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August 08, 2022, 01:39:06 AM

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Star Trek: Deep Space Nine Rewatch

Started by Lemming, August 01, 2022, 02:25:41 AM

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My incredibly important research has found that Bajor is about noted as 3 to 5 hours away from DS9 by crappy Bajoran shuttle. There seems some confusion as to whether the wormhole orbits the sun or not. If it doesn't neither does DS9 and the distance from the station to Bajor changes constantly: even if it does Bajor and the station wouldn't be in the same orbit.

Zero Gravitas

I'm trying to compile my thoughts but I keep coming back to Sisko and a 60 year old Curzon getting thrown around like empty tracksuits.

Chairman Yang

Quote from: Lemming on August 06, 2022, 03:58:10 AMPrepare yourself for agony - SEASON ONE BASHIR is approaching Dax with amorous intent! Dax is busy dicking around with a CGI SPHERE.

God, Jesus, longest two minutes of my life. Let the girl play Big Orb, you freak! A Man Alone of course refers to Bashir, who will never have sex.

QuoteODO: Killing your own clone is still murder.

Thank the Prophets that Bajor apparently has some laws regarding clones because it's completely bonkers that the Feds grow a man and then I guess let this adult childmind just cut about on Bajor. I'm going to assume he gets a whole series of spin-off books.

This is a bog standard whodunit with the addition of clone stuff to make it Star Trekky. It's pretty slow viewing. A bunch of Bajorans go rabble rabble. Ibudan is a sort of limp bag whose life peaked at wearing a cloak. Keiko... opens a school? It'd be honestly more interesting if Odo had murdered the guy.


Zero Gravitas

A Man Alone

Dax is playing with a big soap bubble on the holosuite set, Julian comes in and is a cringe little shit, Dax feels him up with her cold hands doesn't seem to bother him as after just a few seconds he pops.

Everyone is speculating that Sisko and Dax are shagging, but in reality they're just laughing and joking about ridiculous made up cooking methods and disgusting health foods

Odo gets into a frikase because he's still angry that some dude did some Harry Lime shit during the occupation.

Keiko is rightly feeling as if she's shit and an insufferable nag.

The guy who Odo got into a rollop with earlier is just about to be flipped over when Armus comes in and stabs him in the back.

Hard to tell if she's a simulation or not, she seems to be pushed away and display levels of surprise unnecessary in a holo-rub-and-tug-3000 but whatever she was just about to use those disgusting webbed hands to make the milky come out of a man who's at most 3 hours old, and this is a paedophile, or a hologram of a paedophile.

Goblin child Nog and black child Jake are committing crimes, some kind of tiny crawling dust with a made up name, the effect is to cause furious itching and turn your skin all sorts of flashing colours, the unleash it on a couple of Bajora who get rightly panicked but then within seconds calm down all sheepish like, I'd have longer lasting concerns.

Cute scene with Quark defending the puddle cop, also a great shit eating smile from Zayra.

Turns out Ibudan had smeared his DNA all over the waste disposal unit in his shuttle quarters, rather than seeing where the theme of the episode is going, they stick the residue in a vat and try to grow it.

Sisko tries to reassure Bashir that he and Dax are a couple of horny old friends who definitely don't fuck, telling a lovely story about how they got snu snu from some twin giant runners, sadly he cuts off before getting to the meat, imagination is more than enough for Julian though who nearly produces complex proteins that break down into DNA fragments in his pants.

Oh wait yeah Keiko has zero qualifications as a teacher but manages trick an early and weird Mr. Rom into sending Nog to sit in front of computers in a room while she has her power trip.

A mob corners Odo shouting stuff like "Shape Shifting Freak!" and "Shifter" which are both accurate, Zayra is back being a shit stirring little shit.

The results of the goo they found in Ibudan's quarters are shocking enough to distract Bashir from the mob baying for Odo's goo just across the promenade but we don't find out why.

Sisko faces the mob and uses the word 'Justice' for the second time in the episode so it must be a theme I guess, bashir distracts from this tense standoff with important news, the mob must realise they're interfering with the plot as they just wander off muttering and we get the clone reveal:

There doesn't seem to be any great concern that they've very simply created human bajoran life from a few flecks of cum, and there's the implication that anyone who had gone to prison with a scientist could cook up an adult clone that loves holo-massage in a freighter in the time it takes to travel from Bajor to the station.

Turns out it was Ibudan all along! and he would have gotten away with it too had they not reproduced his cloning process in full, checked his prison co-inmate records and...meddling odo.


They let the new clone wander off, who is either a child-like imbecile or a perfect replication of Ibudan's memories or has been genetically programmed to get sexy massages. Hard to tell as he's just shrugged off.

They mention Justice twice, Odo's justice is a genetic drive of some sort all, his yearning for justice he feels is his sole connection to his race but it's not within the real rule of law on the station, it's justice feelies in his goo, here it's framed against the mob's lynching justice so it seems the better side of the tri-coin but pretty disappointingly concluded. It's a continuing theme how valid this is for Odo, tied into is occupation conduct or here being above the whims of administration not sure it's ever convincing that he's right as much as he's effective.

Perhaps I'm still focused on those 7ft twins but a moderately horny episode, also a good old standalone murder plot if you remove the paper thin occupation framing, and cloning exists, Zayra saved the episode for me with his bar and mob scenes.

But didn't save it too well, 4 Nanas short (long) of a grandma (10).

A Man Alone - 4/10


Quote from: Endicott on August 06, 2022, 11:31:08 AMHaha it's quite clear from the end of ep 2, the station is still right by the wormhole. What a daft thing to forget!

Leaves the question of how the orbital dynamics work. Are they forever having to boost the station to keep it near the wormhole? Are they so far out, Bajor is not a gravitational issue? What is the wormhole's position to the Bajor system as a whole? Does it orbit Bajor's sun?


The Denorios Belt is 160 million km from Bajor which is just over Earth Sun distance. I'm hazarding that it's further out from Bajor's sun than Bajor as it's described as splitting the system into inner and outer, a bit like our asteroid belt.

That's about as much as I can find.

The Bajoran system must be moving through space. My gut feeling is that a wormhole entrance would be fixed, but I can't back that up. Maybe it would fit in with the first orb being found 10,000 years ago, maybe not.  Maybe the Bajoran system is slowly drifting past the wormhole, or maybe the wormhole is moving with the system, or orbiting the sun.



Having the wormhole entrance orbiting Bajor's sun (which appears not to have a well defined name? Just "Bajor"? "Bajor-B'hava'el"?) as normal would help with stuff (DS9 itself, other items they litter the area with) staying nearby. But that demands that Bajor (the planet) would have a variable distance to DS9. Not really a problem in an Impulse Drive universe.

I dunknow, having realistic characters and political settings with depth and development is all well and good, but the writers really phoned it in when it comes to celestial mechanics. Do they even inverse-square law!?


Is it in the pilot we find out that Sisko knew Curzon, or later?

Zero Gravitas

Quote from: elliszeroed on August 06, 2022, 09:02:45 PMIs it in the pilot we find out that Sisko knew Curzon, or later?

Yes in emissary: "I wonder if he'd been as fascinated if you still looked the way you did the last time I saw you."


A Man Alone - S01E03 (yes it fucking is, Netflix!)

(watching live)

Oh boy, this episode is already looking bad. Even when I was a dumb teen watching this, I knew Bashir was a fucking idiot.

Quark/Odo chit chat. Is Odo speaking from experience? Which Klingon opera fan was he dating?

Everybody's gots the hots for Jadzia. Yuck.

Well, Seymour, you steam a good hamazna.

Odo's the Sweeney, and he hasn't had any dinner.

The O'Brien's, living the dream.


Already here, were getting the feeling that Odo is a bit too attached to his job.

The music says this stabbing is bad.

Fucks sake Bashir! I have the social skills of a brick, and even I would pick up on this not working.

It's weird, but both those Bejorans getting the itching powered treatment remind me of Jerry Seinfeld. Like, if you combined them, you'd be spot on.

And now Odo sounds more like Patrick McGoohan, describing the murder scene.

Miles gets an idea how to get 'Er Indoors off his back.

Dead man's computer terminal has VGA 'ringing' issues. Needs a new cable.

Sisko going to give out a spanking.

Odo's voice is off again, not as gruff.

Rom's wrong! But I think he's better like this, rather than his dopey later self.

Shady bar goings on. Never trust a guy in a cloak with his hood up.

This Zayra fella kinda works. Could have been nice to see more of him, get some Bajoran civilian perspective.

Odo lives to work.
Like how they must have used some kind of energy weapon to write the graffiti on Odo's office. a) why no security alerts to that? b) no spray cans in the future?
Quark being a bit too helpful?

Hurry up and be better, Bashir. You suck right now.

Sisko's Snu-Snu reminiscing.



She's a teacher not a town crier, Miles you fool!

Rabble rabble rabble!... of about 12 people. Just set the phaser on stun with a medium wide field. Or, you know, beam Odo out.

Phaser on the promenade, against the rules, mate.

They've just brewed up a clone like it's no big deal. Push him out into society, not our problem any more.


First day of school. Those other kids looked human. Every other species shunning the place for now.

You know, I don't think I'm as down on this episode as some of you. It's good that they switched it out for Past Prologue, which was much stronger. but this one pulls together some of the current tensions the characters are dealing with, everybody unsure of each other.

Still, it's only a 6/10, could maybe be a 7, if not for Bashir the creep.