Roadkill

[twatloops]

This morning I had an early start for work so found myself driving along Hornsey Road into London at about 5.45am.  The roads were reasonably clear (for London) so I was bumbling along quite nicely.

Turning a corner, there's a woman laying, badly injured, in the middle of the road.  Late 30s, tights ripped, blood on blouse, laying with one arm outstretched clutching a ten pound note, totally motionless.  Further down the road, there's a car thundering off into the distance.

Being a little bit savvy, I slammed on the brakes and had a quick look around to see if it was a wind-up/sting but there's no-one anywhere.  I take my seatbelt off and open my cardoor.

At this point she sits bolt upright turns to me and asks, "Have you got 10p?"  As she's sat looking at me, I see the blood is fake stuff she's sprayed on her top.

I shut the door, in absolute shock at the ludicrous setup and drive off to see her laydown again in exactly the same pose as before.

God give me fucking big uber-strength.

I suppose as this is a thread starter, I should make it a question.  Has anyone seen a more thought out, yet ultimately doomed tactic to get money out of someone before?


Tad

[FrizzBit]

:lol

Sorry, but that's a belter, I may try that sometime. :lol

[Make me smile]

you should have at least whipped the tenner out of her hand before you drove off!

that'll learn her.

[twatloops]

you should have at least whipped the tenner out of her hand before you drove off!

that'll learn her.

That was the icing on the cake to me.  She actually had more money than I had on me, yet she was asking for 10p.  Bless my socks.

[Smackhead Kangaroo]

I would have taken the tenner stolen her shoes and then touched her up, oh and special mention of dribbling on her face. YESSSS
How could she do this for long given the number of pikeys round? Wouldn
't they have just raped her on the spot?

[Rev]

I'd have run the bitch over to make her act more authentic, but then I'm just a very giving person.

[smoker]

she could have been delirious from the pain

[bresker]

Turning a corner, there's a woman laying, badly injured, in the middle of the road. Late 30s, tights ripped, blood on blouse, laying with one arm outstretched clutching a ten pound note

I got a bit wood after reading that bit and had to go and have a wank to cool off.

[hencole]

Thats an absurd idea to raise money. I think you really should have given her 10p for the effort she'd gone too. One wonders what tactics she employed to get hold of the £10 note.

[elderford]

I once went on a holiday that involved traipsing along country roads, and I got into the habit of photographing any roadkill I came across.

Thought about it too, framed everything up, stood directly over it, had the missus warn me if cars were approaching.

The developers didn't process one of them.

All they were of was flat animals.

People are strange.

[Purple Tentacle]

Was there a bloke standing near-by with a hilariously hilarious huge mobile phone, hilarious shouting "HELLO!" into it very hilariously loudly?



Hehehe, you're going to be on telly, pal.


By the way, I have a confession to make: I laugh at "Just for Laughs" the other week, there was a prank that I thought was quite funny. I'm sorry.

[hencole]

I laughed all the way through it. Then I cut trenches into my arms.

[Purple Tentacle]

I laughed all the way through it. Then I cut trenches into my arms.

It was just the one prank, mind you. The rest was fucking awful.


They had set up an invisible plate of glass on the pavement, and as people walked towards it a bloke with a bucket of water jumped out and threw it right into their faces..... except it harmlessly splashed into the glass.   I actually "LOL" ' ed, before dissolving into a froth of self-hate.

[hencole]

I saw it the week before and honestly I did find most of the sketches funny. The two vicars and the nude camera one standing out in my memory.

[mr rou-rou]

the nudey Polaroid vicars was a good one,

I also liked the Asian chap who jumped the cones, had to see it, daft bugger.

- -

I've told this story before,

I'm driving home, I turn into my street, it's dark, I see a TV box on the pavement, it looks brand new and even has the banding on it, i.e looks like it just came off a pallet.

So like the opportunist I am I stop and nonchalantly reverse up to the box with my boot open and big wet lips flapping with excitement, not really...

So I park around the corner and casually walk round, stop and feign a quizzical look upon finding the box - 'oh my', I try the box for weight, up it flies.... empty box?!?

At this point howling laughter erupts from the darkened living room of the house opposite , I had to laugh and left the box there for another sucker :)

Later I went and firebombed the house

[gazzyk1ns]

Hehe reminds me of the time me and the kid across the road superglued a 50p to the pavement opposite, and then sat and watched... for about an hour nobody saw it, then when someone finally did, they just picked it up, the superglue hadn't stuck and we'd not thought to test it, being kids and everything. That was literally a waste of time and money.