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March 29, 2024, 02:20:50 PM

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Cricket 2022: The Thuglife Era (Stokes, Woakes, Foakes, and plenty of chokes)

Started by sevendaughters, June 04, 2022, 05:42:44 PM

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shoulders

Bairstow the most uneven career I can remember.

Wow, most centuries at number 5 in a calendar year overtaking Michael Clarke!

shoulders

ALSO:

FUCK OFF KOHLI AND EAT MILES OF DOG SHIT YOU GRAVEBOUND CUNT

Cuellar


iamcoop

This will be an amazing win but again it feels like it'll be a result where we've still not really learnt anything.

I know Bairstow and Root are good.

Maybe I am moaning too much but it just feels like we've chanced our arm again and it's come off, without a reliable, solid base beneath the fireworks.

I don't feel safe and secure I feel the opposite. Scared and alone.

Anyway lololol well done and fuck off ratboy. This has been pants down time this morning.

sevendaughters



dontpaintyourteeth

gonna get massively found out at some point but fair play, it worked again


Thursday



shoulders

To be fair we didn't know Bairstow was good, he was steaming fucking crap for about 6 years and had a top score of 50 in about 20 tests before his Ashes century.

I had no idea he was going to do any of this, although he looked in good touch before the NZ series.

He has now surpassed Mike Gatting in terms of centuries, runs and batting average which puts his dire record prior to this in perspective.

Bairstow has had a year and a half of sublime cricket in a 10 year career, and the filling to that sandwich was muck.

After that unbeaten century Root's average is touching 51. Still the dreariest interviewee but canny batsman.

gilbertharding


poo

Let's see how Bazball goes Down Under before we start shoving fingers up the Englanders' arses and tugging them off into our open mouths.

Crenners

No thanks. There's no enjoyment at the end of the road whatever happens, the best bit is right now, the feeling of hoping and believing for even more to come.


shoulders

Bumrah made 125 runs in the India v England series.

Guy averaged 4 runs per innings until then. Had England bowled to his average it would have taken Bumrah at least 31 tests to amass those runs, more than nearly any India player has ever played versus England.

Crenners

For me, sport is about moments and periods rather than careers or endurance or averages. I'll remember this month of Bairstow more than I can remember a single run or moment of Cook's career. That's partly because I love mercurial characters and I don't have enough respect for good, solid values or consistency.

I love the likes of Buttler and Archer for the heights they occasionally offer in glimpses, not because you can rely on them. Archer's forty-five minutes of brain music against Smiffy and chums is one of the greatest things I've ever seen as an England supporter. Just the constant threat of destruction and death. This is the joy of sport.

shoulders


shoulders

To be fair Cook hit 750 runs in an away Ashes series and completely and utterly pummelled some of the world's biggest cunts into the abyss in a run of innings that has parallels with almost mystical performances of the 30s and 50s.

More important because we hadn't done it since 1986 and haven't won a test against Australia down under ever since.

It felt even at the time like you were watching something that wasn't going to be repeated in a generation.



shoulders

Some more eye-catching Crawley stats:

Average in games we lost the toss: 16.4

Average where we lost the toss and were asked to bat: 7.1

Average in wins: 18
Average in losses: 18
Average in draws: 47.8

Further evidence he just can't hack it when it's a crucial moment or a difficult pitch.

It keeps coming.

His average in the 2nd match of a series (the biggest sample size of all) is 12.35!!

In 27 of 46 innings he has been out for less than 13 runs.

Thursday

Quote from: shoulders on July 05, 2022, 01:14:02 PMTo be fair we didn't know Bairstow was good, he was steaming fucking crap for about 6 years and had a top score of 50 in about 20 tests before his Ashes century.

I had no idea he was going to do any of this, although he looked in good touch before the NZ series.



Yes it would have been nice if he'd done this years ago on some of the dozens of occasions it was needed.

sevendaughters

Cook's eerie run in 10/11 my favourite patch of English batting. Check the strike rate for each knock where he got a score.

235* - SR 55
145 - SR 55
82 - SR 54
189 - SR 55

guy was locked in tight all through the series.

iamcoop

Quote from: shoulders on July 05, 2022, 01:46:39 PMTo be fair Cook hit 750 runs in an away Ashes series and completely and utterly pummelled some of the world's biggest cunts into the abyss in a run of innings that has parallels with almost mystical performances of the 30s and 50s.

More important because we hadn't done it since 1986 and haven't won a test against Australia down under ever since.

It felt even at the time like you were watching something that wasn't going to be repeated in a generation.




Have to agree, Cook's absolutely beasting of Aus during that series is probably my lifetime enduring cricket memory, the guy was a fucking run machine.

Surely Kohli can't be far off having his own kids taken off him and put into care by now? One can only assume he's got some sort of Bill Wyman-esq deal with the police where they acknowledge he's a danger to minors but he's so famous they can't really be bothered to do anything about it.

shoulders

QuoteCrawley's Average where we lost the toss and were asked to bat: 7.1

For juxtaposition, Ben Stokes average in this situation is 46.

🥁

Crenners

Just watching highlights of yesterday again and loving Potts bouncing it all over Thakur's skull. Always a beautiful sight. Great entertainment.

gilbertharding

Quote from: iamcoop on July 05, 2022, 02:15:57 PMSurely Kohli can't be far off having his own kids taken off him and put into care by now? One can only assume he's got some sort of Bill Wyman-esq deal with the police where they acknowledge he's a danger to minors but he's so famous they can't really be bothered to do anything about it.

*whispers* We've agreed not to do that thing anymore.

sevendaughters

ahhh hubris



Bairstow has more runs in the last 4 games than Kohli does in the last 18 months

shoulders

If you want all joy and pleasure sucked out of the occasion then read Stephan Shelmit's dire toadying homily. Such a smug fucking hack he makes Phil Mcnulty look like Ed Murrow.

Sprinkled with embellishments that fit the narrative, natch...

Quote"The Ollie Pope at number three experiment has largely worked, while Alex Lees is growing into an intimidating figure at the top of the order.

After public backing from Stokes before the Edgbaston Test, Zak Crawley went from batting like Michael McIntyre to Michael Vaughan."


It isn't much better on cricinfo....

QuoteHands up - who thought Root, manner born, FEC, high elbow, would ever refer to himself as a rockstar? But here he is, part of the gang, joining in with all the unserious bits around the very serious bits. There in the house party, where they're all having the best times, even if he's making sure the empties are going into the recycling on the way.

Maybe when he did a mic drop with his bat in a one day international?

Sports journalism at its worst.

shoulders

Unexpected laugh at the end.

QuoteBazball
What exactly is Bazball?

When a fielder sledges you and you sledge them back with runs. That's Bazball. When you are so intent on showing respect to the opposition's bowlers you walk down the track, clear your front leg, and respect them repeatedly into the sightscreen. That's Bazball. When an old lady needs help crossing the street, but instead of walking her across you fire her from a cannon all the way into her house. Definitely Bazball.