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Experiencing comedy cliches in real life.

Started by Pavlov`s Dog`s Dad`s Dead, May 27, 2022, 11:40:39 AM

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Beagle 2

I was walking to meet a friend at the park and as I approached he started shouting something at me and pointing. I couldn't hear him so I sped up. The more I sped up the more people joined in shouting and pointing, but I still couldn't hear, so I started jogging a little to get near them and find out what the issue was, at which point I kicked a bottle of beer high into a foamy arc which turns out they had been trying to warn me not to kick over because I'm a known silly cunt.

TrenterPercenter


Endicott


Thursday

#33
Had a miscarriage

JamesTC

Saw somebody slip on a chip and it was one of the funniest things I have ever seen.

The Mollusk

Quote from: Cuellar on May 27, 2022, 08:28:58 PMCool cheers

He can come round and smash my teeth in to make up for it if if makes you feel better. I do fight dirty though, might want to give him a heads up.

Quote from: JamesTC on May 27, 2022, 11:30:28 PMSaw somebody slip on a chip and it was one of the funniest things I have ever seen.

in real life someone slipping and falling over is overrated as a source of comedy

the real hilarity is someone slipping, but it turns into a slide so they're moving forward rapidly with only a single frame of animation. saw this happen to a school janitor once, he stood on a damp rag someone put on a childs sick and he went most of the way across the assembly hall in Manic Mailman pose. no one had to get hurt. sames goes for someone doing impromptu splits after standing on a coke can.

The Bumlord

Quote from: rilk on May 27, 2022, 12:26:36 PMGod imagine the buzz you'd get seeing a dog running from a butchers with a string of sausages in its little mouth

Working in Cayman a while back (yes it's a very tough job actually) I saw a stray dog running around with a huge iguana in its mouth. He looked well happy. The iguana less so.

Magnum Valentino

Was sitting in a car outside a shopping center once and my da came back to the car all bashful and told me he'd walked into a window trying to get into the shoe shop and had to just turn and walk away, so I went into the place to take a look and sure enough on the window panel beside the door there was a wee imprint of a human face at the exact right height.

Quote from: Magnum Valentino on May 28, 2022, 06:55:19 AMWas sitting in a car outside a shopping center once and my da came back to the car all bashful and told me he'd walked into a window trying to get into the shoe shop and had to just turn and walk away, so I went into the place to take a look and sure enough on the window panel beside the door there was a wee imprint of a human face at the exact right height.



Magnum Valentino

It was so much like that, yeah, and extremely funny. I actually became quite uncomfortable because of how much I was laughing, in public, at apparently nothing. I had to go next door and buy A Fistful Of Dollars on DVD to pull myself away from the situation.

greencalx

Quote from: Video Game Fan 2000 on May 28, 2022, 12:34:12 AMin real life someone slipping and falling over is overrated as a source of comedy

the real hilarity is someone slipping, but it turns into a slide so they're moving forward rapidly with only a single frame of animation.

Just before Christmas we thought it would be nice to go for a walk across the hills to a different part of town. Unfortunately it had rained a lot the previous few days, and we underestimated how slippery the hillside was going to be. Cue my child losing his footing and doing a comedy slide that got him coated from head to toe in mud. He wasn't best pleased at the time, but saw the funny side once the initial shock had worn off. We did decide to abandon the walk at that point, though.

TrenterPercenter

#42
I was running late for footy training one evening and couldn't find my shorts so went with a pair of swimming shorts.  Now despite passing well as footy shorts from the outside they had that inner mesh pant inside bit which essentially scraped my perineum red raw. After a couple of hours of sweaty pain and wincing I eventually arrived home and waddled straight to the shower.  As the hot water struck my delicate nether regions I thought this isn't right, I need to do something about this. So reached out and picked up my girlfriends tube of moisturiser she had left on the bathroom shelf, then proceeded to liberally apply it to the inflamed banus area.  A brief moment of cooling nirvana was following with a terrible burning pain as if a thousand tiny daggers were fucking me in the taint.  I reached out again and grabbed the tube to see what I was dealing with and at this point did a comedy double take when I read the label "exfoliant cream".

Basically I had exfoliated my gooch and there was nothing I could do now but try and carefully wash the microbeads out of my broken undercrotch (which was a very slow and painful process).

JamesTC

When I was five, my Dad accidentally got my underwear mixed with his own. After playing football he was in the changing room and proceeded to pull out a comically small pair of underwear.

Cuellar

Quote from: The Mollusk on May 27, 2022, 11:50:45 PMHe can come round and smash my teeth in to make up for it if if makes you feel better. I do fight dirty though, might want to give him a heads up.

He's dead, sadly.

He died of rake strike.

Dex Sawash

At the auto repair facility where I am employed, one day a priest and a rabbi arrived and entered at the same time. As they walked in chatting I told them I was sure I had heard this one but had forgotten the punchline. They laughed.

Not for this thread but
The same rabbi on a different day had just had a used car pre-purchase appraisal done by the shockingly ignorant shop redneck asshole. In the debrief of the car's condition the rabbi asked for  summary "should I buy it?"

Redneck says "you may can jew him down* on the price"
Rabbi without pause says "I'll try that!"





* common archaic phrase for bargaining certainly used without full awareness of its offensive nature in this case. The 'may can' part is just normal idiot usage.

Imagine if someone stood on a rake with enough force that the rake went straight through them and hit the ground behind, leaving them standing there like a giant gormless hairpin

would you laugh

Cold Meat Platter


JamesTC

Quote from: Video Game Fan 2000 on May 28, 2022, 12:34:12 AMin real life someone slipping and falling over is overrated as a source of comedy

the real hilarity is someone slipping, but it turns into a slide so they're moving forward rapidly with only a single frame of animation. saw this happen to a school janitor once, he stood on a damp rag someone put on a childs sick and he went most of the way across the assembly hall in Manic Mailman pose. no one had to get hurt. sames goes for someone doing impromptu splits after standing on a coke can.

When I was in high school, I was playing football in the sports hall. A very clumsy kid tried to kick the ball but missed and started falling backwards. He fell into the fire exit but managed to fall onto the handle and open it which caused him to continue falling outside.

kalowski

Remember those little books you could get as a kid, designed to pass the time on long journeys by ticking off things you saw? Krazy comic produced one for exactly this thing.
"Tick if you see a man in such a rush for work he forgets to put his trousers in."

flotemysost

Loving all of these!

Quote from: rilk on May 27, 2022, 12:26:36 PMGod imagine the buzz you'd get seeing a dog running from a butchers with a string of sausages in its little mouth

Quote from: Huxleys Babkins on May 27, 2022, 02:46:58 PMIt's just impractical isn't it? Mash too soft to brace the sausage when attempting to pick up with fork and/or cut sausage. Sausage inside mash disproportionately hot compared to bare ends.

You'd just end up pulling them out of the mash and placing them next to the mash anyway.

Sausages are just inherently comedic, aren't they? Just something so goofy and unthreatening about them. Funny name, too; you can say it like the dog from That's Life. I'm not sure what other banger-based comedy cliches there are, but I once laughed so hard I hyperventilated because my mum was frying some Walls jobbies and when she gave one of them a squeeze with some kitchen paper (to blot the worst of the carcinogenic grease), a jet of milky liquid spurted out the end of it.

I love a bit of "they're behind you!"-type visual comedy IRL. I used to live in a flatshare that lent itself to one of the best (and most excruciating) slapstick scenarios I've been party to; the flat had a shared balcony/roof terrace type thing (nothing fancy, just a bit of flat tarmac'ed roof of dubious safety, with space for a couple of chairs), which could only be reached via a door in my bedroom. I wasn't precious about people going in my room so they could use it - one of my flatmates was a teacher on his school holidays, and that was the only outdoor space we had, so he spent a lot of time sitting out there smoking weed and playing guitar and stuff while I was at work (he'd always considerately shut the outside door behind him when smoking, so the smell didn't go in my room) - so we had an agreement where if my bedroom door was open it was all good to go through to the balcony, but I'd obviously shut my door if I was sleeping or whatever.

One evening that summer I was out, and got home probably around midnight, with company. My compadre asked if he could go for the customary fag afterwards and I said sure, there's a balcony just through that door there. Obviously, my poor flatmate must have gone out for a nocturnal smoke himself (and shut the balcony door behind him, as usual) moments before I got home with this chap, and soon realised he was trapped out there until a decent interval arose, only to be joined by my unsuspecting pal who obviously hadn't realised there was someone on the other side of the door the whole time (and neither had I). Hearing both their shrieks of surprise made up for the staggering awkwardness of it all (luckily I moved out not long after that anyway).

I can't think of any examples of this cliche right now, but someone suddenly dropping dead (seemingly in response to something innocuous) is definitely a thing, isn't it? I wasn't witness to this happening, but one of my aunts used to tell me about how she was at her elderly uncle's birthday party (this probably would've been in the Sixties), and she went over to hand him his present and gave him a peck on the cheek, to which he had a heart attack and died instantly there on the floor of the pub, giving her the nickname "Kiss of Death" for ages. My aunt didn't appear traumatised by this episode and recounted it quite gleefully.

TrenterPercenter


jamiefairlie

Quote from: Jerrykeshton on May 27, 2022, 08:29:33 PMI once watched a friend of mine walk into a lamp post.

Outside my uni, someone was doing a photoshoot in the middle of the street that involved a toilet being placed on the pavement and a person pretending to vomit in to it.

My friend was completely distract by the bizarre sight and carried on looking over his shoulder as he walked, just turning his head back as he face planted into the pole.

It was bloody funny.

That happened to my friend at school. We were walking up the road and he smacked into the lamppost so hard that his NHS specs went all askew like Captain Mainwaring. Still makes me laugh thinking about it.

Someone's trousers splitting after they bend over to pick up a penny, revealing that their underpants have hearts on them.

Anyone seen this? Someone getting vanilla ripped trou in real life is hardly Blazing Saddles

Fr.Bigley

Imagine being the fella that lives next door to Jim Davidson.

When I worked at the council's information centre, the manager was always setting up window displays to promote some event or other. He decided one display needed a mannequin and asked a local department store if they had a spare one he could borrow. They said yes so off he trots to collect it.

Of course it's a naked female mannequin with a bald head that he has to lug through the busy town centre on a Saturday, and the only way he could easily carry it was by hooking his arm between the legs. As he was passing a crowded bus stop the head fell off and he had to scrabble around on the floor for it in front of the sniggering onlookers. Luckily for him he was into am-dram and was incapable of being embarrassed - in fact I think he enjoyed the attention. I would have died of shame.

Proactive

I've got a few examples but I haven't really got the time to recount them now as we're expecting a visit any minute from the local (especially uptight) vicar whom we're hoping will agree to marry us at his church, my bank manager to talk about a loan to fund it, and my former Army Major to discuss whether I need to re-enlist because I accidentally left a year early due to an administrative error and nobody noticed until now. It might seem odd having them all round at the same time but I'm on a tight schedule as I'm also due a visit five minutes after they leave by my fiercely anti-establishment, flamboyantly gay, drug addicted identical twin brother who I won't get to see for a while as he's due to go into a psychiatric facility because he believes he's Jesus. Yes, I think I've definitely got the timing of everything right so it should all go off without a hitch and I'll come back afterwards to tell you about the times I experienced some comedy clich├ęs in real life.

Jeez, that sounds really stressful! Hope it all goes off OK. And that you manage to find your trousers before the vicar arrives.

Quote from: JamesTC on May 28, 2022, 02:43:42 PMWhen I was in high school, I was playing football in the sports hall. A very clumsy kid tried to kick the ball but missed and started falling backwards. He fell into the fire exit but managed to fall onto the handle and open it which caused him to continue falling outside.

Then I'm imagine him falling down some open service duct into the ground, with the base of that then dissolving to precipitate him down some ancient and disused mining shaft....

H-O-W-L

Blown into a lamp post by a strong gale. I was a small child in a big coat.

Less funny that it split my scalp open and made me bleed so heavily my vision went black and white.