I live near Willy Wonka's factory

Started by Fambo Number Mive, November 18, 2021, 08:58:18 PM

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Fambo Number Mive

And round the corner, chocolate's made!

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Nobody ever goes in
and nobody ever comes out

Glebe

We daren't go a-hunting, for fear of little men.

Fambo Number Mive

The stench of chocolate is occasionally drowned out by the odour of semen. Willy Wonka? Willy Wanker more like.

Glebe

Quote from: Fambo Number Mive on November 19, 2021, 09:06:48 AMThe stench of chocolate is occasionally drowned out by the odour of semen. Willy Wonka? Willy Wanker more like.

Chocolate sales drop "to all time low".

frajer

I live nearby too and once saw Wonka tugging one out in his great glass elevator. He was hovering over the courtyard, pulling the head off it like a feral David Blaine.

Fambo Number Mive

"As there are children on the tour, we shall skip the Onanism Room"

Grandpa Joe was very disappointed.

GMTV

Repeated Improvement Notices issued by the Environment Agency regarding semen discharges into the local watercourses

Mr Farenheit

come here
inside
What is this Wonka, some kind of funny farm?
NO, it's so much more, just come inside and I'll show you



Midas

sad to say i'm not at all surprised wonka's been sprinkling his dew all over his produce. dirty bastard.

Fambo Number Mive

Wonka last left the factory in 1981, to buy a copy of Jugs magazine and a jar of mayonnaise.

Stoneage Dinosaurs

Oompa Loompa Doopity Danus
Hello slut I want to live in your anus

frajer

Oompa Loompa Doopity Danker
Watch me rub one out while my boat drops anchor

jobotic


Midas

I want the works
I want the whole works

Cream buns and dog nuts and fruitcake with log nuts
All mixed in with hog guts

Give it to me
Rrhh rhhh
Now!

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Quote from: Midas on November 19, 2021, 08:13:03 PMI want the works
I want the whole works

Cream buns and dog nuts and fruitcake with log nuts
All mixed in with hog guts

Give it to me
Rrhh rhhh
Now!

and she's still 12 right?

I help escaped Oompah-Loompahs flee through the sewers. Then I kill them and turn their flesh into pies.

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Quote from: dissolute ocelot on November 20, 2021, 10:37:00 AMI help escaped Oompah-Loompahs flee through the sewers. Then I kill them and turn their flesh into pies.

The 'pastry' of the pies, or the fillings?

H-O-W-L

I live near Willy Wanker's factory and it is incredibly depressing.

Glebe

There were uncomfortable faces at a recent chocolate industry bash when he was announced as a 'seminal' chocolate-maker.

GMTV

Quote from: Glebe on November 20, 2021, 07:28:28 PMThere were uncomfortable faeces at a recent chocolate industry bash when he was announced as a 'seminal' chocolate-maker.

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Quote from: H-O-W-L on November 20, 2021, 02:18:35 PMI live near Willy Wanker's factory and it is incredibly depressing.

Move in then

Glebe


Jerzy Bondov

Willy Wonka's Wonky Willy. He has been suffering from Peyronie's disease for over 18 months and will now be undergoing surgery to correct the bend in his shaft, but this will sadly lead to some shortening of the penis.

Glebe

Factory's been closed down by Health & Safety. No reason given, but I've heard chat of 'spunk', 'shite' and 'other unmentionables'.

The Dog

Owned by the Lockheed Martin corporation now.

Glebe

When did Wonka's standards drop so steeply? He used to produce wonderful choc like Scrumdiddlyumptious bars, now he's filling his products with spunk and shit if this thread is to be believed.

Fambo Number Mive

His products were always filled with varying amounts of bodily fluids, sadly.

Scrumdiddlyumptious? Cumdiddlyumptious more like!

H-O-W-L

Glassdoor reviews are rather worrisome.

frajer

Turns out all along the "vile" Slugworth was just the unfortunate victim of Wonka's smear campaign (and by that I DO mean the many times Wonka smeared his cock all over Slugworth's windscreen).