Have You Ever Fainted?

[JaDanketies]

As an adult, but some time ago, I got pissed without really eating all day and was at a gig

Got up at like 3am to go to Brutal Assault in the Czech Republic and then tried to stay awake until Batushka took the stage at the end of the first night. Saw them start playing and then remember the staff waking me up on the gravelly floor. I suppose that counts maybe. But you see people sleeping all over the place at festivals

[non capisco]

I haven't ever fainted as such. The closest I've come was c. 2002 and caused by walking into work one morning and seeing a vocally homophobic boss sat on his own watching the video to Electric Six's 'Gay Bar' with a kind of awed look on his face, like a dog seeing a mountain made out of bones. This made me laugh so hard I seemed to have a brief out of body experience, like the edges of my vision went from widescreen to 4:3 and I imagined I could see myself sitting down in the chair still cracking up. Lasted only a few seconds but truly weird and I've never had anything similar since.   

[JaDanketies]

weird and I've never had anything similar since.   

Isn't that 'seeing tunnel vision'? Maybe you had to intensely focus on how funny it was

[Claude the Racecar Driving Rockstar Super Sleuth]

they pull eight or so BIG vials of blood out of your arm

That's very nearly a handful!

[flotemysost]

If @flotemysost hasn't slowly slumped to the ground in an embarrassingly public setting at some point, I'll eat my big toenails.

Ha!! Well observed - but never through fainting, just my own klutzy idiocy.

Once in a sex education class when someone asked the question "When a man comes inside a woman where does it all go?" but I don't feel as if that was related.

Laughed hard at this. Was it the answer that toppled you, or did you not get that far?

Actually now that I think of it, someone in my class was sick all over the benches in the science labs during a sex education class, but again I don't think it was related, it was just one of those random vomiting moments that children/teenagers get seemingly out of nowhere - one moment we were poring over the various stages of an egg dividing (it was one of the boring classes about cells and stuff, not the properly sexy ones) and the next minute this chunky beige tide was leaching towards the Bunsen burners and everyone started screaming.

[Zero Gravitas]

"Some of it drips out and some of it gets absorbed"

Then just black sparkles and stumbling towards the door.

[Mobius]

Yeah I fainted when I was around 18-19, in the queue for some dodgy rave in London. Had taken some pills, wasn't eating or drinking properly, and the queue/crowd was so bustling I sort of got taken off my feet and couldn't maneuver myself or really do anything. Anyway not sure exactly what happened but a short time later I woke up in the kerb with a crowd around me, having pissed my jeans.

[Goldentony]

I got so sad and angry about being at sixth form some 20 years ago now that in the middle of the morning assembly I passed out and the teacher we called Skywalker was tapping me on the shoulder to wake up and asking me to stop messing about while I woke up and wondered what the fuck had gone on

[GoblinAhFuckScary]

Same.

Fainting's for losers. You're not even banned from driving afterwards!

Not a qualified doctor but I reckon the pecking order goes:
Seizure
Knocked out
Faint

we're number one!!!

[bgmnts]

Never fainted because I'm hard as fucking nails.

[PlanktonSideburns]

Tend to be pretty chill about injury unless it's to my hands

Degloved little finger on glass bin in work, told manager 'I think that's a hospital job' then passed straight out

Got hand briefly stuck in an old log splitter that was attached to the back of a tractor. Took off glove, looked at my loony tunes style concertina'd finger, bang on the deck, in the abyss

[PlanktonSideburns]

Oh, a also passed out after a bike crash on the way to Newport train station lost property office to collect my bike helmet. Could see the fucking place. So close. Came to, but vision was gone, a voice was asking u ok type questions, and I remember saying in a very cheerful voice

Yea I'm good, just pop me on the pavement

[SweetPomPom]

Yep, watching R.E.M at Milton Keynes bowl - massively dehydrated and cooked in the sun and then the crush when they came on was it for me. Apparently went down like I'd been hit on the head and woke up with St Johns looking down at me. Whole thing must have only been a couple minutes but I could remember the whole gig. Which hadn't actually happened yet.

[Vodkafone]

Got hand briefly stuck in an old log splitter that was attached to the back of a tractor. Took off glove, looked at my loony tunes style concertina'd finger, bang on the deck, in the abyss

Oh Christ, was it one of those that's basically a big screw and if it hits a knot it grabs hold of the log and BANGS it down on the metal bench and you have to whip your hand away sharpish? I'm amazed I have any fingers left.

[PlanktonSideburns]

Oh Christ, was it one of those that's basically a big screw and if it hits a knot it grabs hold of the log and BANGS it down on the metal bench and you have to whip your hand away sharpish? I'm amazed I have any fingers left.

Exactly. Emergency stop procedure involves walking over to the cab, getting in and turning the keys to turn the engine off

I was very lucky - it only bent one of my fingers backwards at the Mid joint, breaking and dislocating it - I was playing guitar at a gig six months later, though it did mean that my wife had to guess what size my wedding ring was going to be when it un-fucked it's self at the ring making workshop. It's still a bit too big and lives middle finger, need to get that sorted

[JamesTC]

In high school I won some drama award and 100% attendance award so needed to pick them up in a ceremony at Bootle town hall.

In the morning, I said to my dad that I wasn't feeling well but he said I had to go to school. I managed through it. In the evening, I said I still wasn't feeling well but he said we had to go to the ceremony.

While waiting to go on stage, everybody from my year were queued up. On stage there was somebody telling an inspirational story about somebody overcoming some hardship and they just wouldn't stop droning on and on and on and on.

Where I was standing, I couldn't lean against anything. I just started to feel more and more light headed until I eventually thought that I have to tell the teacher. It was at that point that everything suddenly went very slow and in an instant went very fast. I woke up to a teacher and my Dad standing over me.

Apparently when I fainted, I was heading straight onto a banister which would have probably cracked my head open but some unknown kid manage to nudge me out the way. Very possibly saved my life.

I went home, ate cake and watched Only Fools and Horses. Had a few days off school too. When I returned, the rumour was that I had an epileptic fit.

[Claude the Racecar Driving Rockstar Super Sleuth]

Emergency stop procedure involves walking over to the cab, getting in and turning the keys to turn the engine off

While your arm is stuck in it?!

[PlanktonSideburns]

While your arm is stuck in it?!

Cab is probably about 8ft away from the business end of the log splitter

Yea they hadn't really thought it through. Maybe it was invented by someone passionate about the misunderstanding of Darwinian evolution

[Claude the Racecar Driving Rockstar Super Sleuth]

I remember in Technology lessons at school, they made darn sure to show us all the emergency off switches before they let us anywhere near the bandsaw and that. A ruddy great log splitter though? What's the worst that could happen?

[Jack Shaftoe]

I was watching Pulp Fiction in the cinema and the bit where Thingy Woman has overdosed on heroin, thinking it's coke and has gone all sweaty and ill made me feel very odd. I had to go and stand in the foyer and lean against the wall. Just as the kiosk woman asked if I was okay, I said 'Oh yes, I'm absolutely-' and did a comedy faint and slide down the brickwork.

I woke up a few seconds later and was fine, I don't think the lady even had time to react and then I went back in, the end.

[Vodkafone]

While your arm is stuck in it?!

They are designed for trunk rings that obligingly split apart when you push them against the splitter, which isn't any help when a fat cunt farmer gets you doing all sorts of gnarly scrag ends for his open fire.

[PlanktonSideburns]

They are designed for trunk rings that obligingly split apart when you push them against the splitter, which isn't any help when a fat cunt farmer gets you doing all sorts of gnarly scrag ends for his open fire.

RRR

[Claude the Racecar Driving Rockstar Super Sleuth]

All these folk fainting at films, or the sight of blood. I've certainly winced at violent films, and react with appropriate concern to other people's injuries, but never fainted (because I'm totally nails). Is that like an overactive empathy response or something? Where is Trenter?

[QDRPHNC]

Twice, both as an adult. Once was when I had blood taken and the other was when I honked a massive lungful of weed and pipe tobacco mixed together.

[Des Wigwam]

Tend to be pretty chill about injury unless it's to my hands

I don't want to expose my one weakness to the world but am the same. Fingers and Toes. Even typing this and my brain filling in non-specific injuries is making me feel a bit queazy and light headed.

I have never fainted though bc that's a made up thing.

[dissolute ocelot]

I fainted once a few years ago, a combination of not having eaten much, a couple of drinks, and the briefest puff of the wacky baccy. Quite embarrassing because I was in my flat with someone I'd only been on about 4 or 5 dates with and didn't know hugely well, certainly not well enough to know each others' emergency contact information. And apparently instead of gracefully falling to the ground like a Regency lady, I thumped down and started mild convulsions for a minute or so. All most awkward.

[Jack Shaftoe]

All these folk fainting at films, or the sight of blood. I've certainly winced at violent films, and react with appropriate concern to other people's injuries, but never fainted (because I'm totally nails). Is that like an overactive empathy response or something? Where is Trenter?

I think it must be - I do have a weird thing with empathy, like I have very little empathy most of the time, then sometimes I have wayyyy too much, it's very annoying. I think it was the makeup or something on Uma Thurman, like she was very convincingly sweaty and ill, it just triggered something, very odd. But then in real life I worked as a hospital porter, did see a certain amount of blood and gore, but it was all very brisk and professional and never bothered me.

[Mortimer]

Many times. Coughing syncope is what I have. Some minor injuries but seem to have avoided anything major. Guess I have that to look forward to.

[greencalx]

Came very close to fainting in a sex ed class in a windowless room on syphilis and gonorrhoea. Managed to tell the teacher I wasn't feeling too well and was allowed to exit to a place with more air.

[PlanktonSideburns]

Why is everyone fainting in sex Ed?