New posters intro thread

[The Mollusk]

Great to have you back Pingers!

[Paul Calf]

Yeah, I liked Pingers. Nice to see you back.

[Crenners]

Never rated Pingers personally but he seems to have really got his life on track with this new username so I embrace the guy with open arms. Everyone deserves a second chance.

[The Mollusk]

Yeah I am glad he's been able to put his druggy username past behind him and start a ... oh.

[madhair60]

I still really like that video you did on Ashens half a decade ago Madhair

aw cheers. i hope you remain alive.

[Vodkafone]

Well, thank you very much everyone. I'm honestly amazed that anyone even remembered me, let alone had anything good to say. I've got my swirly avatar back on for Ferris - it's a heyiya-if, a central symbol of the culture in my favourite book, Always Coming Home by Ursula LeGuin. I used to have one that was a heyiya-if made up of heyiya-ifs, but that got taken offline.

[phantom_power]

I bumped into Pingers at a charity do once and he was phimotic and VERY bald

[TrenterPercenter]

Well, thank you very much everyone. I'm honestly amazed that anyone even remembered me, let alone had anything good to say. I've got my swirly avatar back on for Ferris - it's a heyiya-if, a central symbol of the culture in my favourite book, Always Coming Home by Ursula LeGuin. I used to have one that was a heyiya-if made up of heyiya-ifs, but that got taken offline.

I remember you Pingers, but do you remember me? You've never even seen our son.....

[Elderly Sumo Prophecy]

Well, thank you very much everyone. I'm honestly amazed that anyone even remembered me, let alone had anything good to say. I've got my swirly avatar back on for Ferris - it's a heyiya-if, a central symbol of the culture in my favourite book, Always Coming Home by Ursula LeGuin. I used to have one that was a heyiya-if made up of heyiya-ifs, but that got taken offline.

heyiya-if mate

[Vodkafone]

I remember you Pingers, but do you remember me? You've never even seen our son.....

I've been lurking watching lurking all this time

[Terence Bowl]

My username is a clever contraction of my real name, Terrence B. Owl.

Will that do?

[shoulders]

No, it won't!

[Terence Bowl]

Ok I've commissioned Sue Gray to do one of her reports on me. Shouldn't take more than a few weeks as I hear she's gotten better at typing since the last one. 

[pancreas]

Why don't you spare us the intermission and tell us what it will say.

For example: will it feature you trying to pass off bodily fluids as parsnip velouté?

Are there any other examples?

[Terence Bowl]

Apologies for the tardy response, I've spend most of the weekend in hospital not having another heart attack. After many tests it turns out that at the moment I'm mysteriously healthy for a big fat bastard who reacts to all vegetables the way vampires react to garlic (this may or may not answer your parsnips query).

Unfortunately I was in the ward that's either directly above or below the room with the big machine that saves lives by blocking all wifi and mobile signals, so no internet for me.

Also, you'll all have to wait for Sue Gray (you should know this by now).

[Paul Calf]

Ahh, they put you in the Faraday cage.

They only do that with the special cases.

[pancreas]

Also, you'll all have to wait for Sue Gray (you should know this by now).

Sounds like you might be dead before that happens. And then what.

[shoulders]

Bring out more new posters for our delectation

[Berries]

First time caller etc. Found C and B after a mushy pea centric orgy here in New Zealand. Originally from Nottingham, been in NZ 25 years with a bit of a walkabout in-between including stints on Pontins holiday camps on the south coast in the late 80's and trying to learn the local lingo living in Aberdeen.

Pissed myself laughing at the mushy pea thread and then fell down the rabbit hole. There is something about UK humour that I miss over here. The fact that some of you find Taskmaster NZ funny is however a bit of a concern. As always, I blame Thatcher.

My daytime job sucks arse but I do part time work for the Red Cross in a number of third world countries. Hoping that will score me a trip back to old Blighty fairly soon.

Love you long time.

[Elderly Sumo Prophecy]

Hello. How big is penus please?

[Berries]

A good 28.53 on the Beaufort scale.

[Elderly Sumo Prophecy]

Right, you're in.

[Mobius]

I didn't even know we had a mushy pea thread!

[Berries]

Right, you're in.

Can you say that again but in your mums voice?

[Elderly Sumo Prophecy]

Certainly. Ahem.

"Right, you're in"

[TrenterPercenter]

Do they even have mushy peas abroad?

[Elderly Sumo Prophecy]

You know what they call mushy peas in France?

Le mouche.

[Berries]

Do they even have mushy peas abroad?

Turns out you can get them by the ton here. The problem is when you buy the necessary amount of bicarbonate of soda to do a tons worth of mushy peas alarm bells start ringing at Langley and suddenly your phone gets tapped.

And of course you need a fucking huge pot.
https://www.midlandsnz.com/our-products/seed/marrowfat-peas

[Elderly Sumo Prophecy]

Can you even make a bomb with bicarb? It seems pretty harmless.

[Berries]

You never made a volcano as a kid with bicarb and vinegar?

Two words - Pompeii.