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Comedy lines that just tickle the shit out of you Mk.II

Started by Benjaminos, March 10, 2020, 08:43:20 AM

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Pancake

Quote from: Puce Moment on March 10, 2020, 03:52:56 PM
Big fan of Richard Lewis' "who the fuck are you? [insert name here]?" in Curb.

A favourite is when Larry decides he wants to be a car salesman.

"Who the fuck are you? Willy Loman?"

Haha literally last night watched the one where Larrys being auctioned off for charity and he goes "What is this, Roots?"

Sebastian Cobb

Quote from: Puce Moment on March 10, 2020, 03:52:56 PM
Big fan of Richard Lewis' "who the fuck are you? [insert name here]?" in Curb.

A favourite is when Larry decides he wants to be a car salesman.

"Who the fuck are you? Willy Loman?"

I liked it when Larry dips his nose in his coffee and he asks him if he's a goose.

ollyboro


Polymorphia

Dan Ashcroft of Nathan Barley saying, "The idiots are winning, yeah, they're winning, the idiots."

Cornell Crawford: Well choke my chicken! Your name's Pear right? You lived next door to Frank, am I right?

Arlo Pear: Yeah.

Cornell Crawford: Small world ain't it?

Arlo Pear: Too small.

Cornell Crawford: Frank says you're a real asshole and if you fuck with me, I'll kill you, you understand?

Twit 2

Piers at Jeff's ex-law firm party:

"Did you know there's an island in Indonesia where you can hunt people?"

Jerzy Bondov

Quote from: Pancake on May 07, 2020, 11:09:57 AM
Haha literally last night watched the one where Larrys being auctioned off for charity and he goes "What is this, Roots?"
My favourite line from Richard Lewis in Curb is when his girlfriend's had an allergic reaction and he says "Know what would match her head? A dress made of turnips and blood." He gets a laugh out of Larry with that one.

popcorn

QuoteHANK: See, Bobby, I have a cousin named Dusty. He's the one with the beard. Uh, the one on the left.

BOBBY: We're related to ZZ Top?!

HANK: Not so loud, son! See, rock stars have different morals and values. Now, Dusty's coming by the house tomorrow. Do not ask him what time it is. He always says "it's time to rock".

The tiny disdainful wheeze Judge puts in the delivery of "time to rock" makes it magical for me. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fBNwh4KBWLI

Quote from: Bad Ambassador on May 02, 2020, 12:41:37 PM
How2 dispose of your husband's body.

He used to be a regional news anchor.

He still is.

"God damn these electric sex pants!"

Poirots BigGarlickyCorpse

There's an American Dad episode where they all go on holiday and Roger the alien disguises himself as an elderly woman named "Abigail. Abigail Lemonparty" who always came to the resort with her husband Omar, but now he's dead and she's brought his ashes to scatter. Anyway, at the end of his subplot he scatters the ashes over the ocean at sunset, exclaiming, "Thank you Omar! Thank you for showing me I can go on without you!" As the ashes blow away he screams,

"I KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO OUR KIDS, YOU MONSTER!" followed by a chuckled, "Why can't I leave things nice?"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9U3TSt67S7w

It's the fact that there's no Omar, no kids, it's all something he made up.

Pink Gregory

Rewatching the Black Adder - haven't seen it for so long that I had no idea that Richard III was Peter Cook.

"what a little tuuuuuuuuurd"

ollyboro

Have you been down to the Motor Vehicle Bureau? It's a leper colony down there.

amateur

Quote from: Puce Moment on March 10, 2020, 03:52:56 PM
Big fan of Richard Lewis' "who the fuck are you? [insert name here]?" in Curb.

A favourite is when Larry decides he wants to be a car salesman.

"Who the fuck are you? Willy Loman?"

Related and excellent:

Ned Flanders: And you! I don't know who you are but I'm sure you're an idiot!

Lenny: Hey, I just got here! What's going on?


Poirots BigGarlickyCorpse

American Dad! again.

"You know how you said, 'Try to be friends with the Senator's daughter?"

"...Yeah?"

"Well, it began like that, and then middle middle middle, and then I sold her to a drug-dealer, the end."

https://youtu.be/y7ERQl609aE?t=36

ollyboro

I am family...I'm having sex with the (or their) cousin.

Leon-C

From Father Ted

Ted:
Right Dougal, come on, you can't sit here watching television all night, it's a big waste!
*Turns off TV*
Chewing gum for the eyes!

Dougal:
Er, no thanks Ted.

DrGreggles

Quote from: Leon-C on July 07, 2020, 03:31:03 AM
From Father Ted

Ted:
Right Dougal, come on, you can't sit here watching television all night, it's a big waste!
*Turns off TV*
Chewing gum for the eyes!

Dougal:
Er, no thanks Ted.

Arthur wrote that bit.

MikkiDisco

"Uncle Gob, was Aunt Lindsay ever pregnant?"

"Oh yeah, dozens of times"

alan nagsworth

I've been rewatching PhoneShop again recently, it's a bit of a headache in places but I maintain it's a solid sitcom with a great cast. Watching the series 3 opener last night when everyone unwittingly eats a load of weed muffins, one particular line from an extremely pranged out Ashley has had me laughing so much:

"I done a fart, and I didn't know what it was. I started crying because I couldn't understand it."


All Surrogate

Ah yeah, David Hoyle is fantastic, græskar. This Melancholic Youth bit is one of my favourites, packed with venom at political complacency. The whole thing need to be watched to appreciate the rhythm, so it's hard to pick a line out of context, but

"... and, yeah, emboldened by wine, I asked a question ..."

(around midway through) says so much in so few words.

madhair60

If we're doing American Dad, I have to nominate this one

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XKP8cBd0650

Something on your mind, champ?

Utter Shit

Quote from: alan nagsworth on July 10, 2020, 10:38:58 AM
I've been rewatching PhoneShop again recently, it's a bit of a headache in places but I maintain it's a solid sitcom with a great cast. Watching the series 3 opener last night when everyone unwittingly eats a load of weed muffins, one particular line from an extremely pranged out Ashley has had me laughing so much:

"I done a fart, and I didn't know what it was. I started crying because I couldn't understand it."

Phoneshop was so good, ridiculously underrated. Has Martin Trenaman ever been bad in anything?

petril

Phoneshop's one of those ones I've not actually seen again since I ditched linear telly. by that point it was one of them ones you get kinda fed up watching because it was on the idle repeats merry-go-round of 10-3 telly so I'd just be constantly catching the odd half an episode and stuff all the time. Should bung it on the list of things to rewatch since it's been a while

Benjaminos

Quote from: Utter Shit on July 21, 2020, 05:28:24 PM
Phoneshop was so good, ridiculously underrated. Has Martin Trenaman ever been bad in anything?

Fletch, in the Porridge remake? (I'm assuming, haven't watched it obviously, who the fuck would)

edit: oh, he's not fletch. told you i hadn't seen it.

sevendaughters

was just out on a bike ride and puffing up a long winding hill when a line from Bottom which I still don't really even "get" came to mind:

"I'll see you in a mo! A sex mo!"

Written down I realise it's pure delivery but christ I was winded laughing.

bgmnts

"I've been to Morocco it's shite they stare at ya."

Rizla

Quote from: Utter Shit on July 21, 2020, 05:28:24 PM
Phoneshop was so good, ridiculously underrated. Has Martin Trenaman ever been bad in anything?

I seem to remember a v funny scene where one of the characters got stoned and danced to the QI theme, or did I make that up?

The Mollusk

Quote from: Rizla on July 22, 2020, 02:31:38 PM
I seem to remember a v funny scene where one of the characters got stoned and danced to the QI theme, or did I make that up?

Haha, I'm trying to recall the scene now and you might be right. If it's not the QI theme then it's some other shitty pleasant library reggae.

Fuck it I'm gonna start a PhoneShop thread. FUCK IT.