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Park bench plaques

Started by shoulders, July 04, 2022, 02:33:07 PM

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Mavis Sledge


'Don't sit on me you fucking paedophile'


Clunge Whippleberry


'Stop wanking and get back to work!
I don't know, in my day the police very rarely masturbated in public places.'

Mr Farenheit

Help, I'm a prisoner in the engraving factory

Replies From View

plaques where you assume it's a typo when you sit down but nope, you do indeed contract the plague





'Rest in peace, sweet prince. Thy tides shall never know thee'


Alreet lads, it's me, the bench, have a Stella and sit thesen darn

dissolute ocelot

Brush your bench or you'll end up like me.


Park bench, where the fogies dwell,
where the pigeons live and they do live well.

Elderly Sumo Prophecy

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Brush your teeth, or like me you'll end up transformed into a bench and spending the rest of your life being sharted on by pensioners.


Don't you dare park your flabby arse cheeks on me!

dissolute ocelot

In Memory of Thomas Spearman, who shat on this bench when it was still dedicated to his wife.

jenna appleseed

She didn't see a smile and never dog.


For Bill, who hated this park and everyone in it, which is why we sacrificed him and buried his bones beneath the bench 'pon which your arse now rests. All praise the park.


Maggie Prestwich


'Malign aunt'

Elderly Sumo Prophecy

This bench

Has been up my arse

Ray Travez

Doris-Rose Duckshaft 1932-2007

Just gave up and died right here, in the middle of this industrial estate

Ray Travez

Billiam Bogstard 1912-2001

Pecked to death by crows

Ray Travez

Iris Catfairy 1940-1979

A rose without a thorn, or indeed any petals


If you think this bench is dirty, you should meet the missus! She is a second-hand futon.

Replies From View

Quote from: dissolute ocelot on July 04, 2022, 11:44:42 PMIn Memory of Thomas Spearman, who shat on this bench when it was still dedicated to his wife.

Minty fresh though