Who would want to own this?

[Mr_Simnock]

Rich people are so unbelievably stupid. I bet if they wrote 'tacky gullible cunt' on a mirror some thick, wealthy dolt would give them thousands of pounds for it.

Looking at the photo of them and trying to work out if they're knowingly grifting their clientele - or if their actual taste is genuinely as appalling as the shit they're shitting out of their shitty shop.

I think your right but for a certain type of rich person. Whenever I see something like this furniture online, or expensive houses that look shit, or expensive cars painted gold or silver, it's almost always for people who have come into money in their life time and seem to think this sort of purchase will show their wealth and\or status. Reminds me of a program on channel 4 this year, can't remember the actual name of it, but it concerned a bloke who built 'super houses'. This bloke just built, what looked to me, like a load of fancy bits he had seen in hotels stuck together and decided this constituted a house. That twatty furniture above would have bee right up his street. He had 'made himself' and those who he sold to were the same. People who come from families who have had wealth for a long time tend not to (still some will) give that a moments thought, they already have institutions that they almost always buy anything from, your Sotheby's, Harrod's and Savile Rows for e.g.

[beanheadmcginty]

Very reminiscent of the "I saw you coming" sketch from Harry and Paul.

[Mr_Simnock]

just watched the first sketch, very harsh but I can imagine how many times he met folk like that and I'm sure there is no shortage on london

[timahall]

Funko Pops.

(I own two but they're both DEVO-themed, and i'm a DEVO tat completist)

[The Dog]

The alien in The Thing and the works of Lovecraft were unthinkable

Also, the ship in Titanic.

[dissolute ocelot]

Bed - £5500

That's an iconic image completely ruined. Imagine going into some dude's bedroom for the first time and seeing that. Hopefully it stops them reproducing at least.

[The Mollusk]

It came as no surprise to me that on their website bio they list Madonna among their clientele

[buttgammon]

It's obviously all hideous but something particularly striking about that awful gaudy furniture is how dated the idea seems. Drop this in 1997, get some YBA involved and it's still horrible but at least it seems vaguely relevant. In 2023, what is it other than a monument to the boundless stupidity of rich cunts?

ETA: looking at their famous clients list, a disproportionate amount of them are now dead. Coincidence?

[kalowski]

Bed - £5500

Is this some sort of tribute to The Venerable Bede?

[flotemysost]

It's not even a Zinger Tower mate. You've got the wrong shop.

Ha, yeah set myself up for that one. Big Tasteless®, perhaps?

Imagine someone well meaningly presenting you with that burger as a housewarming present and sincerely saying "I hope you like it" with no chance that they're joking. Weapons grade poignancy all over that situation. 

NOOOOO :(

I find this kind of aesthetic, and the abundant examples of it, endlessly fascinating; it's the fixation on being rebellious and offensive and authentic, when it's so blatantly formulaic and predictable.

There's always a picture of the Queen, Frida Kahlo, David Bowie or some anonymous Regency portraiture cunt; and they've always been superimposed with body mods, graffiti-style text, or some bland slogan professing a vague sentiment of disobedience. It's such a hackneyed, early-00s, Nuts magazine, stonewashed-jeans-with-a-tux approximation of defiance.

Anyway I already tell myself I'm a useless idiot who needs to fuck off every time I look in the mirror; don't need to pay two grand for some jumped-up art school knobhead to do it for me!

[non capisco]

That mirror was actually the first thing I thought of on waking this morning. A mirror that costs thousands of pounds that you can't see into because there's writing on it telling you to fuck off must be the stupidest thing I've seen for sale in my life.

I bet it turns out my dad has got me it for Christmas.

[Terence Bowl]

Why is the middle bit purple. Is that supposed to be a huge circular slice of onion? That seems like too much onion.

Clearly the sculptor intended for there to be three burgers but was apparently then overruled by the painter, probably while muttering "Nah mate Big Mac's only got two burgers innit".

Swarovski is very obviously a money laundering front isn't it? There's never anyone in the shops.

I was going to make a joke about Nazi gold thinking they're a Swiss company but it turns out they're Austrian.

The Nazi bit is more than valid though.

Members of the Swarovski family were early, active and enthusiastic champions of National Socialism, and at least six of its members maintained membership in the illegal party prior to Austria's annexation to National Socialist Germany on 12 March 1938. Three weeks earlier, 500 marchers in the Tyrolean town of Wattens held a torchlight procession that ended with chants of "Sieg Heil" and "Heil Hitler." The majority of the participants, police determined, were Swarovski plant employees, among them Swarovski family heirs Alfred, Wilhelm and Friedrich.

There's a furniture shop in Kensington called Jimmie Martin that sells the most utterly garish vile tacky looking garbage you've ever seen for astonishing prices. They basically do up old furniture in their own wonderfully unique style.

Turns out Jimmie and Martin are actually Jens and Ulf from Sweden.
Wouldn't be surprised if their business plan just said 'Do the exact opposite of everything those cunts at IKEA do'.

[Bentpitch]

In Glasgow, particularly round Finnieston, there's this tendency to sell handmade craft items which mash up different references like, I dunno, an illustration of Amy Winehouse, with a Bowie flash across her face, say, on a cushion, or engraved onto a piece of wood as a coaster, and it'll then have something sweary like 'fuck you, cunt' as a caption. Absolutely buggered if I know who wants this mix n match madlib shite in their house.

[Bentpitch]

In Glasgow, particularly round Finnieston, there's this tendency to sell handmade craft items which mash up different references like, I dunno, an illustration of Amy Winehouse, with a Bowie flash across her face, say, on a cushion, or engraved onto a piece of wood as a coaster, and it'll then have something sweary like 'fuck you, cunt' as a caption. Absolutely buggered if I know who wants this mix n match madlib shite in their house.

Oh, see, read the whole thread, bentpitch, you nob.

[Buelligan]

Saw an old dildo perched on the roof of the owner's car at a vide grenier.  Very reasonably priced.

And, quite separately from that, I know someone who bought one for their sister in law as a Christmas present.  Popped it under the tree for the ceremonial after-lunch opening in that extremely uptight extended family.  Don't know how that one panned out.  Never saw the man again.

[The Mollusk]

I find this kind of aesthetic, and the abundant examples of it, endlessly fascinating; it's the fixation on being rebellious and offensive and authentic, when it's so blatantly formulaic and predictable.

There's always a picture of the Queen, Frida Kahlo, David Bowie or some anonymous Regency portraiture cunt; and they've always been superimposed with body mods, graffiti-style text, or some bland slogan professing a vague sentiment of disobedience. It's such a hackneyed, early-00s, Nuts magazine, stonewashed-jeans-with-a-tux approximation of defiance.

Thing is these lads actually (ambiguously) mention "Royalty" on their list of buyers, and a lot of their work seems to venerate the royal family without much desecration, like this:



which I think is a lot worse.

[buttgammon]

Ahh, 'punk patriotism', one of the worst things ever.

[Clownbaby]

Thinking about how if you scroll fast enough the amazon listings for anything like bedding or T-shirts, you start getting randomly generated vile airbrush images dragged and dropped on a stock bed/t-shirt photo. Anything you could think of, it's there. The wonders of online shopping.

[famethrowa]

oh look it's Gilbert & Cunt

[Blumf]

A witless continuation of Vivienne Westwood's style. Half a century after it was actually relevant and vaguely shocking.

[poodlefaker]

Who would want to own this?

Laurence Fox

[kalowski]

A witless continuation of Vivienne Westwood's style. Half a century after it was actually relevant and vaguely shocking.

They never really go for it and have picture of Pol Pot on a scatter cushion.
Harold Shipman on a tea towel.

[Glebe]

"Doobie doobie do" :- Frank Sinatra.

[non capisco]

I certainly used to get a "Who is this for?" vibe from Doobie Duck's Duck Truck or whatever it was called.

[flotemysost]

handmade craft items which mash up different references like, I dunno, an illustration of Amy Winehouse, with a Bowie flash across her face, say, on a cushion, or engraved onto a piece of wood as a coaster, and it'll then have something sweary like 'fuck you, cunt' as a caption. Absolutely buggered if I know who wants this mix n match madlib shite in their house.

Nah you've basically distilled the essence of the whole poxy vibe right there.

There's a less sweary, more genteel middle-class variation on this, which I also find a bit cringe; heavy on the references to the kitchen disco, but also stuff like, say, the opening lyrics to Rapper's Delight in Cooper Black on a Pepto-Bismol pink background. Absolutely screams "this house was bought with generous contribution from our boomer parents and we're basically unremarkable Millennials doomed to mediocrity, but our place is still a cosmopolitan den of creativity and quirkiness, honest!" *shoos Henry the Golden Doodle off Made.com sofa*

Christ. This is *almost* as good as that lettings agent window display tribute to the Queen!


I'm still very entertained by the example in OP. '"Doobie doobie do" :- Frank Sinatra.' Of all the eminently quotable song lyrics and quips attributable to the man, and that's what they opted for. And then to add insult to injury, not even any kind of visual representation of Ol' Blue Eyes; just a drawing of microphone. "What's wrong? You said you wanted a Sinatra print, right? I haven't got all day, you know!".

Love how aggressively low-effort it is, and love the thought of someone clapping eyes on it in a window display and going "That's what I want!" even more.

[Ferris]

Like Nathan Barley decorating an Airbnb.

[Dex Sawash]

We've got a bit of aspirational tile work behind the cooktop that I've always hated but not enough to rip out and do again. Got this at charity shop yesterday and gonna hang up over the worst of the tile. A who would want twofer

[Famous Mortimer]

Bed - £5500

Slap that Ricky Gervais "atheist" image in its place, and watch the money come rolling in.

[idunnosomename]

Scrolling down this page makes me want to cry

https://jimmiemartin.com/product-category/homeware/busts-sculptures/

How could this "Naughty angel" be any naughtier!?!?



Well obviously


Two and a half grand each.

[Sebastian Cobb]

Kind of almost, but not quite Baby Billy Gemstone there.