Nicknames for kids at your school

[badaids]

Exactly. Graham Linehan and Gordon Sumner can just fuck off.

Yes. And Paul Hewson.

[Jerzy Bondov]

I can only remember 'Chunky'

[badaids]

There was a girl at school nicknamed Toad.

Because she allegedly did a sex with a boy in a tree (for some reason we thought toads mated in trees).

When it turned out the boy was one of the French exchange pupils, someone took the time look up toad in the French dictionary, hence 'crapaud', much to everyone's hilarity.

Then someone added 'le' in front for extra notoriety and polish.

To her credit she was dead brassy and totally owned the moniker as a badge of honour, and of course we were all dead jealous of AND scared of her for having actually done it.

[Jockice]

There were three lads three years below me who had a graffiti campaign in our city always using their nicknames in the same order.They were even featured in an article in the local paper.

I mentioned them on here and a couple of years later my post appeared on our ex-pupils' Facebook forum. I was horrified. Not that I'm scared of anyone but I have posted certain things  on here that aren't public knowledge and it would have been easy for anyone to pick up on my username and put two and two together. Luckily nobody seemed to notice. Phew!

[shiftwork2]

I attended a Liverpool Comprehensive so nicknames were simply the first bit of your surname with an O added on the end.  Simple but there were several Robbos and that's where the system fell down quite frankly.

[Bad Ambassador]

I don't recall any amusing nicknames, but there certainly were a few characters at my boarding school.

One boy, a notorious bullshitter and chainsmoker, insisted that he had had enough of the school and would be running away. Sure, we said, just to get some peace. Next morning, we in his dorm woke up to find his bed empty. The next day, his parents came to collect his things. We never saw or heard from him again.

Another kid, a nasty little bully, was later convicted of possessing category A nonce materials.

Another slept through a 3am fire drill.

Another, who claimed to be American and had a strange transatlantic accent that made him sound like Loyd Grossman crossed with Zippy, was also a mean and spiteful little twat, who wore Harley Davidson deoderant that smelled like someone had vomited over him. He left rather abruptly, and rumour spread a few months later that he had apparently been diagnosed with leukemia, which didn't upset anyone especially.

[Jockice]

There was a girl at school nicknamed Toad.

Because she allegedly did a sex with a boy in a tree (for some reason we thought toads mated in trees).

When it turned out the boy was one of the French exchange pupils, someone took the time look up toad in the French dictionary, hence 'crapaud', much to everyone's hilarity.

Then someone added 'le' in front for extra notoriety and polish.

To her credit she was dead brassy and totally owned the moniker as a badge of honour, and of course we were all dead jealous of AND scared of her for having actually done it.

I can't remember any girls at my place having derogatory nicknames, or indeed any nicknames at all apart from a couple with derivations of their names. Surely there must have been some but I just can't think of any. There was a girl called Carmel who I used to call Toffee Nose cos she seemed a bit snobbish, but I think that was just me trying to be funny. And unsurprisingly failing.

[shiftwork2]

There were a couple of unique ones I remember.  Pauline Mooney was obviously and devastatingly Pull A Moony, and this was around the time moonies were the big thing.

[Brundle-Fly]

Some I can remember from my comprehensive secondary school, 1977-83

Scab- abbreviation of his Maltese name, Sciberras, and he was spotty. He's now a  film extra.
Stinger - He was small like a bee, became a jockey.
Oily Rag - Was into motor mechanics, became a tyre fitter.
Rusting Bucket - Rhyme. His real name was Justin Luckett. Runs a local offy.
Dark Egg - Rhyme. His real name was Mark Clegg. Got sectioned and remains in care.
Pebbles - He had these thick long sighted lenses in his NHS glasses that made his eyes look like a shark's. Proper hard nut. Dresses like a Peaky Blinder now.
Solly - A play on his surname, Sorrell. Not Jewish. Now runs a local gun shop.
Parsnip - A play on his surname, Posnit. Not a root vegetable. Had an affair with our music teacher when he was fifteen. They're still married.
Draculass - A gorgeous studious Goth 6th former girl named after a character from Monster Fun comic. Never once did anyone see her without her monochrome slap.Became a librarian. Now, lives with a man a lot older than her in a castle in a remote part of Scotland.
Plug- An affable, but pug ugly lad with buck teeth named after a character from Beano comic. Lost his virginity before most lads in our school tho'.
Celery Legs - Fuck knows.

[badaids]

Celery Legs - Fuck knows.

Well can you ask him about it?

[shoulders]

Had a nickname myself but it'd give away my surname.

Holocausderson

[ErnestTakadichi]

The four toughest kids in my class got together and named themselves after the four ninja turtles.

Fair enough. But what always sticks in my mind was that at some point, "Leonardo" disgraced himself in some manner, so at break time a full trial was held (with witness testimony!) to decide whether he was worthy of keeping the ninja turtle nickname. Turns out he wasn't, so the name was passed to someone else.

[Brundle-Fly]

Well can you ask him about it?

It was over forty years ago. We lost touch. I vaguely remember the nickname had  something to do with him having to wear a green lycra leotard for the school production of Godspell. The colour in the material had faded somewhat, giving the illusion his long legs were like sticks of celery. I heard he moved to Brighton.

[Jockice]

The story of Shrek 2 is amazing, just because he was Shrek's younger brother, later expanded to the acronym.

I've written a short play - on soon in Sheffield fans - featuring three blokes from the same year at school all called Mark and nicknamed Mark One, Mark Two and Mark Three. I made it up though. There was nobody in my year called Mark.

[Jockice]

Fair enough. But what always sticks in my mind was that at some point, "Leonardo" disgraced himself in some manner, so at break time a full trial was held (with witness testimony!) to decide whether he was worthy of keeping the ninja turtle nickname. Turns out he wasn't, so the name was passed to someone else.

I've been friends since my teens - we used to meet while doing rival paper rounds - with a guy nicknamed Bimbo. I never knew why until a few years ago when I found out that it had originally been the nickname of another boy in his class who didn't like it so started calling Steve it instead. And it stuck. He's still known as it to this day.

[Clatty McCutcheon]

I mentioned them on here and a couple of years later my post appeared on our ex-pupils' Facebook forum.

This is why I'd be reluctant to mention the more distinctive ones here, although there were quite a few.

Of the less imaginative ones, there was a boy with a large head who was just known as 'Heid'. My uncle once mentioned that a boy in his class about 20 years earlier was known as 'Heid' so things hadn't got any more imaginative between the 70s and the 90s.

There were also some nicknames for often-seen passers-by based on their appearances (I was going to write 'adults who were frequently seen in the vicinity of the school' but that sounded a bit rum). Jesus and The Fonz, for instance.

[dissolute ocelot]

There was a guy at my school called Benson, after the cigarettes.
The best are where someone is just called a completely different name, like Frank (Fraser to his mother; I forget the reason).
On the other hand, if you're in Scotland and your nickname is Mac, you probably need to work on your personality.

There was always a real sense of victory when you could get a teacher to call someone by their nickname. (Unless it was a nickname the teacher came up with, like poor little Litotes or even more lamely TS, who had the same initials as a poet.)

[Better Midlands]

Had a friend called Bobs for Pope because his surname was Bobs and in the first year he wore a v-neck sweater where the v was so small it obscured his tie just leaving the white of his shirt poking out C of E clerical collar style.

Often said in the style of a Gregorian chant.

[Huxleys Babkins]

Loved the ones where a teacher would misread someone's name on the register. Unless they were hard as fuck, they'd be stuck with it forever.

[The Mollusk]

Johnny Wobbler. Fat lad.

[Better Midlands]

Remembered another one, made it a jpg so it's not googlable as it is/was a bit mean.

[Cleveland Steamer]

Guff (Geoff)
Flob (spitter)
Pilchard (greasy lad)
Buttocks (buttocks)
The Bear (massive psychotic 13 year old)
Cabbage (??? unknown origin)
Shep (??? see above)
Kinder Surprise (looked like an egg)
Hovis (only ate Hovis)
Ballbag (party trick)
Spender (Jimmy Nail lookalike)
Lord Fid (enterprising young lad who tried to get us to all pay into a pension scheme when we were about 12 years old)

[Cleveland Steamer]

Loved the ones where a teacher would misread someone's name on the register. Unless they were hard as fuck, they'd be stuck with it forever.

This happened to a boy at our school whose last name was Winkworth with hilarious/disastrous results (depending on your perspective).

[Pink Gregory]

Logger

that's pretty much it

someone I knew had the same last name as a victorian malnutrition disease.  They were quite boney.

[Sebastian Cobb]

'Big Nun' - a play on the fact they looked like a white version of the rapper Big Pun and were Catholic.

[badaids]

Guff (Geoff)
Flob (spitter)
Pilchard (greasy lad)
Buttocks (buttocks)
The Bear (massive psychotic 13 year old)
Cabbage (??? unknown origin)
Shep (??? see above)
Kinder Surprise (looked like an egg)
Hovis (only ate Hovis)
Ballbag (party trick)
Spender (Jimmy Nail lookalike)
Lord Fid (enterprising young lad who tried to get us to all pay into a pension scheme when we were about 12 years old)

Kinder Surprise is amazing.

I mean, they could have just gone for Egg, Eggy or Eggman if he looked like an egg, but no, they did it properly and they extended across to Kinder.  And even then not Kinder Egg, but Kinder Surprise.

[Voltan (Man of Steel)]

Mark Davis was Spacey, short for Space M*ng. When I asked Steven Blake (Blakey) where the Space M*ng name came from, he said it's because he lays eggs.

[Poirots BigGarlickyCorpse]

Known some Shellys (Michelle), Mossys (Thomas or Tomás), Rossis (Rossiter) and Flemmys (Fleming) but no "true" (as in non-abbreviated) nicknames.

[Jockice]

Loved the ones where a teacher would misread someone's name on the register. Unless they were hard as fuck, they'd be stuck with it forever.

Guy in the year below apparently became known as Lippy because of this. His surname was Lin-something.

[PaulTMA]

Someone in my year got dubbed Cheesy Gran.  Later learned it was a deliberate mispronunciation of "Cheesy Grin".  Not certain of why

There was also a younger kid, Vice Versa, who allegedly did a white shit in the playground