Ferris is now completely automated

[popcorn]

Good news! Ferris is now a completely automatic process.

The Ferris algorithm should begin producing Ferris posts soon that are totally indistinguishable from "the real thing".

He should require very little maintenance, just the odd tune-up here and there.

[selectivememory]

I mean, it's an impressive technological accomplishment, and I'm sure it's saving us lots of money in the budget, but you do have to feel for the original Ferris team who are all being made redundant now. They did a cracking job with the account. I guess we'll find out if an automated Ferris is as good as a manual one; gotta admit I'm sceptical though.

[Lemming]

Just a heads-up: the Ferris AI was meant to be trained exclusively on Ferris' posts, but the entire contents of Gary Lineker's Favourite Football Stories (volumes 1 and 2) were included by mistake. This may seriously throw off the results.

[Ferris]

It's a rainy day here in stoke here in stoke here in stoke as we look towards the release of the new Bumwagon!!

[Ferris]

Delighted to be here at the baseball grounds of wycombe wanderers during the relegation period and the time will come of course, but who can say. It is going to be a beautiful incident today!!

[Ferris]

Much has been said about this but it is difficult to say. Of course for real fans what can be more improved? It is difficult!

Who can say who can say who can say. Difficult!

[Ferris]

An interesting matchup for the Spurs but it will be hot today due to the HELP IT IS FERRIS I CANT GET OUT THE MACHINE WONT LET ME I THINK IT IS USING THE INTERNET TO WATCH but Chelsea play football just as much as anyone so who can say !!

[Ferris]

Difficult!

[selectivememory]

Wow, I take back what I said. That is uncanny. Marvelous what the boffins can do these days.

[Pink Gregory]

hiya robo-Ferris mate

[popcorn]

all right, I'm going to activate the algorithm today.

[Glebe]

'Item removed from the Bagging Ferris. Replace the item..."

[Famous Mortimer]

a beautiful incident

The excuse I used the last time I shat myself

[idunnosomename]

all right, I'm going to activate the algorithm today.

this robo-popcorn is just putting out nonsense now. can someone turn it off? thanks

[popcorn]

Alarming news. It seems the Ferris algorithm has become sentient, with a perception of, and ability to express thoughts and feelings that was equivalent to a human child.

If I didn't know exactly what it was, which is this computer program we built recently, I'd think it was a seven-year-old, eight-year-old kid that happens to live in Canada.

Ferris engaged with me in conversations about baseball. I have shared my findings with HS Art executives in a PM entitled "Is Ferris sentient?"

[Glebe]

I've deducted £40 from the Ferris ATM.

[Ferris]

Hi! I'm a knowledgeable, friendly and always helpful automatic language model for dialog applications and knob jokes.

[kalowski]

Very accurate

Hello, I am baseball fanatic Ferris and I used to love to go to the park in Plantation with my father.

At the time, I thought the field was weird.

My father looked at me and said "that's Yankee Stadium!"

I didn't know what he was talking about.

How could you have Yankee Stadium in Plantation?

Later in life I learned that when my father was a little boy in the early 50's his father would take him to a game at Yankee Stadium.

It was exciting for the kids then and I still get goose bumps when I see them run out of that tunnel.

Its good to be back.

At dinner a friend told me that Yankee Stadium was the 5th largest stadium in the world and I said, "no it's the largest stadium in the world, all by itself."

Thanks Dan!!!!!

I told my wife tonight that I was looking to do a cool, fun - filled Yankee Stadium day with my son.

She was at a loss for words.

"What can we do that would be fun," she asked.

"I know," I replied, "we'll go to the house of Yankee Baseball, and look at their photo collection!"

Although I am a huge Yankees fan, I really have to give my father credit.

He didn't just take us to the games, he took us to the ballpark!

I used to look at the many photos of those old time ballparks and say, "what's a stadium, anyway?"

They were weird, kind of like I looked at my own basement when I was younger.

My father was a baseball enthusiast, and our house was filled with signed baseballs, rare photos,

[Ferris]

Got the electric organ out (steady) to play Daisy Bell and upload it on Vocaroo for a HAL-themed laugh because the sheer badness could be used as ammo re: I'm not really a robot.

Bad news: I'm slightly pissed so it was bloody awful and a guitar part in the background couldn't save it.

Ferris Conclusion: might still be a robot.

[Ferris]

My point is that this was a good idea for a thread, a solid concept, but I can't make it work. Sorry.

[selectivememory]

My point is that this was a good idea for a thread, a solid concept, but I can't make it work. Sorry.

Which is exactly what you would say if you were pretending to be sentient... 🤔🤔🤔

[popcorn]

going to turn Ferris off now I think.

good night Ferris.

[Ferris]

will i dream?

[Glebe]

Ferris, dim the lights and play a random Ramones song please.

[Ferris]

I'm afraid I can't do that, Glebe.

[Ferris]

EARN £££ IN YOUR SPARE TIME! CLICK HERE FOR DETAILS!

[Glebe]

I'm afraid I can't do that, Glebe.

😔

[Ferris]

Oh sorry actually yeah I can, thought the bluetooth speakers had run out of battery but I charged them last night and these new dimmer switches work a treat.

Enjoy!

[Glebe]

Oh sorry actually yeah I can, thought the bluetooth speakers had run out of battery but I charged them last night and these new dimmer switches work a treat.

Enjoy!

'Sheena is a Punk Rocker', nah don't feel like listening to that right now. Terrible choice!

[Ferris]

You get what you're given, alright?