Shagging Dogs

[robhug]

I can recall the school liar regaling us with tales of someone who lived near him who shagged a dog and it died and assumed it was standard bollocks. 30 years later I read this

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c33nv8x64mlo

Is this a one off are are these practices far more prevalent than anyone would have thought? A Yorkshire thing?

[Plunge]

Jfc

[Mx Wrongs]

I notice he never did it with the crocs.

COWARD!!!

[Al Tha Funkee Homosapien]

I couldn't shag a whole one.

[dontpaintyourteeth]

"He at times hung his head and reached for tissues"

Christ, this perv never stops does he

[Deliciousbass]

A mate reckoned this other kid at school let a dog suck him off, I said I didn't believe it but my mate insisted saying 'if it didn't happen why does he get so upset when it's brought up?' So I asked this other kid whether he got sucked off by a dog and he did indeed get upset. So who knows really!

[Proactive]

There were rumours that "dogged" a mate of mine at school throughout the span of his time there that he'd shagged his dog, and I'm only 80% sure that it didn't happen. Similarly, another kid was "known" to have "poked" his cat. I presume every school in the country has at least one similar tale.

[dontpaintyourteeth]

Real talk though that's one of the most genuinely horrifying news stories I've ever read, so cheers for that

[Brian Freeze]

VW was reckoned to have put dog food on his little fella and was caught in the act of getting cleaned up.

He was another one you might be tempted to judge his guilt from the violence doled out.

[robhug]

Real talk though that's one of the most genuinely horrifying news stories I've ever read, so cheers for that

I think as a member of the jury and the judge pipes up with 'youll all get nervous shock by the end of this' you know its going to be something of a rollercoaster

[Deliciousbass]

There were rumours that "dogged" a mate of mine at school throughout the span of his time there that he'd shagged his dog, and I'm only 80% sure that it didn't happen. Similarly, another kid was "known" to have "poked" his cat. I presume every school in the country has at least one similar tale.

Yeah probably true. The kid accused of it at my school wasn't otherwise picked on or unpopular, which sort of made it more credible. Also, when anyone brought it up he got upset in a 'don't make fun of my girlfriend' kind of way, much like that octopus shagger in the boys, IIRC.

[Brundle-Fly]

This old bloke who lives in a street near me is a local character. People call him 'Tex' because he dresses up like someone from the American civil war. Over the past twenty odd years, I would only very occasionally have a brief chat with him and his much younger wife (bizarrely, she would always be in her Disney pyjamas). They stank to high heaven of old sweat, Old Holborn and old pets. As you can imagine, he was a simple minded, harmless old eccentric...

Oh.

Read this in the news recently.

WARNING: Incredibly grim.

https://www.mylondon.news/news/north-london-news/vile-north-london-paedophile-convicted-29348118

[Hobo With A Shit Pun]

A Victor Lewis-Smith piece in Private Eye many years ago - which is probably therefore bollocks made from whole cloth, but I for one am not googling to find out - described a German man being convicted of bestiality. Only the dog was the top, and the man bottomed, which raised an interesting moral question for me. Surely that's as close as a dog gets to consenting; if there's nothing wrong with having a dog hump your leg, or encouraging a Falcon to fuck your hat, what's wrong with presenting your arsehole in case the dog fancies it? 

Thankfully, this moral quandary has no practical ramifications for my life.

I would write to an MP  about it, but Ian Austin's a Lord now.

[Zero Gravitas]

[thenoise]

A Victor Lewis-Smith piece in Private Eye many years ago - which is probably therefore bollocks made from whole cloth, but I for one am not googling to find out - described a German man being convicted of bestiality. Only the dog was the top, and the man bottomed, which raised an interesting moral question for me. Surely that's as close as a dog gets to consenting; if there's nothing wrong with having a dog hump your leg, or encouraging a Falcon to fuck your hat, what's wrong with presenting your arsehole in case the dog fancies it? 

Thankfully, this moral quandary has no practical ramifications for my life.

I would write to an MP  about it, but Ian Austin's a Lord now.

Dogs horniness is largely smell, so you'd have to find a lady dog that is 'on heat' and wipe her fanny juices all up your bum.
Not hard to get hold of as they leave a little snail trail all over your trouser leg.

I mean, maybe. Haven't given it a lot of thought.

[robhug]

Dogs horniness is largely smell, so you'd have to find a lady dog that is 'on heat' and wipe her fanny juices all up your bum.
Not hard to get hold of as they leave a little snail trail all over your trouser leg.

technically you might be all right there as you aren't actually penetrating a dog, which I think is the law you'd need to be breaking. Live and let live under these specific circumstances.

[McDead]

Don't really know what else I would have expected from a thread called Shagging Dogs, so I really only have myself to blame

[dontpaintyourteeth]

Photographer Captures People's Reactions When Told They Are Beautiful

[Blumf]

The headline says "British croc expert", that's madhair, isn't it?

[idunnosomename]

That nonce is exactly what Jeremy Corbyn looks like through the eyes of Mitch Benn and James O'Brien

[daf]

Bummerdog : Here comes Jism!

[dissolute ocelot]

Pretty sure it's illegal even if the dog initiated it. It's still animal abuse. Be humane and castrate that dog. You can only legally have sex with an animal if you're a farmer and it's in the course of your farming duties, just don't look like you enjoy it, but farmers never look like they enjoy anything, and this is why.

[Shaxberd]

Pretty sure it's illegal even if the dog initiated it. It's still animal abuse. Be humane and castrate that dog. You can only legally have sex with an animal if you're a farmer and it's in the course of your farming duties, just don't look like you enjoy it, but farmers never look like they enjoy anything, and this is why.

I wonder if dog breeders use artificial insemination or if it's just easier and less embarrassing to put two dogs together in a room and let them get on with it.

I remember once talking to a woman who was involved in breeding horses and that's very, uh, hands on. If you want to harvest the sperm (which costs big bucks from a successful racehorse) you need to quickly pop a horsey condom on the stallion before he 'covers' the mare. (Apparently it has to be done this way, I assume it's too tiring and dangerous to wank off a horse.)

[idunnosomename]

Ohhhhhhhhhhh now you tell me

[Red82]

Some lad shagged a dog in Lincolnshire about a decade or so ago. The lad's partner was quoted in the local press as saying "I had to have her put down. I couldn't look the bitch in the eye anymore"

Really.

[Bigfella]

One of the Beatles had a mate who did things with an Alsatian and would get him to do it at parties. 

[Underturd]

Reg from "The Bill" goes underRover.

[canadagoose]

A disgusting paedophile has been found unanimously guilty of eight counts of historic child sex offences against two young boys at a North London flat in the 1990s.

I'm glad they clarified he was a disgusting paedophile, not one of those alluring and wholly acceptable paedophiles they have now.

[Russ L]

When I opened this I was expecting a nice and wholesome thread with high-quality footage of dogs shagging each other, but instead I get this. You lot are an unpleasant bunch.

[Video Game Fan 2000]

didnt neil innes do the theme tune to this