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March 29, 2024, 09:13:21 AM

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My mail-order Uncle Albert impersonator is piss-poor and disappointing

Started by itsfredtitmus, January 20, 2022, 02:21:50 AM

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itsfredtitmus

Put fuck all effort into replicating his polar bear white, prickly minge fibre of a beard! it was all human-like and horrid! I'm not getting anuva one

Glebe


itsfredtitmus

the prickly minge fibres extracted from Uncle Albert's pubic area keeps my pillow firm and plump

Glebe

He also erroneously says "Durin' that war." There's no care put into mail-order comedy uncles anymore, all they care about is a quick buck.

Asked him to make me a roast dinner and it was perfectly edible. Asked him what the fuck's going on and he's all "sorry, san, I got the jars mixed up". He's only gone and put bleedin' Bisto in the gravy. And now my Michael Jayston lookalike is wolfing it down instead of politely trying to get out of eating it. Another ruined dinner.

Cuellar

Well my mail-order Uncle is performing very well, so far. Very happy with it.

Glebe


"Just lookin' through me old box. See that? That's where I was born. Alcohol Street, down by the aerodrome."

"I asked him to get me Burger King and he comes back with McDonald's!"

Mate, it's not even the right character.


Glebe

Quote from: Huxleys Babkins on January 20, 2022, 06:24:15 PM"I asked him to get me Burger King and he comes back with McDonald's!"

Mate, it's not even the right character.

"Get me an Emperor's burger!"

Where's the receipt, this is going back!

Glebe

Just ordered a Boycie impersonator. Hope it's not as shoddy as that Albert!


itsfredtitmus

Quote from: Glebe on January 20, 2022, 10:59:34 PM"Get me an Emperor's burger!"

Where's the receipt, this is going back!
CHEESEBURGER? i dont want a cheeseburger! I want an emperor one, del, you dodgy-dealer-cheeky chappy skiv! :) not a cheeseburger

itsfredtitmus

Quote from: Fambo Number Mive on January 20, 2022, 09:25:09 PMMine plays the piano far too well.
My Albert prozzie had a cock that was a bit ~too~ big, fuck all like the cock I saw on Only Fools- Albert's dick was never that big! He didn't fuck me the exactly like the Albert (Buster) would! No pube, minge beard either :( I was left wanting more

Glebe

Quote from: itsfredtitmus on January 21, 2022, 11:58:00 PMtruly a shite one

Just got it, it's actually quite decent for the price! Calls out for "Maarleeene?!" a bit too much though, the real Boycie rationed his wife-shouts.