone and he departs the world in a better place than if you'd not been there.

[mothman]

Sounds like you played a good part in making his life a fair bit brighter, so whilst sadly cut short, you've done the best thing you can do for someone and he departs the world in a better place than if you'd not been there.

Exactly. It's inevitable you'd think you could have done more but in truth there is only so much anyone, even those professionally qualified to do so, can do.

I was worried I'd get jokes and stuff here which I just can't take at the minute

Even on a forum where the sainted Attenborough (!) can be pilloried, I'd like to think not even the edgiest among us would actually joke about the loss of anyone here's friends or family.

[Ray Travez]

Sorry to hear this Barry

It's a hard thing to lose someone you love

[checkoutgirl]

Very sad. You were lucky to know him and have a neighbour to talk to.

[Blue Jam]

So sorry to hear this Neil, my condolences xxx