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Ice cream man who can't keep his work life separate from his personal life

Started by Stoneage Dinosaurs, May 28, 2022, 04:10:12 PM

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Stoneage Dinosaurs

Every time he has sex with his wife he calls his penis the 'ice cream glans', he says 'here comes the ice cream glans!' and does a vocal impression of Greensleeves while putting it in

Stoneage Dinosaurs

I'll be honest, when I came up with this one I started with the phrase 'ice cream glans' and worked backwards from that

Replies From View

Presumably 'ice cream glans' has a meaning in his work context as well?  What is it?

Glebe


Chicory

"What's for tea, dad?"

"It's ice cream again, Van"

"But daaaaaaad, my type 2 diabetes!"

Elderly Sumo Prophecy

Sticks a flake in everyone's Sunday roast and serves it with a bottle of Panda Cola.

"No, Dad. No"

"Just leave him be love. He's not well"

Replies From View

"It's the flakiest most crumbliest milk chocolate ever son, you mark my words."

"Thanks dad, it's valued advice."

*he squirts strawberry flavour sauce over the mash on your plate*

House is entirely powered by an inverter connected to a diesel engine left idling in the front garden.

idunnosomename

And it's covered with Disney characters that are recognisable but just slightly off model to a very precise degree



Chicory

He wanted to change his door number to 'one hundred and thousand' but the council were having none of it, not even a proper number is it mate.

danwho9

Quote from: Chicory on May 30, 2022, 04:44:04 PMHe wanted to change his door number to 'one hundred and thousand' but the council were having none of it, not even a proper number is it mate.

He instead chose the much more sensible option of '99'. Fortunately living on a cul de sac it wasn't already taken.

Glebe



"That reminds me of a photo of me and my ex-wife on holiday. Ah well. Sniff. There you go mate, 6p for the Jubilee!"

Elderly Sumo Prophecy

Constantly accuses local children of deflating the tyres on his Transit van.

Glebe

"...but I'd do anything to have Ada back. That'll be 50p sonny."

"Sit down, love."

"What is it, John?"

"Just went up to our Twister's room and I found something."

"Christ, what is it, drugs?"

"No, Mary, the daft lad's eating them Japanese things. What are they called? Mocky is it? I tell you what, I'll put up with sorbet, and remember how accommodating I was to our Calippo when she said she liked that Glen and Jenny muck? But I won't have that claggy rice shit under my roof."