It's still under construction, so please bear with me

'I Like My Coffee How I Like My Men...'

Started by Dr Rock, November 19, 2021, 07:27:36 AM

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Mr Banlon

Dr Rock

Left to stew, then thrown out the window.


Sustainable and brimming with nut milk.

I remember seeing a very silly short film in which a self-conscious looking bloke approaches a surly teenage barista, who reels off the various options (full fat milk, small hole in the lid to let out steam etc.) then yells out his order as "Short, bald, fat, white, with a small prick!" but I can't for the life of me think where I saw it.


With an Italian name that people always get wrong.

Mavis Golightly

In the morning. In the kitchen, on the couch, in bed, in the bath, but never on the loo. I have to draw the line somewhere.


Guaranteed to precipitate a bowel movement

Dex Sawash



Taken from a developing nation in a burlap sack, for me to grind into powder with power tools in my home

• Prepared by a Gen Z'er with blue hair.
• Leaving a hot mess down the front of my trousers.


Lisa Jesusandmarychain

Tony Tony Tony

Dr Rock

Has to be Colombian. I need about three every morning just to wake up.


Found in a back alley and leaving a sour taste


Tony Tony Tony

Slathered in syrup and horrifying the purists.

Also no teeth breaking biscuits please.


Ends up in the compost bin when I'm finished.


Inside me within a couple of minutes of spooning so I can get on with my day


Unapologetically pretentious, claims to care about social causes, and leaves me feeling like an uncultured tryhard.


sprinkled with cinnamon ... it's just a lovely ingredient.