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When Things Won't Switch Off

Started by flotemysost, November 19, 2021, 07:07:56 PM

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Clownbaby

I was very paranoid around electric things and things with batteries when I was a wean. I had a Disney Hercules interactive book that started going fucky when the batteries gave in. All my soft toys with voice boxes in had to be neutered. Tina Teaspoon, Bagpuss mice, McDonald's Mr Men and Little Miss toys, all MUTE because I couldn't handle the dread of the malfunctioning voice boxes where instead of "We're off to button moooon" it's "We're ourrruuurrrklklklkloooouuu". I had some toys called Loogeez which had sensors on them that reacted to slime being draped onto them, and they would moan and beg for their Loog at random if you knocked them (no off switch) so they obviously had to get the snip. I still didn't trust them, one day my mam went "oh for fuck's sake" when I poked one with a pen and flinched, and they got binned.

My dad's friend gave me a PS1, with Crash Bandicoot (he later regretted giving us the game and asked for it back but we kept it) when I was about 6 and I was scared to use it up until I was 10, fell in love with the game and stopped being scared of electric things. They're an interest to me now. I like animatronics and robots, even though I'm not a tech savvy person I find videos about restoring animatronics interesting. Still fucking hate rides though. Rides can piss off. I'll watch other people on them but I'm NOT GETTING ON.

Anyone else find it a bit offputting that iPod classics never actually switch off? The screen just goes off

Sebastian Cobb

Quote from: Brian Freeze on November 19, 2021, 07:30:03 PMHad a car that would carry on for a bit after turning the key off. It was so exciting I cant remember which car it was.



My dad had a diesel Montego with a sticky fuel cut-off that did this.

H-O-W-L

Actually had this earlier when I tried to unzip an insanely compressed .zip file and it fucking lagged the cunting bollocks off the whole system. Got so mad I jabbed the power button and just fucked off the program I was trying to install. Fucking Windows wouldn't cunting kill the process, just "ooahh can you stop a bit?" over and over. Couldn't switch to the proper big balls process-killing Details tab because it was so laggy.

seepage

Quote from: Brian Freeze on November 19, 2021, 07:30:03 PMHad a car that would carry on for a bit after turning the key off. It was so exciting I cant remember which car it was.

Partner's car did this. Took it in for a service and was very happy with the outcome. Next day drove it back from work and the engine blew but there was just enough momentum to guide it to a halt outside the en-route garage they bought it from, whereupon it promptly started billowing black smoke and burst into flames.

Dex Sawash

Quote from: seepage on November 20, 2021, 02:51:02 PMPartner's car did this. Took it in for a service and was very happy with the outcome. Next day drove it back from work and the engine blew but there was just enough momentum to guide it to a halt outside the en-route garage they bought it from, whereupon it promptly started billowing black smoke and burst into flames.

In the industry we call this a twofer. Gets rid of a headache car and customer in one shot. Not good for garage liability insurance rates if you do it often.

Sebastian Cobb

The biggest automotive letdown i've had was when i replaced the burst power steering lines with hydraulic hoses a mate made up at his work then took the thing to get MOT'd which required a costly brake rebuild, the tax had ran out so I had nowhere to do it myself and just paid for it to get done at the garage, then about a month later one of the teeth broke off the steering rack. I carefully drove it to the scrapyard after that.

seepage

Quote from: Dex Sawash on November 20, 2021, 03:19:05 PMIn the industry we call this a twofer. Gets rid of a headache car and customer in one shot. Not good for garage liability insurance rates if you do it often.

They watched the car roll towards them with a "uh oh, this isn't good" look, but managed to sell my partner a replacement for twice the price. They did waive the cost of the service though. All this to travel to a part-time cleaning job that is never going to cover the cost.

Sebastian Cobb

did you not get a new car on the insurance? most policies cover spontaneous combustion.

seepage

Quote from: Sebastian Cobb on November 20, 2021, 03:32:57 PMdid you not get a new car on the insurance? most policies cover spontaneous combustion.

Head gasket went and policy says that's not covered if due to wear & tear.


Dex Sawash


Mechanic loses twofer credit with replacement car sale. Some of you refuse to fuck off no matter how hard we don't try to fix your shit right the first time.

icehaven

The button on my earphones is extremely temperamental when it comes to switching whatever I'm listening to on my phone on and off. I can be frantically clicking it trying to turn it off and nothing happens, or sometimes it'll keep going then stop and start a bit as if it's just got a delay. To be fair I think it depends what's up on the phone screen rather than a fault with the earphones but it's still a pain in the arse.

Quote from: beanheadmcginty on November 20, 2021, 10:13:02 AMXbox controllers are shockingly reluctant to turn themselves off unless mummy console tells them it's OK to do so. Usually end up ripping out the battery pack.

Holding down the guide button for six seconds should force it to turn off.

Kankurette

Quote from: flotemysost on November 19, 2021, 07:07:56 PMBeen thinking about how among life's trifling and ephemeral vexations, a common one is when something continues running/playing/whatever, even after it's no longer meant to. Obvious example (which there's been a good few anecdotes about on here) is when a mucky video doesn't pause/minimise in time and betrays your grubby urges, but what else?

I had a work video call recently where my laptop suddenly started blaring out some very energetic, raunchy funk music from whatever radio show was playing in another tab (the desktop player kept stalling so I'd forgotten it wasn't actually paused). Could have been far worse, but I could see one person on the call couldn't stop quivering with muted laughter.

I used to get quite scared by the idea of things not stopping when I was a child. I was given an Animals of Farthing Wood picture book one Christmas which had a panel along the side that you could press for various animal noises, but after a few months the internal battery wore down and it would play the noises unprompted, distorted to anguished sludgy groans drifting from my bookshelf in the middle of the night, which shat me up.

When have you been spooked/humiliated/annoyed by uncooperative technology?
My brother used to have this Wallace and Gromit alarm clock that said 'morning Gromit, time for walkies'. One time it got broken and Wallace would not shut up. I have no idea how we fixed it. Probably smashed it with a hammer.

Anguished sludgy groans is in keeping with the general theme of the Animals of Farthing Wood, those books were nightmare fuel. Colin Dann must have read Watership Down and gone 'hold my beer'.

KennyMonster

Quote from: Sebastian Cobb on November 20, 2021, 02:18:16 PMMy dad had a diesel Montego with a sticky fuel cut-off that did this.

It was obviously trying to say

"My name is Diesel Montego, you killed my father, prepare to die."

flotemysost

Quote from: Kankurette on November 21, 2021, 03:07:15 PMMy brother used to have this Wallace and Gromit alarm clock that said 'morning Gromit, time for walkies'. One time it got broken and Wallace would not shut up. I have no idea how we fixed it. Probably smashed it with a hammer.

Anguished sludgy groans is in keeping with the general theme of the Animals of Farthing Wood, those books were nightmare fuel. Colin Dann must have read Watership Down and gone 'hold my beer'.

Love the idea of someone slowly being driven insane by a loquacious Wallace telling them to go for walkies. My brother was given a guitar-shaped alarm clock by an elderly relative (probably the only thing they could think of that might be vaguely appealing to their rock-loving teenage relative) which had various alarm tones, one of them a snatch of the guitar riff from Suspicious Minds but sped up to maniacal hillbilly mode. I don't think it ever malfunctioned, but it was a bit scary nevertheless.

And you're not wrong re: Animals of Farthing Wood, I was an ardent viewer of the animated series which didn't shy away from the gory stuff so you'd think I'd have been hardened to the ugly side of woodland life.

Johnny Foreigner

Animals of Farthing Wood was downright traumatising. Cracking theme tune, though.

Ambient Sheep

Quote from: seepage on November 20, 2021, 03:37:22 PMHead gasket went and policy says that's not covered if due to wear & tear.

Blimey, I've had at least two new head gaskets in my time (two different cars) and neither of them showed the slightest sign of catching the car alight.

seepage

Partner's description of events. They were probably thinking 'no smoke without fire'.

Brian Freeze

Quote from: Attila on November 20, 2021, 07:42:19 AMMaybe the Family Truckster?

To my shame Ive not seen much National Lampooning but that car looks the bollocks. I'd drive the shit out of it for sure.

Can @Dex Sawash find me one from over his way?

Brian Freeze

Just checking the thingy for member insertion and it doesnt show up in preview.

To go back to kids toys that wont turn off, we had a Noahs Ark that when brand new had an already mournful tolling of the ships bell when you turned the ships wheel.

As it lay hidden and abandoned in the garage its malevolent side came out as it started its random descent into madness. Very reminiscent of James Herberts "The Fog".

Dex Sawash

Quote from: Brian Freeze on November 22, 2021, 08:50:44 AMTo my shame Ive not seen much National Lampooning but that car looks the bollocks. I'd drive the shit out of it for sure.

Can @Dex Sawash find me one from over his way?

You discussed me

idunnosomename

Quote from: Kankurette on November 21, 2021, 03:07:15 PMMy brother used to have this Wallace and Gromit alarm clock that said 'morning Gromit, time for walkies'. One time it got broken and Wallace would not shut up. I have no idea how we fixed it. Probably smashed it with a hammer.
pretty on-brand for a Wallace contraption really