Has anyone ever translated the French Taxidermist saga from the R1 show?

[Gob Shine Algorithm]

Has anyone ever translated the French Taxidermist saga from the R1 show?

I've looked on Google, and briefly scanned pages 1-9 of this forum, but nothing apparently (if there is, sorry for being wonky-eyed).

I want a complete transcript in English and I want it NOW.

Across the course of two shows, Chris Morris, claiming to be the controller of BBC Radio, phones up a series of French taxidermists in order to have Dead Johnny Walker stuffed and/or source a diorama. His French sounds pigeon, but it's hard to know if this is deliberate, as part of the ambush? (he frequently addresses the receptionist by the wrong sex, Dead Parrot-style). Don't speak French myself because I'm borderline Pub Landlord.

[Smeraldina Rima]

Subtitled video here mon frère:

[Gob Shine Algorithm]

Subtitled video here mon frère:

29 years worth of mystery solved. Weirdly indulgent, aren't they, the French? Almost like Chris Morris' usual vox pop victims, they just get drawn in.

Makes you think, though. Post-retirement, Steve Wright better watch his step.