Salman Rushdie attacked

[Lisa Jesusandmarychain]

I once had a relationship with a Czech girl who had those Garfield the Cat eyes like Salman Rushdie has. She also looked a bit like Courteney Love. Massive knockers, too.

More obit material, there, well worth a new page.

[Brundle-Fly]

Haven't read it, but I read the book he published after that, " Buddha's A Big Fat Cunt."

You'll have a certain curly haired Scottish comedian/magician in a top hat issuing a fatwa, on you, Lisa.

[Norton Canes]

Massive knockers, too

TBF Salman Rushdie also had some massive knockers

[Satchmo Distel]

"Stab the Rushdie on the left-hand side" 

[imitationleather]

TBF Salman Rushdie also had some massive knockers

The Ayatollah was one of his massive knockers

[Buelligan]

Yes.

[Lisa Jesusandmarychain]

"Stab the Rushdie on the left-hand side" 

A twofer ( cos of the drummer with Musical Youth carking it) ! Good effort!

[Lisa Jesusandmarychain]

The Ayatollah was one of his massive knockers

"knocker" in this context being a stern critic, not a mammary gland.

[Buelligan]

Were his tits Bono and The Edge? 

[Zero Gravitas]

... I'm certainly in no "rush" for him to "die"!

You don't want him to rush die, surely?

[Mister Six]

Whereas " Stabbed In The Neck" reminds me of that Supergrass song

# Stabbed in the neck
  There I was
  Oh, Flippin''Eck # 

Stabbed by a man
Wiv a knife in his hand
I must stay alive
I'm just 75

If only I'd never wrote that book
This guy wouldn't have gone at me with a knife
I knew I should have called it off last night

Down on the boards
Neck has been gored
I pissed off Iran
They're behind it for sure
Well this is a blow
Like with Charlie Hebdo

If only they'd calm down and let me go
I'd make it up to them, new book
Yeah I'd have another go
But I still know Mohammed's a nonce, all right?

...I should probably stop this now.

[The Mollusk]

"Stab the Rushdie on the left-hand side" 

fucks sake hahaha

[buttgammon]

The Guardian's Hadley Freeman previously wrote a profile of Rushdie last year:

Poor Salman Rushdie. The one thing I am most keen to talk to him about is the one thing he absolutely, definitely does not want to discuss.

Is it toilets or Woody Allen being a great bunch of lads?

[Mister Six]

Maybe what it's like to be stabbed in the neck by a lunatic.

[Bernice]

This was actually all a plot cooked up by Rushdie to get out of his Hadley Freeman interview. Unfortunately, it's hard to find a guy who's good at both timekeeping and stabbing you in the neck on a reasonable budget. Ended up with the worst of both worlds, the poor fucker.

[Keebleman]

I've read Midnight's Children and enjoyed it quite a lot, despite 'magic realism' being my least favourite literary genre.  15 years on though I can't recall anything about it bar the premise.

And I read - in one day (I was a very underused extra on Casualty) - The Golden House, which I remember began with an interesting idea about a film being made of its protagonist which it almost instantly dropped.  It was as if Rushdie had completed his first draft with all its tentativities and dead-ends and thought, That'll do.

[FalknerHinton]

The Ayatollah was one of his massive knockers

Calling the Ayatollah a massive tit definitely feels like how you get a fatwa declared against you.

CaB's had a good run I guess and it's a hell of a way to go out.

[idunnosomename]

Salman Cushdie

play it nice and cool son know what i aAUUUGgh

[Keebleman]

I reckon it's very short odds on a) the attacker not having been alive in 1989;  b) the attacker never having read The Satanic Verses; c) the attacker never having even heard the title The Satanic Verses.

The suspect is 24 so my first guess was right, and I'm all but certain that the second one is too.  All I need for a full house is to get him on a TV quiz show and tell him, "Now, for our star prize list all of Salman Rusdhie's novels!"

[Video Game Fan 2000]

Salman Cushdie

play it nice and cool son know what i aAUUUGgh

It can't be! Ayatollah Slater!

[Norton Canes]

"Police had no indication there were any previous threats before the event where Rushdie was attacked"

Er...

[Pinball]

TBF Salman Rushdie also had some massive knockers

I think you'll find it's massive balls that he had and has.

[Video Game Fan 2000]

My 'Garfield the Cat eyes' are up here.

[Bernice]

Yeah but your huge tits are in the lasagna.

[Video Game Fan 2000]

[pancreas]

The Rush, The

[Harry Badger]

The Carotid Splurshes

[Lord Mandrake]

The Marvel Cinematic Universe.

[Mister Six]

Severed nerves in his arm, damage to his liver, likely to lose an eye and now on a ventilator, according to his agent.

Feeling a bit bad about that Supergrass riff now.

[katzenjammer]

Dissing Islam was naughty, but knife?