Gordon Ramsay’s The Apprentice

[oggyraiding]

Ramsay's evil was made apparent in one of the Hell's Kitchen series, where the boys team wins and the prize is going in a helicopter to an island and having a grand all time. One of the boys, Robert, is too fat for the helicopter, so he has to take a ferry. By the time the ferry reaches the island, the other lads have finished their treat so Robert has to go straight back on the ferry and back home. Seems very cruel.

[Alberon]

Well, this is a very very silly opening challenge. Cooking is very incidental to this show.

[Des Wigwam]

Well, this is a very very silly opening challenge. Cooking is very incidental to this show.

That was my thought (haven't seen last night's ep yet but am actually looking forward to it - and I detested The Apprentice-proper). Most of the contestants aren't chefs or involved in selling food to be consumed at the point of preparation are they? They're mostly crisp / drink / jam makers etc. In the same way that The Apprentice lot aren't graphic designers or, I suppose, home economists / food scientists on those poison a baby / flog something to Waitrose and M&S challenges.

[Blue Jam]

"Mediterranean Munch? Sounds a bit juvenile."

...says the man fronting a show called #FFS.

Not got much to say about this show beyond A: It's shit, and B: I love it.

[thr0b]

I enjoy it. I like that there are always two tasks; one basically team building, which lets Gordon shout at them for not being able to run an entire restaurant and drive-thru on their own on thirty minutes notice, and the second "proper" task, in which they do have to work on a proper menu, product and small business.

Gordon's comments are always constructive, and if people argue back he does seem to at least hear them out.

Glad 1950s woman has gone. Amit is clearly the star - almost certainly won't win, but his grumpy "I'm doing it my way" style is great fun.

[Blue Jam]

Amit looks like Peter Serafinowicz. He's my favourite too.

Welsh bloke who got fired has the same speaking voice as the opera bloke on the Go Compare ads.

[bgmnts]

I've actually tried Welsh lad's jam and it's quite nice.

[Alberon]

I bet you have you dirty old bollocks.

[Malcy]

I enjoy this. It's a good laugh and Amit's facial expressions are a hoot.

He mentioned cooking traditional food since 1967. What age is he?

Any early guesses for a winner? I'd like Michelle to win.

[mjwilson]

This is quite a bit better than the Apprentice isn't it?
The contestants have been picked so they have some baseline level of competence.
The tasks are at least vaguely cooking-related.
And they all had to jump off a cliff.

[Malcy]

This is quite a bit better than the Apprentice isn't it?
The contestants have been picked so they have some baseline level of competence.
The tasks are at least vaguely cooking-related.
And they all had to jump off a cliff.

I would probably have quit at that and defo quit at the tightrope thing.

[Des Wigwam]

Last week's was OK but I've largely forgotten it. The one who looks like Heidi off Sugababes was the team leader and looked like she was fucking it up but then it was all Ok. The 50s drinks magnate was rightly booted off. Amit wandering around having a go on all the AV equipment was quite funny.

Bit disappointed Gordo has dropped his cool-dad entrances but laughed heartily at him climbing out of his shit Land Rover and through the drive-in window for no reason at all - loved how the one running the drive in looked worried for his safety and had to cautiously help him stand up.

Liked how excited they were to meet one of the kings of the gig economy.

Agree with all of @thr0b 's post. Amit will probably be a finalist but it's difficult to say whose business plan has been chosen to win at this stage. I did like Amit saying cockily he had 'about 147 recipes in his head' for the lunch thing and Victoria's (?) pass-agg response of 'hmmm you're going to have to narrow it down for this challenge' <Amit glares at her silently>. But his idea's as good as any and he supposedly has the skills. I don't get the notion in this that you can only eat Indian food at night (presumably with an elephant naan each and 4 massive bottles of kingfisher between bites). I assume Indian (and Pakistani and Bangladeshi) people eat more than one meal a day.

[Des Wigwam]

I would probably have quit at that and defo quit at the tightrope thing.

I think with the tightrope bit you just had to let whoever thought Gordon gave a shit about who did it do it.

[thr0b]

I don't get the notion in this that you can only eat Indian food at night (presumably with an elephant naan each and 4 massive bottles of kingfisher between bites). I assume Indian (and Pakistani and Bangladeshi) people eat more than one meal a day.

I tended to agree with that; curry sits heavily, and makes me sluggish. I'd never choose it as a food for lunch at work, much as it's delicious.

They were going down the curry route, rather than anything more imaginative/lighter.

[Des Wigwam]

I tended to agree with that; curry sits heavily, and makes me sluggish. I'd never choose it as a food for lunch at work, much as it's delicious.

They were going down the curry route, rather than anything more imaginative/lighter.

That is true. It annoyed me it got shouted down straight away (a bit like "people in Cornwall don't want that shit after a day out" in the first episode). But when Amit said he had about 147 recipes in his head I didn't think they would all be "curry".

You would have thought Wagamama the Japanese restaurant chain would already have gyoza on the menu - maybe they were amazing. All that menu looked good.

I don't like the event planner guy at all. He always seems to fuck up his role and reflexively pushes the blame away from himself regardless. Ditto the vegan.

[Malcy]

Is the vegan the Italian one? She does my head in.

Just seen that Amit is 38. So how can he have been around Indian food since 1967?

[Des Wigwam]

Yes - I'd have to watch them all again to tell you specifically what it is she does that gets on my tits but can summarise it with "everything".

I think Amit says "his family" have been making Indian food since 1967 and then fudges it into he has been making it with them. I assume he means commercially rather than one day they just switched from the incongruous northern European or mediterranean diet they had for some reason been eating.

[Des Wigwam]

It's all well and good sniping at everything and everyone in this but I do really really enjoy the bits where Gordo drops his schtick and gives them cheffy advice about what they're cooking in the second challenge.

[Malcy]

Yeah he seems more constructive about it than he would on Hell's Kitchen etc.

[Elderly Sumo Prophecy]

He's always nicer and more helpful when he's interacting with British people. He reserves his true vitriol for Americans.

[bgmnts]

He's always nicer and more helpful when he's interacting with British people. He reserves his true vitriol for Americans.

Rightly so.

Ramsey is only really truly entertaining when he is screaming hot spittle into some poor aspiring commis chef, almost bursting a blood vessel over "the lamb SaAUuCeeE!!"

[Des Wigwam]

Can't remember much of last week's. They had to go into a cave the hard way because when you're in business SOMETIMES THINGS ARE HARD. I think that was the rationale. Thought it was interesting that all bar two of these people who are passionate about food have no taste buds. It wasn't as if they were being asked to name a particular wine vintage in a double blind tasting - is the cheese sharp and musty? yes. that's the one then.

In the second one the vegan and the pass-agg front of house disaster guy were perfectly matched for entertainment value but avoided being binned off by dint of being on the winning team. Would have been interesting to see if they'd have gone if they'd been on the losing team or if their business is the one worth spunking 150k on.

I think the right two went:

Spoiler alert

Amit would be a nightmare to be in business with. He might end up with a decent mid-sized factory churning his stuff out but he can't take advice. Michelle seemed the opposite and would probably end up bankrupt and on fraud charges after hiring a dodgy CFO.

[close]

Have struggled to even remember what the challenge was but looking forward to tonight nonetheless.

Still don't understand how

Spoiler alert

the lad with the Paul Weller hair is still in it. He also seems a disaster in the kitchen despite doing that role every time.

[close]

My guess is there's possibly money in

Spoiler alert

mussel bars - although that in itself seems a really 90s concept - like his vibe.

[close]

[Blue Jam]

Did anyone else wonder how one team got away with putting rocky road bars in a vegetarian meal box when marshmallows aren't vegetarian? Or can you get vegetarian ones now?

[Des Wigwam]

You must be able to get veggie ones these days but have to say it hadn't occurred to me. I assume it's boiled cow (or horse or pig) that gives traditional ones their delightful texture.

I'd forgotten the 13 year old CEO. Part of my annoyance with that is that I would have loved to be independently wealthy by, say, 15 but is it even legal to hold an executive position that young? He's presumably just the face of whatever it is at the moment. I would have loved it if he'd been a massive spod and droned on about corporate re-structuring and tax efficiency.

[bgmnts]

You can get vegan marshmallows most definitely but assume they'd maybe be cost prohibitive for catering a big dinner.

[Des Wigwam]

Have got my days all out this week so only now just sitting down to watch a load of people who think grubbing about in mud of oysters is "'mazin'". From the trailer I thought they'd been sent out with Chinese cockle pickers.

Just been reminded in last week's that when they went into the cave Amit said "I feel like Indian-a ... Jones Indian Jones" - laughed heartily as he'd obvs been told by a production assitant "but like this movie this isn't it? Indiana Jones. Indiana Jones eh? Indiana. 'magnie if you said it was like Indian Jones. Well, better get on, Indy. Yea? Indiana Jones yea? Like the film".

What reminded me was a weird edit where Gordo arrives like Bonnie Prince Charlie / Del Trotter at the helm of a boat and says something about "The early bird, yea." then there's too much pause and a sound drop and he adds "catches the worm".

Anyway, the oyster lad has just described the oyster as creamy whilst agreeing it's punchy. But just move on. Oysters are horrible and cruel unless they're deep fried or they're a vector for gallons of Sancerre.

[bgmnts]

I found it odd that a vegan (is the Italian woman vegan?) would be alright willingly involving themselves in the industrialised process of oyster killing.

[Des Wigwam]

Yes - supposedly. although she has quite happily taken part in all of the challenges and they've all involved dairy or dead animals. I guess you have to compromise or just abandon your principles to get ahead. Successful business people are supposedly psychos (although I think that's a nice way of saying selfish pricks and probably narcissists).

[Blue Jam]

Oysters are vegan.

[Des Wigwam]

Oysters are vegan.

Fair enough. I wonder where I got the notion they're cruel from. Maybe I was thinking of lobsters.

Sadly this is the internet so I can't back down so I will stand by the fact that they're horrible and also point out she was happy to hack at a fish so badly it probably died twice.