Top most hideous objects of decoration (LIST THREAD)

[thenoise]

Bathrooms are a minefield. I've no idea what constitutes acceptable bathroom decor. Furry loo seat covers? Razor blade loo seats? Wicker mats? Plastic mats? Map of the world shower curtains? Clouds or stars on the ceiling? Daily Mail cartoons? Humorous signs about not peeing on stuff? Ducks? Your children's more enigmatic sculpture? Novelty loo brushes? 10x magnifying mirrors? Coloured toilets? Baths with legs? Recessed baths? Wet rooms? Air fresheners that would cleanse the stench of 10 Downing St? Family portraits? Bookshelves? Mould?

None of the above.

Minimalism in bathrooms makes sense compared to the rest of the house because the more clutter there is in there the less thoroughly it is being cleaned. So its all white and wipe clean, with a nice coloured towel if you are lucky.

[thenoise]

This sort of pish is all over the highlands and beyond. They're bloody everywhere.

Plastering your living room with allusions to nationalism - whether it's red London buses, Highland "coos" or worse -is S4Cs of the highest order.

[Blue Jam]

I nominate: the brick wall wallpaper. My aunt and uncle had this stuff in the 80s. Even as a young child (28 etc), I was disgusted.

Fake bookcase wallpaper is worse. Any pub that has that is best avoided.

[Blue Jam]

what about those collectable kitsch cows that had themed parody artwork painted on them

i remember walking past a shop window with loads of them whenever we were on the way back from the pub and gawping at the idea of someone who'd have about a dozen of them all lined up on a shelf

I recommend that you never visit Manchester.

[Gurke and Hare]

Some bits I saw in top peak deso shop The Range:





This isn't really an objectof decoration but it's hideous

[Blue Jam]

Bathrooms are a minefield. I've no idea what constitutes acceptable bathroom decor. Furry loo seat covers? Razor blade loo seats? Wicker mats? Plastic mats? Map of the world shower curtains? Clouds or stars on the ceiling? Daily Mail cartoons? Humorous signs about not peeing on stuff? Ducks? Your children's more enigmatic sculpture? Novelty loo brushes? 10x magnifying mirrors? Coloured toilets? Baths with legs? Recessed baths? Wet rooms? Air fresheners that would cleanse the stench of 10 Downing St? Family portraits? Bookshelves? Mould?

I used to decorate my bathroom with those pointless wallcharts that came with the Guardian and the Independent. I deliberately chose the crappest ones, think I had "Apples" (I'm Not Racist But they all look the same) and "Clouds". I also had a Lucozade Pee Chart from when I worked at a gym.

This was about 15 years ago and I have grown up a bit since then.

[Blue Jam]

Also Airbnb are a shower of bastards. Never stayed in one and never will.

[Sebastian Cobb]

Fake bookcase wallpaper is worse. Any pub that has that is best avoided.

Pub round the corner from me has this but it's really the least of its sins; it also has aformentioned colonial decoration, but perhaps worse what I can describe as bad garden centre lighting... there's stuff like old streetlight/carraige lights with what would've probably been better with neon bulbs but now has candle-effect leds, but also some quite horrific 'bunch of grape' internally lit plastic lightsets that have a sunbleached-pissy colour that I'm absolutely perplexed as to how they got indoors.

Whole place is a head-scratcher tbh... probably started out as a planned 'scheme pub' but all wrong, inside it looks like it was meant to be a harvester but they have no kitchen and never served food.

[Clownbaby]

I work at Dunelm and the sheer truckload of "It's Gin O'clock!" hanging plaques which disintegrate at the glue when you touch them but cost about £7 we got delivered in for a while was grim. Always the most irritating customers bought them an all

I saw mention of Air BnBs earlier on - the house next to me was empty for fucking ages and then a local interior designer was absolutely kitting it out for months and months. I didn't get it because our house is a terrace house in a kind of crap area but the sheer amount of workmen going in was fucking ridiculous. I looked up her Facebook page out of curiosity because I was sick of the sight of her van parked directly outside my house and her coming in and out and it just still looked exactly like the layout of my house but very white and a few The Range accents/cheeky bit of metallic wallpaper. But nothing that justified the 6am INTENSE DRILLING AND GRINDING.

 I remember seeing her a lot at my work looking at the bathroom stuff. So I just know the place is a very white house with a lot of plaques and ambient glitter canvases and that. That's fine in itself, but I can't be arsed with the random strangers hovering around

[The Mollusk]

Quirky doormats.

Picture of Darth Vader and "welcome to the dark side" 😂

"Not you again!" 😂

"Come back when you have wine" 😂

"HOLD THE DOOR" (Game of Thrones typeface) 😂

"Please hide all packages from husband" 😂

[Blue Jam]

Two flats near mine have astroturf lawns. There's something a bit creepy about dead, fake grass in too bright a shade of green trying to pass itself of as an entire lawn. it makes my skin crawl to look at it, and I sure as hell wouldn't want to walk barefoot on it.

Also as someone here once pointed out, astroturf needs regular cleaning with a pressure washer, so it's not even low-maintenence. And if you fell on it you'd probably get a nasty friction burn, so it's not even child-safe. What is point?

[bgmnts]

Quirky doormats.

Picture of Darth Vader and "welcome to the dark side" 😂

"Not you again!" 😂

"Come back when you have wine" 😂

"HOLD THE DOOR" (Game of Thrones typeface) 😂

"Please hide all packages from husband" 😂

I'm sure this is a hideous object/shit quirky doormat but I unashamedly want this:

[idunnosomename]

A weird thing ive noticed in peoples front rooms as i walk the evening streets like a dickensian orphan is enormous clock faces that take up the best part of a wall.

Here however is a glorious document of the tat of a generation thats dying off and thus going in landfill

[dissolute ocelot]

I'm sure this is a hideous object/shit quirky doormat but I unashamedly want this:

I'd like a novelty doormat but I'd worry it would be stolen. Someone set fire to my last (plain) mat.

[The Mollusk]

A weird thing ive noticed in peoples front rooms as i walk the evening streets like a dickensian orphan is enormous clock faces that take up the best part of a wall.

Haha, yeah, I've seen ones that are just the central mechanism with big long hands and then the numbers are all decal stickers on the wall.

Worst offender has been where all the numbers were different typefaces and formats like FOUR, 10, VI etc. Monstrous.

Fake edit: fucking hell

[bgmnts]

"What's the time?"

"Almost wedding past that time I shit myself at alton towers."

[Jasha]

Anyone else just monitoring this thread for when something in your own house comes up?

Fluffy cushion covers

It's okay mine are furry

[Sebastian Cobb]

"What's the time?"

"Almost wedding past that time I shit myself at alton towers."

From a now defunct forum I used to go on:

The one & only time I shit myself was in Hong Kong.

Unfortunately for me I was stuck on a 40 min cable car just as my worst case of food poisoning kicked in.

Thankfully I had a backpack.

I wasn't so grateful for the 'theme park' like camera set up.


Thankfully for me, the main focus point as the cable car descends is straight ahead. That being an epic view of planes arriving & taking off. Therefore no attention was on me @ the back until the noise of release followed by the smell, god the smell. 35+ degree heat with 100% humidity, with only a 'shitty' little vent @ the top of the cable car for fresh air. You can only imagine!

It was these conditions (heat & humidity) that made the experience all the more heavy! If you've ever been in the situation where 'you just gotta go' ... Think about that feeling, with this kind of heat & no form of escape. I've never sweated like that before in my life - fucking ridiculous!!

To top it all off, you can just about tell that I'm wearing surf board shorts which have absolutely no inner lining. So it was the bag or the cable car floor - I feel I made the right call.

So when the locals realised what the fuck was going on, I can only presume their reaction was somewhat similar to when they experienced their very first SARS outbreak. I don't recall much being said but I've never seen an Asian man reach for a hanky that quick before. Can you imagine their conversation round the dinner table that evening?!

[Ferris]

A weird thing ive noticed in peoples front rooms as i walk the evening streets like a dickensian orphan is enormous clock faces that take up the best part of a wall.

Here however is a glorious document of the tat of a generation thats dying off and thus going in landfill

Lovely load of tat there.

An old question, but why has Ron set up his living room with the telly high up on a wall at a mad angle? It's the setup of a dentist's waiting room.

[Pimhole]

Anyone else just monitoring this thread for when something in your own house comes up?

It has happened.

I also have those horrible beige vertical blinds that make everyone's front room look like a solicitor's waiting room. They were here when I moved in and I've been too cheap and lazy to replace them.

[TrenterPercenter]

An old question, but why has Ron set up his living room with the telly high up on a wall at a mad angle? It's the setup of a dentist's waiting room.

Obviously for laying on his back wanking purposes.  Poor Ann has been suffering from headaches for years because of this prone masturbator, which is in turn part of the Ron feeling the horn, Ann not being in the mood, Hayward porn triangle.

[idunnosomename]

It's the english thing of treating your tv as a piece of furniture but rather than so people can see it. I remember watching tc askew at my grandparents. It only got worse with LCD wall mountings. A lot of houses hang them like a picture, far too high for sitting eye level

[The Mollusk]

That Bart Simpson on the shelf has seen some shit.

[kalowski]

An old question, but why has Ron set up his living room with the telly high up on a wall at a mad angle? It's the setup of a dentist's waiting room.

You know why. Lay on his back, arching up for the final strokes as he scams another pornographic pay per view from Virgin. I bet he had a wanking mat.


Allegedly. (Are they still with us?)

[Sebastian Cobb]

I've long wondered if that flat is actually where they live or a stage flat for the purposes of taking pictures by the papers. There's some hints (like the bunch of keys in the door) that make me wonder if it's a set-up but it's all too insubstantial for me to say one way or another. In fact a lot it is little more than a fleeting hunch.

[holdover]

This sort of pish is all over the highlands and beyond. They're bloody everywhere.

https://www.stevenbrownart.co.uk/collections/jubilee-lizzie-mccoo/products/jubilee-lizzie-mccoo-wall-art-canvas-prints-colourful-highland-cow

Made the mistake of slagging "those ugly fucking colourful highland cow paintings" with some randoms at a pub in Kingussie. Of course it turned out they had two at home.

When I got back to work after my holiday I told this to a colleague who also informed me he had one in his living room. They're everywhere!

[Ferris]

I've long wondered if that flat is actually where they live or a stage flat for the purposes of taking pictures by the papers. There's some hints (like the bunch of keys in the door) that make me wonder if it's a set-up but it's all too insubstantial for me to say one way or another. In fact a lot it is little more than a fleeting hunch.

The tat collection and miasma of despair says "real dwelling" for me Clive.

[Video Game Fan 2000]

But oranges and grapes?

[Ferris]

Yeah you get them (and apples too) to class up the place because those nice men from the Mirror are coming over to take photos.

Ron wasn't to know it was gonna be a stitch up.

Sorry to have diverted the thread with Ron-chat. My apologies.

[Video Game Fan 2000]

the man never ate a grape in his life