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Lines of comedy that have inexplicably sat in your subconscious ever since

Started by Replies From View, June 25, 2022, 12:17:13 PM

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Replies From View

"the only thing that French people won't eat is Clorets"

I can't remember who said this, but it was a line in someone's stand-up in the 90s, I think.

I have no idea what it means, whether it was referencing something or a wider cultural observation.  But I have remembered it ever since and it annoys me.  Hopefully by forcing it into your brain cells it will now annoy me less.

bgmnts

"Beckenbauer obviously a bit of a surprise there."

I will replace Beckenbauer for any person or object I find surprising and I can't even remember when I started it.

neveragain

Quote from: Replies From View on June 25, 2022, 12:17:13 PM"the only thing that French people won't eat is Clorets"

I can't remember who said this, but it was a line in someone's stand-up in the 90s, I think.

I have no idea what it means, whether it was referencing something or a wider cultural observation.  But I have remembered it ever since and it annoys me.  Hopefully by forcing it into your brain cells it will now annoy me less.

I'm guessing it means they have bad breath, but that's based on the assumption that Clorets are mints.

Replies From View

I think Clorets are/were mints, yeah.

It was the choice of verb as well.  I know people do eat mints - it's probably the main thing people do with them - but it just sounds odd to me to talk about "eating" mints or specifically Clorets.

I can't even think of a better verb.  Or a comparison that'll help you to understand why it feels odd to me.

Maybe I feel like it's comparable to saying "the only thing that Spanish people won't drink is Vicks cough syrup".  Because even though, yes people "drink" the medicine it just doesn't fit somehow, an image of someone "drinking" medicine when what they're doing is sipping it from a spoon.

But people "take" medicine and they don't "take" mints; there probably isn't a viable alternative to "eating" mints so I really don't know what the fuck I'm talking about.  It's not like I'm saying the joke should be "the only thing French people won't suck is Clorets".  It doesn't change the issue.  I don't even know what the issue is or if there is an issue.  I just don't know!

Listen - something about the shitty Clorets joke made it sit in my subconscious ever since.  Probably about 30 years by this point.  And I think some of the above might be why.  That is all I know for certain and it is all I can confidently state.


Help me

Replies From View

I think it might have been a David Baddiel joke.

The tape recorder in my head is feeding it out now in David Baddiel's voice.


Is this one step closer.  Is this what it is.

Pavlov`s Dog`s Dad`s Dead

"And here's your prize, a lovely cake."

Ted Bovis, to the winner of a cake-eating competition. I still maintain it's quite a funny line, even if it's a bit route one, but I'm not sure it deserves to be preserved for posterity. Nevertheless, it has stuck with me ever since it went out in its broadcasting slot - what, some forty years ago? - and it recurs to me every time I think I've got to the end of a monotonous task, only to realise there's more left to do.

Manny saying "fell off my chair to some extent" in Black Books seems to have stuck around enough in my brain for two decades for me to use it for any mishap, big or small. ie "dropped my pen to some extent."

Ferris


C_Larence

"ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT, I'LL WALK IN THE MUD"

I can hear it in my head clear as day. It's not even a funny line it's just a distinctive line read.


Cold Meat Platter

Clorets were specifically a breath freshening mint and the lazy hack stereotype of the French is that they smell, have garlic breath and eat anything that moves even slightly (eg snails). The French are so intransigent in their stereotypical ways re. personal hygiene that they refuse any attempt to help them, in this case being unwilling to ingest the cloret. To the hack mind this creates an irony due to the lack of discrimination as to what they call a foodstuff that they wrongly ascribe to the French.

Solid Jim

"I slept longer than I anticipated."

I once found myself explaining a lapse in punctuality without consciously realising I was quoting Peter O'Hanraha-hanrahan.

Twilkes

Mostly lines from Jasper Carrott albums.

Ding ding ding dirty screws, I wish I'd drunk the tea first, rubbish it's all over the canteen, I thought they're not having any fish and chips, call yourself a dog I've seen more hair on a lavatory brush, that sort of thing. Hard-wired into my brain from the age of 4.


Pink Gregory


Stand up bit from the 90's (I can't remember who) about pissing on a piece of shit stuck to the inside of the toilet bowl until it dislodged when they were a guest at someone's house - it ended with the stand up saying to himself "You're welcome".

I say to myself You're welcome" everytime I get the opportunity to do this.

Edit - maybe an Australian comedian from around then?

Tony Tony Tony

Whenever I meet anyone with the name Geoffrey I hear Paula Wilcox cooing her pet name for Richard Beckinsale in 70s ITV sitcom The Lovers.

Geoffrey Bubbles Bon Bon.

Ferris

Quote from: Pink Gregory on June 25, 2022, 02:49:08 PM"It's not finished."

"It's finished"


every time

I was dragged to see a post-modern Canadian opera in a basement arts space a few years back (don't ask) and it was like that Walliams character but for about 45 minutes and everyone took it so ludicrously seriously.

I still think about it and chuckle.

Pink Gregory

Quote from: Ferris on June 25, 2022, 03:05:47 PMI was dragged to see a post-modern Canadian opera in a basement arts space a few years back (don't ask) and it was like that Walliams character but for about 45 minutes and everyone took it so ludicrously seriously.

I still think about it and chuckle.

Wandering about a gallery muttering 'hey deadhead...takeabaddapeach' to anyone who'll react.

Quote from: Replies From View on June 25, 2022, 12:17:13 PM"the only thing that French people won't eat is Clorets"

I can't remember who said this, but it was a line in someone's stand-up in the 90s, I think.


I'm almost certain it was Gervais in one of his earliest sets. I can hear him saying it.

Quote from: Replies From View on June 25, 2022, 12:17:13 PM"the only thing that French people won't eat is Clorets"

I can't remember who said this, but it was a line in someone's stand-up in the 90s, I think.

I have no idea what it means, whether it was referencing something or a wider cultural observation.  But I have remembered it ever since and it annoys me.  Hopefully by forcing it into your brain cells it will now annoy me less.

I remember this joke I think and I believe it was Ricky Gervais. Can't remember where from but it was cos he was talking about having a French name or something. I might be completely wrong.

Andy147

It was as suggested Ricky Gervais, on Room 101 (putting "babies in restaurants" in) - you can see it here.

Catalogue Trousers

'Jamesh Bond shmokesh thesesh, y'know!'

As delivered by Christopher Ryan as Mike in the Cash episode of The Young Ones, smugly, straight to camera, and in an appalling Sean Connery impersonation while puffing on a big cigar.

Not an inherently hilarious line (though I think that it's funny), but took residence in my subconscious decades ago and pops up every so often, especially if I am smoking a cigar myself.

Replies From View

Quote from: Andy147 on June 25, 2022, 03:54:17 PMIt was as suggested Ricky Gervais, on Room 101 (putting "babies in restaurants" in) - you can see it here.

Thanks to everyone for that detective work.  Bit annoyed it was only 20 years ago, but it seems unlikely he would have knicked that.  If there had been no way of finding the true source I would have put money on mid-90s David Baddiel.

Quote from: Better Midlands on June 25, 2022, 02:52:03 PMStand up bit from the 90's (I can't remember who) about pissing on a piece of shit stuck to the inside of the toilet bowl until it dislodged when they were a guest at someone's house - it ended with the stand up saying to himself "You're welcome".

I say to myself You're welcome" everytime I get the opportunity to do this.

Edit - maybe an Australian comedian from around then?

Don't know, although it is on record that Peter Cook  told a similar story as part of a routine when appearing at the Establishment Club in the 60s.

kalowski

Whenever someone says something blindingly obvious I say to myself (or to my wife, who's heard it many times):

He was on The Last Resort with Jonathan Ross. Before that he was on Tonight with Jonathan Ross. It's Jonathan Ross.

Stigdu

"That's you, that is."

I remember a particularly funny History Today where David Baddiel is reading an excerpt from a book to Rob Newman about a hideously deformed man. It goes on for what seems like ages, then he pauses as he reaches the end of the page, licks his thumb (I think) and goes to turn the page.

The audience is already laughing at this point, as we know whats coming next. Would love to see this clip again if anyone can find it!

Andy147

Quote from: Stigdu on June 25, 2022, 04:46:16 PM"That's you, that is."

I remember a particularly funny History Today where David Baddiel is reading an excerpt from a book to Rob Newman about a hideously deformed man. It goes on for what seems like ages, then he pauses as he reaches the end of the page, licks his thumb (I think) and goes to turn the page.

The audience is already laughing at this point, as we know whats coming next. Would love to see this clip again if anyone can find it!

History Today compilation. Rob Newman reading the book is at about 5:40.

Replies From View

"Shut up and eat your quiche, you pretentious little prick."

- from one of Billy Connolly's stand-up shows.  Probably in one of his World Tour of Australia episodes.

Spudgun

I can't refer to the world's northernmost capital without saying "Reykjavik comma Iceland full-stop".

Cold Meat Platter

I always refer to fish and chips as fish neh chips after the line in Red Dwarf series 3.