Work Colleague Dead

[robhug]

Today, we were all asked to gather together whereupon one of the owners of the company strode in and through tears informed us that the general manager had suffered a massive heart attack and died on a sunbed on a beach in Cornwall on Sunday at the age of 54.

Last month, the last time I saw the man as I've been on leave for a couple of weeks, I made a bit of small talk and remarked that his habit of 10 black coffee's every day "would be the death of him".

When did you last accurately predict the demise of a work colleague? or have you even had a death of someone you work with? This is the first one of someone I actually knew after 22 long working years.

[Glebe]

Oh fuck that's awful. RIP.

[Bernice]

Not a bad way to go. Me, I'd like to explode without any obvious cause. I want cunts 10 miles away picking bits of my spleen out their hydrangea. Just before it happens I want to lift my leg up like I'm going to do a big comedy fart. Blam.

[pancreas]

Caffin

[dontpaintyourteeth]

Shit, that's a shock. RIP.

Worked with someone who liked Rick and Morty, and before he went on holiday we were laughing and quoting the "I am dying in a vat in the garage" bit. He didn't go that way but he drowned on a fishing trip on said holiday so... I don't know it was a bit of a weird final conversation anyway.

[Sebastian Cobb]

Had the odd email where it was company-wide and about someone I'd never met and when we shared a building with an oil company they had a minutes silence over the PA for the riggers that died when one of Super Puma helicopters fell out of the sky.

More moving, just because immediacy, one of the sparks who'd been in fixing stuff in our building came running into the office to tell us one of our workshop guys was collapsed next to his car in the car park, our first aider had to give CPR until a paramedic arrived, they survived though, thankfully.

[Jim_MacLaine]

I don't remember him but I did some work with her.

https://www.theargus.co.uk/news/16181246.brighton-university-worker-posted-chilling-stab-image-boss/

I'd left by the time this happened but colleagues were utterly in shock.

[madhair60]

no that has never happened to me. Bye

[Butchers Blind]

Have you put in your CV?

[Beagle 2]

Thank Christ I take milk in my ten coffees a day

[PlanktonSideburns]

Lad working in the Amazon Xmas shift got run over by a delivery lorry after a shift in their universal load in/load out/vehicle/pedestrianised cloaca system they shift all the crap and drones into the factory everyday (a fucking insane architectural choice that sums absolutely everything wrong with the world really) - we were informed of this the following morning, bollocked for mucking about in the loading cloaca, then got straight on with our pre shift yoga session

Magine getting the call/email/text from amazon saying they had pulped your child, and a voucher the size of a solar panel was being wanged your way immediately

Edit: I'm aware that some of my wording might come across to some as having a similarity to the smirking past the graveyard/gallows whimsy that I've been criticising in another thread, but it isn't the same thanks bye

[JaDanketies]

Shit I hope Ian's alright. He used to always tell me how well he was doing and how much weight he'd lost after taking up a vegan diet following a massive heart attack. Don't even know the fucker's surname

[Thomas]

Used to do admin/read books in a store cupboard at a company tangentially linked to civil aerospace. We'd get a weekly newsletter with stories of the sector from around the world - updates, advancements, disputes, union action, tidbits.

One Monday morning I opened the usually-mundane PDF and read about an airport worker who'd been sucked into a Boeing engine and sprayed out the back like ketchup lasagna through a deskfan.

A direct colleague at a call centre drowned on a staff night out. Used to sit next him.

[JaDanketies]

When working behind the bar, a guy - always drank Manchester Brown Ale, and always wanted a handle pint pot - ordered a soda water and lime, and explained this was because he was later having surgery to treat a kidney problem. He died on the operating table. I went to his funeral. Maybe he was called John?

The bar only had two handle pint pots, and my ex's granddad (now dead of throat cancer) also insisted on a handle pint pot, so it was pretty convenient that one of them died. Although there was no need for both of them to die.  I didn't even work at the bar when my ex's granddad died so there was no benefit to me, in fact it was wholly negative.

when I'm gone I hope people remember me so well

[curiousoranges]

How many dead people are you still friends with on Facebook? I have one, who's a former work colleague. We weren't that close, but it would feel wrong to unfriend them. We follow each other on Twitter too.

[Thomas]

How many dead people are you still friends with on Facebook? I have one, who's a former work colleague. We weren't that close, but it would feel wrong to unfriend them. We follow each other on Twitter too.

Five, I think, including our lovely Serge (Marc). Three of the others died in their 20s, of murder, a terror attack, and a drug overdose.

Charlie Brooker based one of the good Black Mirror episodes ('Be Right Back') on the experience of deleting a dead friend from his phone's contacts list.

[pigamus]

I don't remember him but I did some work with her.

https://www.theargus.co.uk/news/16181246.brighton-university-worker-posted-chilling-stab-image-boss/

I'd left by the time this happened but colleagues were utterly in shock.

Blimey. And was she a bully, or was he just mental?

[madhair60]

Three of the others died in their 20s, of murder, a terror attack, and a drug overdose.

incredible for even one person to die of these things, but three??

[walktothewater]

George Michael. Yeah, I know, an easy one.
I thought Paul Gascoigne would be dead by now.

[Jim_MacLaine]

Blimey. And was she a bully, or was he just mental?

From colleagues who knew them both.

He: Mentalist Stalker
She: Kind hearted and sadly too trusting

[Inspector Norse]

There was the time I was on paternity leave and met a couple of colleagues for drinks, who told me that a guy from head office had been murdered (by his girlfriend's unstable ex).

And when I worked in TEFL and the boss sent an all-staff mail informing us that a student had been killed in a car accident. She signed off with a sad smiley.

How many dead people are you still friends with on Facebook? I have one, who's a former work colleague. We weren't that close, but it would feel wrong to unfriend them. We follow each other on Twitter too.

One friend of a friend, who committed suicide. Weirdly, I learnt about this when having a barbecue with my brother - and he received a message literally ten minutes later informing him that one of his friends (a completely different person) had committed suicide.

[shoulders]

Our previous MD had cancer but insisted on working up to the point where she pretty much dropped dead after finishing a shift.

All to continue doing some utter bullshit nothing, overseeing some  conveyancing work that would have happened in the same  way if she'd have spent her last two months getting railed by gigolos in the Bahamas like Captain Tom Moore, having her saline drip replaced with Pisco Sour and exploring the very heart of the meaning of anal in a drug haze of delirious mental excelsis.

But no. Get up, put on the starchy,
lurid work attire and horrid high heels she'd clomp clomp around in so loudly you could hear her coming from the other side of the building, boss a few people around and fuck off home to get a bit deader, repeat until expiry.

No hedonism. Nothing of any majesty or pathos, just grim adherence to the same routine until hard deleted from the Earth by the brutal cunt that is cancer.

If someone gave me a short term timeline I'd be out of this godforesaken pit faster than shit off a stick.

[Twit 2]

All to continue doing some utter bullshit nothing, overseeing some  conveyancing work that would have happened in the same  way if she'd have spent her last two months getting railed by gigolos in the Bahamas like Captain Tom Moore, having her saline drip replaced with Pisco Sour and exploring the very heart of the meaning of anal in a drug haze of delirious mental excelsis.

But no. Get up, put on the starchy,
lurid work attire and horrid high heels she'd clomp clomp around in so loudly you could hear her coming from the other side of the building, boss a few people around and fuck off home to get a bit deader, repeat until expiry.

No hedonism. Nothing of any majesty or pathos, just grim adherence to the same routine until hard deleted from the Earth by the brutal cunt that is cancer.

If someone gave me a short term timeline I'd be out of this godforesaken pit faster than shit off a stick.

Imagine if this was the actual eulogy. I'd buy that for a dollar!

[The Pink Chunk Jazz Band]

Fuckin hell this thread is grim

If I died at work I'd like to think no one would notice, just keep waffling grumbles about the worsening smell wafting over the turgid carpets. Then one morning one of my shit colleagues would come to my desk to get an update on the death tracker and find me with a wig of maggots and a fox gnawing off my leg.

[Sebastian Cobb]

Fuckin hell this thread is grim

If I died at work I'd like to think no one would notice, just keep waffling grumbles about the worsening smell wafting over the turgid carpets. Then one morning one of my shit colleagues would come to my desk to get an update on the death tracker and find me with a wig of maggots and a fox gnawing off my leg.

Have you considered working for Amazon? I think the algorithm would notice the unproductivity very quickly but it'd just sack you by email.

[checkoutgirl]

Going to try and weave the term "handle pint pot" into some sentences in the next few days.

[Huxleys Babkins]

If someone gave me a short term timeline I'd be out of this godforesaken pit faster than shit off a stick.

I know someone who kept working, even though their life insurance already paid out due to the diagnosis, simply because they fancied the look of the latest BMW 5 Series and their company car lease was due to be renewed.

I also know of three people who postponed their retirements just so they could have another three years in a shiny new car. Capitalism is a sickness.

[Sebastian Cobb]

I know someone who kept working, even though their life insurance already paid out due to the diagnosis, simply because they fancied the look of the latest BMW 5 Series and their company car lease was due to be renewed.

I also know of three people who postponed their retirements just so they could have another three years in a shiny new car. Capitalism is a sickness.

When one of my friends had aggressive cancer part of me thought that in some ways I'd enjoy the deadline and the ability to tidy up loose ends much more than another 40 years of listless lever pulling. I didn't tell them that, mind.

[Glebe]

Fuckin hell this thread is grim

Yeah maybe should include a TRIGGER WARNING.

[Huxleys Babkins]

Yeah maybe should include a TRIGGER WARNING.

RIP Roger Lloyd-Pack
8 February 1944 – 15 January 2014