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Johnson's CBI speech

Started by Fambo Number Mive, November 22, 2021, 03:05:07 PM

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Fambo Number Mive

An attempt to look like "one of the lads" in the press and distract from the multiple accusations of corruption in the Tory party?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2p7TDt3qFIs

Or Johnson's Partridge moment? Asking people in South Shields why they haven't visited a children's theme park in Hampshire (according to the Daily Mail) was no doubt an attempt at LOLBORIS humour. I doubt the CBI attendees were in the mood for humour though.

Delegates mostly maskless as well I note. Johnson giving one of his "elbow bumps" (does anyone else do these?) to the host.

Not sure how long Johnson's speech was but the Telegraph (who of course used to employ Johnson and still love him) have a 46 minute clip for their readers to watch, which includes questions from the media.


SpiderChrist

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pigamus

Quote from: Video Game Fan 2000 on November 22, 2021, 03:06:56 PMDead cat.

It's not even that, it's just his act. What were people expecting exactly?

Wish he'd thrown himself under Grandpa Pig's little train.

jobotic

The creators of Peppa Pig did a flattering lampoon of Johnson in Ben and Holly's Little Kingdom. Like HIGNFY for kids. Maybe that's why he's so well disposed towards them.


Fambo Number Mive

QuoteA senior source at No 10 told the BBC: "Business was really looking for leadership today and it was shambolic."

They added there was "a lot of concern inside the building" about Mr Johnson.

"Cabinet needs to wake up and demand serious changes otherwise it'll keep getting worse. If they don't insist, he just won't do anything about it."

I presume a senior source at Number 10 would be working for Johnson? This is the top story on BBC News but, like the maskless hospital visit, these attempts to deflect from Tory corruption seem to make Johnson look worse than the corruption itself.

Maybe Johnson is meant to be taking the heat for his party but making himself look like a dithering dickhead in front of business leaders probably won't go down that well. It works with the general public but these are the people who fund his party.

Does look a bit desperate and pathetic either way. Maybe he's trying to deflect from the report that charities say that his social care plans will be worse for the poor than those on middle incomes and the rich.

Fambo Number Mive

Quote from: druss on November 22, 2021, 05:14:07 PMAll choreographed.

I defintely agree with this, he's experienced enough at public speaking not to lose his place for 20 seconds or whatever it was. And the Peppa Pig stuff was clearly rehearsed as well. Just like the maskless sleep next to Attenborough, it's all planned.

I heard him speak once when he came to my school, this was a couple of decades ago I think when he hadn't even pissed away millions on the Garden Bridge. I knew he was a prick but I didn't realise how much of a sad little prick he would turn out to be.

Norton Canes

For Gods sake cut him some slack. All he's done is produced an utterly incomprehensible speech in front of the captains of British industry, it's not like he's had a gin and tonic on a train.

Fambo Number Mive

I just wonder if Johnson will have to do more and more embarrassing things as more corruption scandals some out.

"Boris, you're giving a speech to the Walmington on Sea Conservative Association today. Could you shit yourself during it, please - we think that will distract the media from the latest round of sleaze headlines."


olliebean

Quote from: druss on November 22, 2021, 05:14:07 PMAll choreographed.

Yes, he makes a show of looking through several pages before continuing to read from the one that was on top in the first place.

Give him a big enough corruption scandal, and I honestly think there is a non-zero chance of him bringing out some obscure old timey slurs again to get the papers talking about that instead.

Reporter: Prime Minister, its been claimed that you personally bought dogecoin with money from the treasury and donated it people in exchange for government contracts and honours.

Boris Johnson: I-I-I-I slap my girlfriend.

poodlefaker

Quote from: Norton Canes on November 22, 2021, 05:26:52 PMFor Gods sake cut him some slack. All he's done is produced an utterly incomprehensible speech in front of the captains of British industry, it's not like he's had a gin and tonic on a train.
Think it might be his fondness for G & T that's behind a lot of this

I thought he was visibly drunk at both the "dead in a ditch" speech, slurring and pale as if he'd rapidly sobered up, and then moreso at one of the first PMQs after the proroguement scandal in 2019.

Found it strange that his appearance and slurring didn't get any comments whatsoever.

jobotic

In what many are viewing as thinly veiled move at usurping Johnson's position, Michael Gove appeared coked up off his tits, topless and covered in shit when he gave his speech at the County Council Network AGM tonight. The BBC's Laura Kuenssberg tweeted "delegates were just happy not to see Corbyn, although some did leave the room when the Minister shouted LEVEL THIS UP YOU CUNTS LET'S HAVE SOME APHEX ACID and began to undo his belt.

Jittlebags

One of the comment pieces on the Torygraph says the speech was an inadverdent success. What planet are these fuckers on? Surely the men in white overalls with one of those lassoo things on a stick should be closing in on Boris.

Glebe

Did he actually say "burble like sucking doves"?!

Rizla

LOL at this complete wankpuffin! Why don't you simply go, Mr Johnson?!

imitationleather

I'm guessing he'd not read the speech beforehand and when he realised it was a bit numbers-heavy lapsed into After Dinner Speaker Boris.

Johnny Yesno


Norton Canes

This, via FB from a freind in the comics business:


"Amongst much of the justifiable laughter at the expense of Boris Johnson's near incoherent "Peppa Pig" ramble to the CBI this week lies a tragedy that's worth highlighting. While he rightly praises the show, and how much money it's made for the UK economy, a friend in the animation industry notes it's unlikely he knows (or cares) "Peppa Pig" began life at The Cartoon Forum (http://cartoon-media.com) a yearly pitching event, often held in France, which helps to develop new animated shows by introducing them to distributors and producers.
 
As a direct result of Brexit, UK producers are now excluded from pitching their new projects at the Forum to raise international funding, making it much harder for the next "Peppa" to exist.

"Johnson stated that Peppa Pig has contributed £6 billion to the UK economy," my friend notes. "Put that on the side of a big, red bus."

Here's a link for where the bar on UK pitches is specifically stated as due to Brexit http://cartoon-media.com/.../submit-a.../regulations.htm.

(UK buyers can still attend, which may confuse on an initial visit to the site)"

Blinder Data

Quote from: imitationleather on November 22, 2021, 10:00:16 PMI'm guessing he'd not read the speech beforehand and when he realised it was a bit numbers-heavy lapsed into After Dinner Speaker Boris.

I think this is most likely. It's not a "dead cat" because it's not distracting people from anything. It's like many LOLBORIS speeches he's done, only this time he misjudged the audience, it follows a period of chaotically bad decision-making and he's on his way down, so no one's laughing. His speech at Tory party conference was similar but he got away with it because momentum was with him.

poodlefaker

Quote from: Video Game Fan 2000 on November 22, 2021, 06:35:42 PMI thought he was visibly drunk at both the "dead in a ditch" speech, slurring and pale as if he'd rapidly sobered up, and then moreso at one of the first PMQs after the proroguement scandal in 2019.

Found it strange that his appearance and slurring didn't get any comments whatsoever.
A lot of his crazy hi-jinks make more sense if he's pissed/still pissed/hungover - the weekend at the Lebedevs', the fight with the gf that had the police called, the cenotaph in 2019, the bullshit about making model buses to relax, that time he flew to Ireland but couldn't get off the plane...

idunnosomename

I thought he trousers were literally going to fall down near the beginning. Bit much really.

H-O-W-L

Quote from: Norton Canes on November 22, 2021, 05:26:52 PMFor Gods sake cut him some slack. All he's done is produced an utterly incomprehensible speech in front of the captains of British industry, it's not like he's had a gin and tonic on a train.

This post made me look it up and I was hatfucked to find out that London trains don't let you drink!

poodlefaker

Actually this proves it - with science: https://www.seolondonsurrey.co.uk/blog/boris-johnson-problematic-drinking-supposed-online-reputation-management.
Before he gives the bullshit about making buses he subsconsciously mimes knocking back two glasses of wine.

buttgammon

Even the Downing Street sources are briefing against him now. I wonder what more lucrative gig he's got lined up?

jobotic

Whatever it is I hope involves drinking himself to death.