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Lines of comedy that have inexplicably sat in your subconscious ever since

Started by Replies From View, June 25, 2022, 12:17:13 PM

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Stigdu

Quote from: Andy147 on June 25, 2022, 05:47:53 PMHistory Today compilation. Rob Newman reading the book is at about 5:40.

Thank you so much! Got them the wrong way around, but most amusing nonetheless. :)


McDead

Quote from: Better Midlands on June 25, 2022, 02:52:03 PMStand up bit from the 90's (I can't remember who) about pissing on a piece of shit stuck to the inside of the toilet bowl until it dislodged when they were a guest at someone's house - it ended with the stand up saying to himself "You're welcome".

I say to myself You're welcome" everytime I get the opportunity to do this.

Edit - maybe an Australian comedian from around then?

This feels very Frank Skinner to me. Both the filthy subject matter, and the unexpected display of gentility.


Cold Meat Platter

Quote from: Better Midlands on June 25, 2022, 02:52:03 PMStand up bit from the 90's (I can't remember who) about pissing on a piece of shit stuck to the inside of the toilet bowl until it dislodged when they were a guest at someone's house - it ended with the stand up saying to himself "You're welcome".

I say to myself You're welcome" everytime I get the opportunity to do this.

Edit - maybe an Australian comedian from around then?

Sounds a bit Sean Lock-ish

markburgle

Pauline's withering "Per-thetic" from LOG, delivered - I think - to Mickey when she's dissuading him from his fireman interview. Say it to myself whenever anything is below expectations.

Cold Meat Platter

Quote from: markburgle on June 25, 2022, 11:10:50 PMPauline's withering "Per-thetic" from LOG, delivered - I think - to Mickey when she's dissuading him from his fireman interview. Say it to myself whenever anything is below expectations.

Any time the word egregious crops up...

Jerzy Bondov

Quote from: dontpaintyourteeth on June 25, 2022, 01:44:18 PMManny saying "fell off my chair to some extent" in Black Books seems to have stuck around enough in my brain for two decades for me to use it for any mishap, big or small. ie "dropped my pen to some extent."
This is my one too. I say it all the time.

Fr.Bigley


Quote from: Better Midlands on June 25, 2022, 02:52:03 PMStand up bit from the 90's (I can't remember who) about pissing on a piece of shit stuck to the inside of the toilet bowl until it dislodged when they were a guest at someone's house - it ended with the stand up saying to himself "You're welcome".

I say to myself You're welcome" everytime I get the opportunity to do this.

Edit - maybe an Australian comedian from around then?

Stewart Lee does this bit in his 90's comedian show. Its part of the 'vomiting into the gaping anus of Christ' routine.

Whether he came up with it or was paying an homage to something that came before it (stole it) I don't know.

Also I suppose it's taken as read that about a million different things from nineties Simpsons episodes are forever just beneath the surface. But they are. Forever holding in the temptation to say "who else would like a bite of banality?" when trying something someone has cooked, for example.

notjosh

Whenever anyone says anything about Seattle I have to stop myself from exclaiming with indignation that "it rains nine months of the year in Seattle!".

Key

Quote from: Bobloblawslawbomb on June 26, 2022, 09:09:32 AMStewart Lee does this bit in his 90's comedian show. Its part of the 'vomiting into the gaping anus of Christ' routine.

Whether he came up with it or was paying an homage to something that came before it (stole it) I don't know.

I'm pretty sure I've seen him do that joke and credit it to Simon Munnery.

Jittlebags

Corporal Jones referring to chitterlings as secret parts of pigs.

- What have you got for us, Corporal?
- Two chops and a quarter pound of chitterlings.

Two chops and a quarter pound of chitterlings.
What are chitterlings?

- It's the secret part of a pig, sir.
- Really?

A worthy prize, indeed.

paddy72

Whenever I see or hear the word Stranraer, my mind instantly goes 'Stranraer?! In Scotland?', a la an incredulous/exasperated Brian Potter.

imitationleather


Captain Z

I can't see Stormzy without calling him Bombzy, the fictional rapper in Pls Like.

Gurke and Hare

I've got Glastonbury on the TV in the background, and when Diana Ross just started singing Stop in the Name of Love I looked up at the screen expecting to see Mr Elephant Head.



bushwick

"WHAT...IS A GAY?"

"Terrified of vomiting vomiting vomiting"

"They're jewels, Betty"

"He's a CHIIIIIIIIIIILD MOLESTER!"


Yussef Dent

Me... anywhere near a river.

"Don't you wish the river was hot like soup. Don't you wish the river was hot like soup."

https://youtu.be/Za-Zi71BC-g?t=176

Also whenever I shave my nether regions, "there really is nothing like a shorn scrotum, it's breath-taking, I suggest you try it."

turnstyle



Ferris

"Oh 'piss yourself, stop pissing yourself' it's not that easy, Mark!

It's kind of lyrical. Similarly from the League of Gentlemen:

"This way, that way; some of it barely legal."

Gulftastic

If I hear 'Aberdeen' in my mind I'm saying 'Aber-bloody-Deen' because of the original Ab Fab sketch on the French and Saunders show.

The Culture Bunker

When something goes awry, I have been known to say (in a mock aggressive tone) "someone's going to pay for this - and it's not going to be me!" a la Vic Reeves when he found out Uncle Peter had beaten him to the gig of presenting Have I Got News For You.

Alas, I do not follow up by donning a WWII German army helt and destroying a china shop with a M60 machine gun.

non capisco

Loads of bits from Serafinowicz and Popper's 'Markets Of Britain' but especially "What's this? A snake?....I dunno."

Captain Z

Oh, that reminds me of one of mine:

"What are birds? We just don't know"