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Hitchhikers of the world unite

Started by Jockice, August 06, 2022, 09:29:21 AM

Previous topic - Next topic

Jockice

A few days ago I was scrolling through Twitter and came across the notorious Boys Beware video, which for those who haven't seen it was made in the early 60s to warn youngsters of the dangers posed by homosexuals.

The first scene is a teenager who hitchhikes home one day and becomes mates with the bloke who picks him up (Friendly Pat I think he's called) and discovers too late that the elder man wants his cock above all else. Still, at least he escapes alive unlike the next boy.

While watching it the thought crossed my mind that I hadn't seen a hitchhiker for yonks (several years anyway) but yesterday afternoon I was on the M1 and pulled in at a garage to refuel the car and have a shit. It was a big one. I blocked the bog.

And then on my way out I saw a hitchhiker. A bloke probably in his 20s with long hair and a rucksack. He even gave me the thumb up sign. I was quite tempted to stop. But didn't. Because I was leaving the motorway at the next junction anyway, plus the traffic was heavy and I was going to double back and sit for a while in the service station car park. I wouldn't mind chatting to a stranger while driving but having to have a lengthy conversation with one before we'd even set off...

I've never done it myself (never had the need to, plus a female family member says she was sexually assaulted by a lorry driver while doing it once) and have only as far as I remember picked any up once, a couple in the late 90s while driving with my girlfriend at the time (yes, that one!) to Oxford, the place where relationships go to die. It was her idea but I didn't mind, the people we picked up were okay.

So has anyone on here ever done it? Ever picked someone up and regretted it. Or not regretted it and ended up married to them or something? I'll give you a big thumbs up if you tell me.

badaids

Quote from: Jockice on August 06, 2022, 09:29:21 AMA few days ago I was scrolling through Twitter and came across the notorious Boys Beware video, which for those who haven't seen it was made in the early 60s to warn youngsters of the dangers posed by homosexuals.

The first scene is a teenager who hitchhikes home one day and becomes mates with the bloke who picks him up (Friendly Pat I think he's called) and discovers too late that the elder man wants his cock above all else. Still, at least he escapes alive unlike the next boy.

While watching it the thought crossed my mind that I hadn't seen a hitchhiker for yonks (several years anyway) but yesterday afternoon I was on the M1 and pulled in at a garage to refuel the car and have a shit. It was a big one. I blocked the bog.

And then on my way out I saw a hitchhiker. A bloke probably in his 20s with long hair and a rucksack. He even gave me the thumb up sign. I was quite tempted to stop. But didn't. Because I was leaving the motorway at the next junction anyway, plus the traffic was heavy and I was going to double back and sit for a while in the service station car park. I wouldn't mind chatting to a stranger while driving but having to have a lengthy conversation with one before we'd even set off...

I've never done it myself (never had the need to, plus a female family member says she was sexually assaulted by a lorry driver while doing it once) and have only as far as I remember picked any up once, a couple in the late 90s while driving with my girlfriend at the time (yes, that one!) to Oxford, the place where relationships go to die. It was her idea but I didn't mind, the people we picked up were okay.

So has anyone on here ever done it? Ever picked someone up and regretted it. Or not regretted it and ended up married to them or something? I'll give you a big thumbs up if you tell me.

Very interesting, tell us more about this monstrous turd.

Stoneage Dinosaurs

I hitchhiked less than a mile into work a few days ago, from the bottom of the drive of the campus I work on. The trains had fucked up and I wanted to save about half an hour after already walking about a mile from the station. It was a woman who clearly worked at the campus (she got buzzed in by security) and yet my boss still inferred that I was irresponsible and could have been axe crimed. I don't see the problem as I think I have a pretty good handle on how to avoid axe criminals in my every day life.

Tony Tony Tony

Was on the M1 the other day myself and was minded to collect any hitchhikers to help out some fellow humans.

However my whole mood was soured by the bogs at the services having been rendered out of order by some inconsiderate wretch laying a log of prodigious proportions. Instead I mowed down some hairy 20s bloke as I hit the slip road.

Fr.Bigley

Hitchhiked once, was about 20 odd, going to a music festival in landgraff, Holland. Got picked up by two girls headed the same way. One of them was fucking stunning and I mean like Michelle pffeifer in scarface...I had a girlfriend at the time.

Still regret not taking her up on the spliff in their tent.


Tony Tony Tony

Quote from: Stoneage Dinosaurs on August 06, 2022, 09:53:04 AMI hitchhiked less than a mile into work a few days ago, from the bottom of the drive of the campus I work on. The trains had fucked up and I wanted to save about half an hour after already walking about a mile from the station. It was a woman who clearly worked at the campus (she got buzzed in by security) and yet my boss still inferred that I was irresponsible and could have been axe crimed. I don't see the problem as I think I have a pretty good handle on how to avoid axe criminals in my every day life.

All very well but can you avoid a elder lady who wants your cock above all else , eh?

Jockice

#6
Quote from: badaids on August 06, 2022, 09:43:08 AMVery interesting, tell us more about this monstrous turd.

Just check out the disabled toilet at the Esso place on M1 northbound just before the A61 turn-off. It's probably still there. It's their own fault. There was no bog brush so no way I could even try and get rid of it.

Probably my biggest since the one in the works toilet on new year's eve 1999. It was still there when I returned to work after the break. I like to call it the Millennium Dump.

Icehaven

Was on a road trip around Cornwall with some friends back in the late 90s and we picked up a couple of hitchikers who'd been to some music festival and needed to get home which turned out to be about 70 miles away from wherever we were. We'd stopped for them because they were about 15, it was midnight and we figured if we didn't there was a good chance they'd be on milk cartons the following morning, plus we weren't really going anywhere specific, we were just driving around and sleeping in the car so it didn't really matter where we ended up when we decided to kip for the night. Anyway they got home intact and I think we ended up sleeping on Bodmin moor, which was nice.

Lisa Jesusandmarychain

Quote from: Fr.Bigley on August 06, 2022, 10:02:35 AMHitchhiked once, was about 20 odd, going to a music festival in landgraff, Holland. Got picked up by two girls headed the same way. One of them was fucking stunning and I mean like Michelle pffeifer in scarface...I had a girlfriend at the time.

Still regret not taking her up

I was picturing that sentence ending in a completely different way.



Lisa Jesusandmarychain

^ Bah! I wish mine post up there had gone without a " hitch"! >:-(

dissolute ocelot

It still seems quite common in certain areas like northwest Scotland where there are no buses. In the era of mobile phones and mass surveillance it's probably safer now than in the 60s.

I saw a middle-aged man apparently hitchhiking near the Edinburgh bypass a few weeks ago - that was a bit more unusual. I still very occasionally see young people hitching on the main roads out of Edinburgh, but it tends to be a certain type of person, the long hair/rucksack/beard.

Claude the Racecar Driving Rockstar Super Sleuth

I was carrying a large box home once and a family pulled over and offered me a lift. It wasn't all that necessary, since it was only a ten minute walk and the box wasn't actually heavy, plus it only just fit through the car door. It felt rude to turn down their kind offer though. Also, the car had air conditioning.

It could just be Mandela Effect, but I have a vague memory of one of my folks picking up a hitch hiker when I was a kid. A pleasantly upbeat student/hippy type.

I'm not sure if I'd ever pick one up myself. Even if they weren't am axe murderer, I can be rather awkward around strangers and it could be terribly uncomfortable being stuck right next to one for an indefinite length of time.

Sebastian Cobb

^ when I was about 18 we'd been raving and all stopped at a friend's girlfriends who lived in a village, the sattelite type that's just got a post-office with a bus stop opposite that's used about twice a day. I had to leave earlier than the others because I think I had work or something. I'd passed out the night before (I think the rest of the guys were on pills so had more stamina) and my dyslexic mate had managed to misspell 'TWAT' with two A's on my forehead in permanent ink, at least it read the same way in the mirror I suppose, I don't think I did a 100% top job of removing it.

Anyhow while I was sitting in the bus stop some bloke stopped and asked if I was going to the town I was trying to catch a bus to, which I was, so I hopped in. It was good of him to offer me a lift but while he was making small talk he kept probing and it felt like an interrogation to find out which house I was staying at. I think he thought I was a twat for some reason. Didn't get murdered or bummed though so that's a plus.

Vodkafone

I used to hitch fairly often in the late 80s, early 90s (No beer, cigarettes, etc). Usually truckers who just wanted someone to talk to; they were always delighted to hear my revolutionary socialist views on the topics of the day. I feel asleep during quite a few journeys, which probably isn't a good idea, but no harm to my ringpiece was done.

I once hitched from Hull to London for a Throwing Muses gig and everything went without a *cough* hitch so I got there proper early - spent some of the saved train fare on 20 Superkings which I smoked steadily while waiting for the Town & Country to open. Tanya Donnelly said hello when she arrived. We both agreed I was very early indeed.

Having just been in France, I can confirm it is still quite common there. Presumably their media have been slacking off on terrorising their population, the filthy Frogs.


Jockice

Quote from: Icehaven on August 06, 2022, 10:25:40 AMWas on a road trip around Cornwall with some friends back in the late 90s and we picked up a couple of hitchikers who'd been to some music festival and needed to get home which turned out to be about 70 miles away from wherever we were. We'd stopped for them because they were about 15, it was midnight and we figured if we didn't there was a good chance they'd be on milk cartons the following morning, plus we weren't really going anywhere specific, we were just driving around and sleeping in the car so it didn't really matter where we ended up when we decided to kip for the night. Anyway they got home intact and I think we ended up sleeping on Bodmin moor, which was nice.

I once had to find a pub in an area of Sheffield I didn't know on a shitty wet dark misty evening and got totally lost (pre satnav days) so I pulled up and asked a bloke walking along the pavement if he knew where it was. He did and said he'd show me if I gave him a lift. So I told him to hop in. He did but he wasn't going to the pub, he was actually going in totally the opposite direction, so after he'd shown me where the pub was I ended up taking him back to where I'd originally picked him up and then even further away from the pub. To add to his cheek he asked if I actually had a driving licence because I wasn't sure where to go and was staying below the speed limit. It's a little-known concept called driving carefully mate. Now fuck off to before where you came from.

Anyway, the last time I let strangers into my car it was two young women, one of whom was disabled. That was genuine, I can tell when someone's faking that. They asked me if I could take them a fairly short distance as she was having difficulty walking. I know that feeling so agreed to take them. I was in the city centre after a night out and had just got into my car and where they wanted to go was on my way.

As soon as they got in and I set off the backseat passenger (the non-disabled) one claimed to have dropped her lighter and started ratching about in the back. I then knew exactly what was going to happen. But I'd asked for it really and what could I do? I couldn't use or threaten violence on them and if I'd got the police I'd have had to explain myself and I've no doubt they'd have lied. I mean why would a bloke in his late 40s pick up two women in their 20s without an ulterior motive? Disability empathy just wouldn't cut it with the cops. I was dealing with professionals here. I've no doubt they'd done it before and no doubt they've done it since.

So I just dropped them off, let them disappear and checked what had been nicked. There was nothing particularly valuable in there luckily. A bum bag with about a tenner in coins in it and a windcheater jacket I was actually quite fond of were taken. But there we go, my own stupid fault.

I actually saw the disabled one again a few weeks later. But she was on the other side of the dual carriageway and by the time I'd got to the nearest roundabout and turned round she'd gone. I'd love to meet her and her mate again, if even just to tell them I knew exactly what they were up to and someday they're going to try it on with someone who isn't such a nice person/soft touch and I'd have no sympathy at all for whatever the consequences were.

Sebastian Cobb

I remember reading it was quite common for people who shifted cars around on 'trade plates' (those red and white number plates you sometimes see slung over cars that identify and cover a driver for driving the vehicle) to deliver cars and hitch back. The story was from someone who quite often used to pick them up on long drives as they were seen to be low-risk, and as a bonus they were often willing to drive the car for some of the way or through the night when the driver would've otherwise had to stop.

Icehaven

Quote from: Sebastian Cobb on August 06, 2022, 12:07:45 PMI remember reading it was quite common for people who shifted cars around on 'trade plates' (those red and white number plates you sometimes see slung over cars that identify and cover a driver for driving the vehicle) to deliver cars and hitch back. The story was from someone who quite often used to pick them up on long drives as they were seen to be low-risk, and as a bonus they were often willing to drive the car for some of the way or through the night when the driver would've otherwise had to stop.

Yep I've heard of that, they're paid their travel costs for the return journey so they hitch instead and keep the cash. I think when I start my serial killer career a red and white numberplate will be an essential bit of kit.

Sebastian Cobb

Quote from: Icehaven on August 06, 2022, 12:15:05 PMYep I've heard of that, they're paid their travel costs for the return journey so they hitch instead and keep the cash. I think when I start my serial killer career a red and white numberplate will be an essential bit of kit.

Somewhat related I remember being on a camping holiday in Cornwall and there being a youngish guy camping there with his suit hung in the back of his car. Turns out he was there to save his expenses. Not sure I could do that, it's bad enough feeling listless and trapped in a Travelodge in a boring town you don't want to be in... I hope what they were pocketing was significant!

Glebe

Only time I hitchhiked was coming back from Galway once.

Jockice

Eric Idle's dad died when he got run over while hitchhiking. For once the phrase 'you learn something every day' proves to be true.

wrec

#20
Was common when I was growing up in the 80s / 90s for kids who lived outside town to go out the road and wait til a passing neighbour picked them up - dunno if that still happens. Definitely hitched a couple of times as a teenager but never alone.

The Mollusk

My alcoholic uncle hitchhiked all the way from Edinburgh to Sutton Coldfield when my mum went into labour with me. March 3rd, and it snowed. It was Shrove Tuesday so I was called Baby Pancake (NOT BABY P, STEADY ON) before she decided on my name, which ended up being Cocksucker.

Knowing my uncle growing up before he kicked the booze I can imagine he was probably a bloody nightmare to have in the car, harping on about Jack Kerouac and Bob Dylan, presumably boozing and needing regular piss breaks. He's been clean for over a decade now, devout Buddhist, works in rehab healthcare, and I love him dearly.

Brundle-Fly

I used to pick up hitchhikers all the time in the 1980s. As I looked like a proper teenage thug at the time, they were probably more wary of me than I was of them. I remember giving a lift to Brighton for this cute crusty couple. They bloody reeked though. For the rest of the day, the inside of my motor stank like Jon 'Fat' Beast*'s armpits after a night of moshing at the Camden Falcon.

*(Ask yer dad - Ed).

Malcy

Was a massive thing in Ireland when I lived there.

Never done it in 11 years there but the amount of people who would leave the pub and ask for a place to stay only be told to fuck off and then stand with the thumb out...

These people went on the piss with no way home or no way to afford a way home although most could. But they could save 5e so would take the risk to hitch. Most ended up in fields or on people's doorsteps who said no. Just have one less fucking pint...