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July 24, 2024, 12:19:37 AM

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Keith Allen on Rik and Ade: "they went on to produce absolute shit"

Started by EggsLikeABird, May 14, 2024, 03:56:34 PM

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idunnosomename

Look kids that's Keith Allen
that's Lily Allen's dad
he's been coming since the '50s
and apparently he's really mad

Eggy Mess

Always figured he must have access to the best coke or something. No idea how anyone puts up with him otherwise.

Tarquin

Allen sighs and assembles a cheese roll, like a dunce gearing up to make one final effort at the difference between left and right. He waves away Bea Artuhur. "Obviously condolences to my family,"

McDead

Quote from: Eggy Mess on May 15, 2024, 10:46:47 PMAlways figured he must have access to the best coke or something. No idea how anyone puts up with him otherwise.

This makes a frankly staggering amount of sense, and explains his entire career in a nutshell.

ProvanFan

Love his work in the Listerine advert.

They'll always be rock 'ard to me, dad.

Sonny_Jim

Quote from: Ron Maels Moustache on May 15, 2024, 05:34:12 PMThat is true I think, the "Harry & Lulu" sketches from Chums were based on Lily and her little brother Alfie.


If you listen to the recent "Where there's a will there's a wake" podcast with Kathy Burke she talks about this a little bit. 


Mwnger

Quote from: Eggy Mess on May 15, 2024, 10:46:47 PMAlways figured he must have access to the best coke or something. No idea how anyone puts up with him otherwise.

I've always thought this about Adam Sandler

Jerzy Bondov

Yeah maybe he's a good actor but it's not like acting is very hard is it. 'Hello my name is Detective Johnson and I'm here to find out about a murder' or 'Grrr, I am going to get you' or whatever it is. Easy.

studpuppet

#68
Quote from: Jerzy Bondov on May 16, 2024, 10:38:03 AMYeah maybe he's a good actor but it's not like acting is very hard is it. 'Hello my name is Detective Johnson and I'm here to find out about a murder' or 'Grrr, I am going to get you' or whatever it is. Easy.

Yeah - but lying still with your cock out is an ART.

(Behind a spoiler as it's NSFW)

Spoiler alert

Barry Admin

Quote from: studpuppet on May 16, 2024, 10:46:48 AMYeah - but lying still with your cock out is an ART.

(Behind a spoiler as it's NSFW)

That does not stop the image from loading in, therefore it still puts people at risk if they're browsing from work.

studpuppet

Quote from: Barry Admin on May 16, 2024, 12:01:12 PMThat does not stop the image from loading in, therefore it still puts people at risk if they're browsing from work.

Sorry - edited so it's a link instead. Does that solve it? I'd hate for anyone to be sacked because of Keith's unrequested cock (pint glass or not).


JaDanketies

Too late, my boss is already pestering me for more Keith Allen dick picks

Gurke and Hare

I've just been sacked and I looked at it on my own laptop at home. Fair enough really.

Stoneage Dinosaurs

I'm self employed so I've had to discipline myself. I then embarked on a steamy inter-office romance with myself over the sight of Lily Allen's dad's cock

lauraxsynthesis

In the bar before the Comic Strip Presents screening on Sunday, I overheard a woman saying she's seek Keith Allen's nob. I didn't hear in what context, but my first though was that that's true of anyone who's seen Shallow Grave. In addition to all the other time's he's gotten it out of course.

Thanks to @idunnosomename for reminding me of this.

Garam

There's a good clip of Keith Allen on YouTube on some early 90s late night talk shows with Vic Reeves, Charlie Higson and some other people, drunk as fuck, coming across as the biggest bell end in the universe while they all look at him bemused

El Unicornio, mang

Quote from: Garam on May 16, 2024, 06:11:10 PMThere's a good clip of Keith Allen on YouTube on some early 90s late night talk shows with Vic Reeves, Charlie Higson and some other people, drunk as fuck, coming across as the biggest bell end in the universe while they all look at him bemused


I seem to remember an excruciating interview he did on TFI Friday as well. I saw him perform "World in Motion" with New Order at Reading 98* not long after and he shouted something about "fucking ginger bollocks" and was generally acting like a coked up Liam Gallagher wannabe


*my second Reading 98 anecdote today, sorry.



Quote from: Garam on May 16, 2024, 06:11:10 PMThere's a good clip of Keith Allen on YouTube on some early 90s late night talk shows with Vic Reeves, Charlie Higson and some other people, drunk as fuck, coming across as the biggest bell end in the universe while they all look at him bemused

Can anyone identify all the others in the clip? I can spot Vic, Charlie, David Nobbs, Maurice Gran (Goodnight Sweetheart) and Farrukh Dhondy but I'm shamefully unable to identify the women.

poodlefaker

Quote from: Wacky Homemade Badges on May 16, 2024, 09:00:25 PMCan anyone identify all the others in the clip? I can spot Vic, Charlie, David Nobbs, Maurice Gran (Goodnight Sweetheart) and Farrukh Dhondy but I'm shamefully unable to identify the women.

Legend Keith gets a right old racist dig in at Farrukh early doors in that clip. Never noticed it before. How hilarious. And he's not drunk as fuck, he's coked off his gourd. Surprised he ever worked for the BBC again.

Vodkafone

Quote from: Wacky Homemade Badges on May 16, 2024, 09:00:25 PMCan anyone identify all the others in the clip? I can spot Vic, Charlie, David Nobbs, Maurice Gran (Goodnight Sweetheart) and Farrukh Dhondy but I'm shamefully unable to identify the women.

One of them is Caroline Quentin, no? Although I don't have my gegs on.


SpiderChrist

Quote from: poodlefaker on May 16, 2024, 09:41:20 PMLegend Keith gets a right old racist dig in at Farrukh early doors in that clip. Never noticed it before. How hilarious. And he's not drunk as fuck, he's coked off his gourd. Surprised he ever worked for the BBC again.

I first saw that on some Danny Baker clips show. IIRC Baker follows that by saying "What a complete prrrrofessional"

wrec

Can't remember the specifics but he comes across as completely intolerable even at the start of his "career" in Alexei Sayle's memoir Thatcher Stole My Trousers.

Just looked up Fat Les as I never understood what that was about, forgot Alex fucking James and Damien bastarding Hirst were involved. I suppose you could say it's a perfect distillation of the horrors of the Loaded era.

Quote from: SpiderChrist on May 16, 2024, 10:09:28 PMI first saw that on some Danny Baker clips show. IIRC Baker follows that by saying "What a complete prrrrofessional"

Yes! What a... personality. Think it was the TV Hell doc about chat shows.

Quote from: Vodkafone on May 16, 2024, 09:45:52 PMOne of them is Caroline Quentin, no? Although I don't have my gegs on.



Not sure. I think the woman I assume you're talking about is too old to be her, but that might also be true of the man I'm identifying as David Nobbs. Maurice Gran I'm certain of though.

This is the life though, isn't it? Identifying comedy writers in a thirty five year old clip on cookdandbombd. THIS IS FUCKING LIVING!

Looked around and there's another thread on here that names the other woman who we see for a fraction of a second as Morwenna Banks. But it also misidentifies Dhondy as Tariq Ali which is pretty wild, so who knows.

EggsLikeABird

Quote from: wrec on May 16, 2024, 10:22:41 PMJust looked up Fat Les as I never understood what that was about, forgot Alex fucking James and Damien bastarding Hirst were involved. I suppose you could say it's a perfect distillation of the horrors of the Loaded era.
Three cokeheads looking out for each other for some reason:
QuoteMy crime was to write about a cocaine-taking incident that occurred during a photo shoot for Vanity Fair's 'Cool Britannia' issue at the club. I was the editor in charge and in my recently published book I reveal that Damien Hirst and Keith Allen, the photo's two subjects, demanded I supply them with alcohol and cocaine as a condition of posing for the camera.

Vanity Fair resident twat Toby Young

He often goes into a meltdown when he's not getting all of the attention in the room.

I have a vague memory that he managed to reframe the focus of his documentary about Keith Floyd into some embarrassingly meta "Keith Allen is making a documentary about some chef geezer", complete with footage of him in the studio doing the narration, etc.

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