How do I Know If Girls Like Me?

[DeezNuts]

Genuine Question - How Do I Know If Girls Like Me?

So basically I'm talking to 2 girls atm and I can't tell if either of them like me.

Girl 1 always talks about how she appreciates me and I brighten her day and she's so glad she met me. She also ends all of her messages with hearts and we message multiple times a day.

Girl 2 always says things like "We r married" and "I'm your bitch". She also always hugs me and has kissed me on the cheek before. She's also grabbed my ass/Spanked me multiple times before (Which side note idk if i like cos I haven't really decided if I'm entirely into her.)

Other girls also act like Girl 2 minus the physical aspect.

Does this mean either girl likes me + others who act like Girl 2?

[Zero Gravitas]

Both sound likely to hold you in romantic regard.

To remove all doubt get them to fight each other.

If they both decline then it wasn't meant to be.
if one seems up for it but the other declines that's your beau identified.
If they both go through with it pick the one that seemed to fight the most passionately, but keep the other in reserve in case the good fighter won't go through with some specific sexual act that you think you'd quite enjoy.

[imitationleather]

I have a similar thing happening in my life. One of them is Ash Sarkar and the other in Zarah Sultana. They reckon they're going to have a pillow fight in their pyjamas to decide which one of them gets to marry me.

[Zero Gravitas]

Always with the infighting, such a shame,

[DJ Bob Hoskins]

My wallet's too small for my fifties, and my diamond shoes are too tight.

[idunnosomename]

I have a similar thing happening in my life. One of them is Ash Sarkar and the other in Zarah Sultana. They reckon they're going to have a pillow fight in their pyjamas to decide which one of them gets to marry me.

can i marry the loser

[beanheadmcginty]

She also ends all of her messages with hearts

Although they look like hearts at first glance, they're actually cartoon representations of the human bellend, separated from the shaft so that there's no doubt whatsoever about the message they're intended to convey.

[DeezNuts]

Although they look like hearts at first glance, they're actually cartoon representations of the human bellend, separated from the shaft so that there's no doubt whatsoever about the message they're intended to convey.

😂

[DJ Bob Hoskins]

I suspect you've considered this method already, but you could always wryly enquire as to each lady's preference vis-à-vis tapes vs CDs.

[Armed Traffic Warden]

Do an experiment.


Tell each that 2 years ago you murdered a homeless man. You buried him on top of a grave/coffin that was yet to be filled in. You filled it in. Then say that you've discovered the partner of the coffin dudes wife has died and is to be buried on top of her husband and you need help digging and removing the decomposing homeless man's body.

If she's willing to help, she fancies you. If not, bin her off; you've no time for time wasters.

[DeezNuts]

Do an experiment.


Tell each that 2 years ago you murdered a homeless man. You buried him on top of a grave/coffin that was yet to be filled in. You filled it in. Then say that you've discovered the partner of the coffin dudes wife has died and is to be buried on top of her husband and you need help digging and removing the decomposing homeless man's body.

If she's willing to help, she fancies you. If not, bin her off; you've no time for time wasters.

Cheers bro I'll be sure to use this and let you know if it works...

[Buelligan]

Can I shock you?  I don't think either of them have the smallest regard for you. 

Impossible to comprehend why but there it is.  You are unloved.

[monkfromhavana]

Joust! Joust! Joust! Joust!

[The Ombudsman]

Can I shock you?  I don't think either of them have the smallest regard for you. 

Impossible to comprehend why but there it is.  You are unloved.

I lean more on this line of thinking.

I don't mean this as harshly as it sounds and I think it applies to me too, but to me it's likely they see you as 'safe' so perhaps let their guard down with you and treat you more like a friend than colleague. I think those of us not picking up on the signs others perhaps see view this behaviour as something it's not. My advice from no experience whatsoever would be to play it super cool and wait for a concrete, unambiguous tell they do actually like you sex-wise. No harm can come from being a gentleman and waiting.

Edit to say, if you can get them to fight in the car park one lunchtime then that's a perfect tell.

[Neville Chamberlain]

I was talking to this bloke in the pub, years ago this was, and he said the surest sign that a lady fancies you is if they lift up their arms and show you their armpits. Not deliberately, like, more sort of subconsciously, just lots of lifting their arms to adjust their hair and what-not when they're talking to you.

Do they do that?

[Claude the Racecar Driving Rockstar Super Sleuth]

No harm can come from being a gentleman and waiting.

Except she might start going out with someone else.

[dontpaintyourteeth]

The best thing to do is smoke weed with them

[Pijlstaart]

Don't court them like the hated grandparents of old, we're all too weirdly shaped and hobbled to wander down the promenade now, we have to adapt to new ways of living. You've got to subliminally work them into a sex frenzy, make loud sucking noises when their heads are turned away and mouth the names of erogenous zones at them whilst they're speaking. Take your clothes off and say a ghost did it. All plausibly deniable, but you're planting a seed, very cunning, very sly and it can be the basis for a long and fulfilling relationship.

[The Ombudsman]

Except she might start going out with someone else.

Yeah, hadn't thought of that.

[Joe Qunt]

"Do you like me? Y/N?" on a piece of paper to each.

Alternatively, keep going with both of them. Just don't get caught playing offside.

[Johnny Yesno]

can i marry the loser

Harsh, but he might go for it when he realises Ash and Zarah aren't interested.

[badaids]

Didn't Whitney Houston write a song about this subject?

[Armed Traffic Warden]

There's only one way to know. There's only ever been one scientifically proven method:

Find a 12 year old girl having a sleepover.

Get yourself invited.

Invite the lady you desire.

Once there, engage in child banter. "Yeah, Zoe Cartwrong is like SO gonna get chucked by Tommy Backscatcher if he makes the team," - this kinda thing.

Hold fire through spin the bottle, your moment will come.

Eventually, they'll break it out. The reason you came. The Paper Fortune Teller; it will tell you everything you need to know. But be wary, it's powers are strong but unpredictable.

You may not come out alive. I should know, for I used to be of flesh and bone like you; now I am a digestive biscuit. The day of dunking approaches us all. Repent, sinner. Reject the chocolate coated side in favour of the plain and pure.

Sorry about the preaching. I'm training to be a Bourbon Baptist Priest.

[Paul Calf]

Do an experiment.


Tell each that 2 years ago you murdered a homeless man. You buried him on top of a grave/coffin that was yet to be filled in. You filled it in. Then say that you've discovered the partner of the coffin dudes wife has died and is to be buried on top of her husband and you need help digging and removing the decomposing homeless man's body.

If she's willing to help, she fancies you. If not, bin her off; you've no time for time wasters.

What if they both say yes?

[Armed Traffic Warden]

What if they both say yes?

 C'mon, it's not rocket science.

 You murder two homeless people, bury them and then dig them up, 1 to each girl, using any and all bodily fluids the corpse provide as lube. Maybe utilise the eyes as snowballs and have a slow montage scene where you lob them as each other, laughing until you fall back down exhausted, into the corpses entrails and make love again.

Then bin off the one with the smelliest fanny. Unless you like that.

Or, you tell them you were joking and just choose the one you prefer as a human being. Whatever.

[Fr.Bigley]

The fact that you're asking a forum made up primarily of balding, fat, divorced arseholes should give you your answer...no, they aren't interested.

[DeezNuts]

Girl 1 sent me nudes. I'm gonna hazard a guess and say she likes me.

[madhair60]

neither of them like you. in fact they consider you something of a wretch

[Bennett Brauer]

I was talking to this bloke in the pub, years ago this was, and he said the surest sign that a lady fancies you is if they lift up their arms and show you their armpits. Not deliberately, like, more sort of subconsciously, just lots of lifting their arms to adjust their hair and what-not when they're talking to you.

Do they do that?

[bgmnts]

Girl 1 sent me nudes. I'm gonna hazard a guess and say she likes me.

Nah she's probably talking to about 6 other lads at this moment. Don't put your eggs in one basket.