Cricket 2022: The Thuglife Era (Stokes, Woakes, Foakes, and plenty of chokes)

[FalknerHinton]

I'd rather watch that than The Hundred™️

[king_tubby]

Thug Life has retired from ODIs.

[poo]

It's a whole cunting month until we get another test. This short form stuff is fucking drenthe.

[shoulders]

BCCI is entirely to blame for all of this. Cricket will eventually just be rounders with 1.8 billion people screaming and synchronistically banging their heads on a drum as Premier Mecha Kohli's reanimated holocorpse sprays dogshit out of his mecha urethra to keep them headbanging in dutiful ecstasy.

It is a vortex just consuming everything in its path.

Anyway, Sri Lanka in a good position to fight for another test win here with Chandimal putting on more runs after his heroics against Australia. 333 ahead. Has been a gripping test.

[iamcoop]

Usually I'd assume we'd piss 333 in a chase but this lot have recently been dabbling in sexual relationships with minors so I'm going to assume we'll lose.

[Inspector Norse]

Ben Duckett and Haseeb Hameed have gone absolute prehistoric apeshit against Derbyshire. Partnership nearly 400 on the first day.

[shoulders]

SA have got this, I reckon.

[shoulders]

Ben Duckett and Haseeb Hameed have gone absolute prehistoric apeshit against Derbyshire. Partnership nearly 400 on the first day.

Fucking brutal temperatures to be steaming in to bowl to be fair.

[Thursday]

Probably best Stokes is stepping down.

[Phil Colons]

Test recall for Hameed or too many technical flaws ?
Genuinely want him to get that 1st Test century. Had to rebuild his entire career. Comes across as a really modest and likeable person.

[rjd2]

This bowling attack won't win England  much ,,need Archer, Wood and Woakesy back.

Impressive score from South Africa, no sixes in this heat and easily cleared 300.

[shoulders]

Always one format saved for Root to stand out among a sea of mediocrity.

Whisper it but Buttler strikes me as a dog turd choice of captain and Mott is out of his depth.

[rjd2]

Not sure about Livingstone either, was 10 an over required today so he had to go hard quickly but his ODI numbers not great so far. He probably gets a pass due to his all round skills especially with Stokes gone.

No issue with him in the t20 side, assuming the world cup is roads then he will have fun.

[Inspector Norse]

Hard to see what the fuck Moeen is supposed to bring to the side.
Career batting average of 25 and bowling average of 50, neither his batting strike rate nor his bowling economy are anything particularly amazing in the modern game, and yet he's a key player apparently and being considered for a test recall.

[shoulders]

Hard to see what the fuck Moeen is supposed to bring to the side.
Career batting average of 25 and bowling average of 50, neither his batting strike rate nor his bowling economy are anything particularly amazing in the modern game, and yet he's a key player apparently and being considered for a test recall.

Generally economical and dangerous at 7 or 8 (although as you say, not often enough).

ODI's are such a batman's game now that someone who can plug in a 1-50 over and over again is likely to be chosen over a more erratic but dangerous performer.

Looking at the side at the minute it looks stale and washed up as fuck, not helped by Livingstone squandering his opportunity and looking like this generation's Luke Wright.

Bear in mind our Lions side beat the almost identical side comfortably the other week and played the sort of cricket Bayliss and Morgan set up.

[Inspector Norse]

I don't think 5.5 an over is economical enough when he doesn't get wickets - seems more just an easily-milked middle overs spinner to help batters get set for end-of-innings fuckdown. I don't think there's any need for him with Livingstone and Root both able bowlers (although Stokes' retirement does weaken England's top-order bowling options).

[shoulders]

People are arguing for an extra batter but it's not that kind of a problem. The batsmen are performing well under the standards they're capable of and playing like cunts in the process.

I honestly think we should move on and pick more batsmen with points to prove. Livingstone gone unless he provides runs as a reason to keep him in the side pretty fucking soon. Don't really fancy Buttler as captain at all.

[iamcoop]

Buttler as captain is going to end in tears.

Morgan was a solid cunt. Jos' lip wobbles too much.

Buttler doing anything other than See Ball Hit Ball is bad news. Put some stern cunt in.

[Cuellar]

Moeen for capt

[shoulders]

Pakistan knocked off the 344 runs no trouble.

Teams are going to automatically bowl first at this rate. Test cricket turned on its head.

Pakistan also batted properly at a run rate of 2.7, with no need for England type 'reinvent the game' aggression.

Sri Lanka offered precious little outside of Chandimal and Jayasuriya's towering performances so perhaps they did deserve to lose.

[shoulders]

Will Jacks with a masterful lower order innings there. I thought they would be all out for about 200.
Moved from 100 to 150 in 16 balls.

[shoulders]

A bit clueless, this.

Last month does make you think there's more to this than just clearing your head and looking for the positive option.

That Livingstone over was monumentally brainless having already plundered 22 runs from it.

Not being able to bat out 29 overs is worrying, but worse still, not realising that losing wickets at regular intervals is cancer for run rate.

[shoulders]

Fucking pigeon!!!!

[king_tubby]

I was at that game where Jaques Rudolph cunted a pigeon to death throwing the ball back from the boundary.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=44-D-zJvw1c ball back from the boundary.

[shoulders]

18-4

Right, ummm

Ok

[king_tubby]

They've recovered well from 6-4 then.

[iamcoop]

South Paedica

[shoulders]

WOAKESYYY to SLOT BACK IN when he returns

[Thursday]

Look obviously I've no experience batting or bowling on a cricket pitch, so I don't know what I'm talking about but I reckon it's pathetic how often players whine about distant crowd activity.

[Cuellar]

At least it'll be funny when England manage to lose this