Things your dad is still doing.

[Glebe]

Your dad has just got Disney+ and is disgruntled to find the + doesn't mean grumble.

"I thought it meant Disney After Dark or something. Disney Late Nights. Disney plus a bit of something extra. Come on, they know what they're implying. You still there, son?"

"Dad, it's in the high twenties out there! Come out to the garden, I've made ice tea!"

"Leave that curtain closed, there's a shine on the TV! There may not be porn on here but I'm binge-watching Loki and turning into a Marvel nutter!"

[selectivememory]

Your dad's not coping well in the heat, you discover after his neighbour's latest TikTok goes viral:

https://mobile.twitter.com/WelshSocialism/status/1549357986447073285

[Glebe]

Your dad's not coping well in the heat, you discover after his neighbour's latest TikTok goes viral:

https://mobile.twitter.com/WelshSocialism/status/1549357986447073285

UK version of Sesame Street gets Oscar the Grouch totally wrong.

[frajer]

Your dad is casting a fishing rod across the living room and aiming for your mouth.

"Ow! Fuck off you mad twat."

"I'm fishing for compliments, son!"

"Yeah so you've said. This live action Catchphrase idea is the fucking pits."

Norman, shaved and painted yellow in a purple neckerchief, nods glumly.

[Glebe]

"Yeah so you've said. This live action Catchphrase idea is the fucking pits."

Norman, shaved and painted yellow in a purple neckerchief, nods glumly.

"I think we"ll call it a day Norm."

"Phew."

[drummersaredeaf]

Your dad keeps pointing the TV remote at you and huffing when the buttons have no effect.

[frajer]

Your dad is trimming his eyebrows because Norman said he looked like a scary owl.

"He's a harsh critic, but he knows style. He was the first man in Melton Mowbray to own a denim jacket."

[Dannyhood91]

Getting kicked of the library for printing off 780 pictures of Lenny Henry

"I don't see what I've done wrong the man's a national treasure"

[jenna appleseed]

Getting kicked of the library for printing off 780 pictures of Lenny Henry

"I don't see what I've done wrong the man's a national treasure"

Your Dad's not wrong, but cutting them out and forcing everyone to wear Lenny's face was going a little bit too far.

[Glebe]

Your dad is trimming his eyebrows because Norman said he looked like a scary owl.

[frajer]

Norm chuckles. "Hey your dad, there's a gif of you! Or is it cif these days?"

Your dad shrugs. "God alone knows, I can't bloody keep track of anything. I'd lose my own knob if it wasn't attached to this bit of string!"

You steadfastly refuse to look.

"It's like I've lassoed a Tremor!"

Not looking, not looking.

[Glebe]

"WHY IS THERE A DIFFERENT DOCTOR STRANGE?"

"Shhh! Just watch the movie Dad and you'll find out."

"OH WANDA WITCH IS IN THIS ONE!"

"Excuse me sir, if you don't keep it down I'm going to have to ask you to leave."

"AH SOD THIS I'M GOING HOME TO WATER ME AZALEAS! YOU CAN HAVE THE REST OF ME REVELS SON!"

[drummersaredeaf]

Your dad refers to driving the Insignia without 'the cushion' as going bareback.

[frajer]

Your dad is flicking peanuts at Norman's head and insisting it's that massive muscly bloke sat at the bar. "Go and tell him to stop, Norm. He looks like he'll respect a strongly worded reproach."

[Glebe]

"...and the fox took one look at me and scarpered!"

"Haha, that was quote an amusing anecdote, Dad! What about you Norm, have you any interesting tales a to tell?"

"I GOT STUNG OFF A DEAD BEE IN 1992!"

[Glebe]

"Retirement is really boring son."

"Why don't you start building a model railway in the attic dad?"

"Pfft, that's such an old-fashioned 'dad' hobby! Nah mate in case you hadn't noticed I've been busy creating the ultimate gaming PC. But yeah even that gets like soooo boring at times man!"

[frajer]

Your dad asks what a banjo string is and when you tell him he nods once and says "Norman'll need an ambulance then."

[Glebe]

Your dad is singing 'Give Me Hope Jo'anna' down the phone.

"You're not likely to get Mum back that way, dad."

[Glebe]

Your dad has a Neighbours finale party. It's just him and Norm, naturally.

"I'll tell you what Kylie is still well fit!"

"Sniff... this is no time for such levity Norm! WE WILL NEVER SEE RAMSEY STREET AGAIN!"

[Glebe]

"Just off to see Where the Crawdaddies Sing, son!"

"It's 'Crawdads'."

"Whatever! At last, a movie for (Craw)daddies!"

[frajer]

"Just off to see Where the Crawdaddies Sing, son!"

"It's 'Crawdads'."

"Whatever! At last, a movie for (Craw)daddies!"

"I'm the crawdaddy now!"

"Shut up Norman, you're creeping my son out!"

[Glebe]

"I'm the Crawfather... twisted Crawfather... yeah!"

Buy you've left. Your dad stands in the hall feeling rather foolish.

"Really need to sort y'self out mate," he tells himself. "No wonder the grandkids don't like me. Except when I give them money, the little bastard and bitch!"

[Sherringford Hovis]

Dad still bangs on about the KitKat Chunky that was solid chocolate that he ate 20 years ago.

[Kankurette]

Your dad wants to know what pegging is, and if Prince William has taken an interest in laundry or selling lucky heather.

[Glebe]

"What do you think of the England Womens' team beating Germany, Dad."

"Yeah son, at last," he mutters before going quiet and folding his arms over his cardigan.

"Must get that shed roof fixed... _{bloody women}..."

[drummersaredeaf]

Your dad created an NFT of his wedding photos and is worried Norm has a legal stake in your mum

[Glebe]

Your dad wants to know what pegging is, and if Prince William has taken an interest in laundry or selling lucky heather.

"I'll tell you so something I bet Prince William always has enough pegs for his washing line! Peasants like us have to keep buying more 'cos the blooming things keep disappearing! Just an observation!"

"You should do stand-up Dad!"

"Thanks son, I'll take it under consideration!"

[Glebe]

Your dad makes his own VR headset by Blu Tacking a Nintendo Donkey Kong handheld to the front of a bicycle helmet.

[frajer]

Your dad thinks he's due a big cash windfall. "I've had itchy balls all week. That means money, doesn't it?"

"Might be those new novelty boxers dad. The ones with the fake pube topiary."

"Well lotto win or boxers, either way I'm laughing!"

[Glebe]

Your dad thinks he's due a big cash windfall. "I've had itchy balls all week. That means money, doesn't it?"

"Might be those new novelty boxers dad. The ones with the fake pube topiary."

"Well lotto win or boxers, either way I'm laughing!"

"Even just a crisp fiver or a tasty tenner!"

"Dad, take your hand out of your underpants."