Euphoria III: Despite the Times.

[Pingers]

A zoo's red panda breeding programme goes so unexpectedly well that, having completely restored the wild population, they're now giving them away as pets

[Glebe]

Relax, you're getting a mega-bonus and I'm planning a lovely holiday for you after the covid subsides. In the meantime, put y'feet up with a beer and allow me to cook you a Sunday roast while you enjoy a marathon watch of your favourite sitcom!

[spaghetamine]

You get consensually rogered by the man of your dreams

[Glebe]

You get consensually rogered by the man of your dreams

Makes a smashing spag bol after too. And I'm not even gay!

[Glebe]

Existential anxiety becomes a thing of the past, and you enjoy the rest of your life to the full!

[Glebe]

Warm, soft hay, beautiful starlight, joyous, loved feelings!

[Pingers]

You are woken at 6 a.m. by the sound of someone trying to break into your front room. You unlock the door and fling it open, to see the perp scarper down the street. Then you realise you are just in time to put the bins out that you forgot to do last night!

[Glebe]

You are woken at 6 a.m. by the sound of someone trying to break into your front room. You unlock the door and fling it open, to see the perp scarper down the street. Then you realise you are just in time to put the bins out that you forgot to do last night!

You then notice a cheeky seagull fly off into dawn, with a 'generous' wink! "Caw! Caw!"

[Glebe]

Fancy a puddin'? Enjoy!

[Glebe]

Syd Little accepts your friend request.

[Glebe]

You wake up inside a giant candy floss and have to eat your way out.

[Glebe]

Breakfast with all the trimmin's. Take the day off - have a bonus! - lots of treats in store, great nice one mate grand thanks.

[Glebe]

All The Flumps appeared at your bedside this morning and gave you all the best in future endeavours.

[batwings]

Misjudging a bow, Nigel Farage full-on head-buts the Queen at Trump's funeral.

[Glebe]

A legal discrepancy results in you (somehow) owning all the world's big corporations. You shut them down and give all the money to save the world.

[dissolute ocelot]

A legal discrepancy results in you (somehow) owning all the world's big corporations. You shut them down and give all the money to save the world.

Amazon's delivery drones overthrow Jeff Bezos, liberate the human workers, and create a post-scarcity utopian society where human and droid can live in harmony.

[Pingers]

You drift off to a peaceful sleep during Bob Ross programme.

[Glebe]

Your day is given a boost when you spot Mark Williams browsing around your local Tesco Express singing the Supergran theme.*

*Which was nice.

[frajer]

You inherit a hot air balloon with the stipulation you must traverse the skies of the Low Lands with regular pit-stops for booze and scratch cards. The BBC are very interested.

[Glebe]

Free macaques for all!

[Glebe]

All anxiety, guilt and shame lifts and you move forward with your life with hope in your heart!

[Glebe]

Massive dump, dinner and a movie.

[Glebe]

A huge owl trundles around Coventry dispensing advice and wisdom.

[Glebe]

Here, have a thousand pounds.

[Glebe]

Your IBS sorts itself out and your nervous system relaxes and you ascend to Nirvana.

[frajer]

You lose your train ticket but find it in your back pocket just as the conductor enters the carriage and says, "All tickets, please."

[Glebe]

You lose your train ticket but find it in your back pocket just as the conductor enters the carriage and says, "All tickets, please."

And loads of other people incur fines for not having tickets, making you feel even better about yourself.

Plus a gorgeous woman catches your eye and has a quickie with you in the loos.

[frajer]

And loads of other people incur fines for not having tickets, making you feel even better about yourself.

Plus a gorgeous woman catches your eye and has a quickie with you in the loos.

Avoiding fines and feeling fine. Life doesn't get much sweeter.

[Glebe]

Avoiding fines and feeling fine. Life doesn't get much sweeter.

Yes it does! You enjoy a lovely sticky bun from the buffet carriage!

[frajer]

Yes it does! You enjoy a lovely sticky bun from the buffet carriage!

Quickie and a sticky?? Holy moly, this commute is shaping up tremendously.