Bond on a budget

[superthunderstingcar]

"Bond, there's a bomb inside the Best Actor Oscar. Our only hope is for you to win the award, collect it, and then defuse the bomb."
"Wouldn't it be better for everybody if we let the bomb explode, M?"
"The SFX would be too expensive, Bond. The only way we could do it is if we blew up the Oscars for real."
"..."
"..."
"A plan with no drawbacksh."

[frajer]

"Bond, Blofeld just launched an armed satellite over the Czech Republic! Where the devil were you?!"

"Evening shift in Oddbins because you dipshits still can't figure out the budget. It's been 12 pages, mate."

[Glebe]

"Bond, Blofeld just launched an armed satellite over the Czech Republic! Where the devil were you?!"

"Evening shift in Oddbins because you dipshits still can't figure out the budget. It's been 12 pages, mate."

"Actually that reminds me... can you get me up some of that Czech beer with your store discount again?"

"Sigh. Okay M. I suppose you'll want me to pick up some dry roasted on me way home too?"

"If y'could mate. Cheers."

[Glebe]

"Pay attention Bond. These Dyson headphones will allow you to filter out Blofeld's poison gases while remaining in radio contact. You'll just look like a complete twat wearing them."

Bond gives them a go and surprises Moneypenny.

"Oh James... Dyson, what have you done you complete mentalcase?"

[Glebe]

"We're mortal enemies and yet we have so much in common, James. We both have a fierce determination to do what we feel needs to be done. We are both driven to complete the missions we set out on, at great cost. And most significantly we are both being payed £1.50 an hour to appear in this straight-to-DVD-R car boot sale dreck!"

"£1.50?! I'm only on 80p!"

[Glebe]

"Ladies and gentlemen, we are proud to present the next Bond!"

[Glebe]

"Blofeld, we meet again-"

"-Hang on man, you're not videoing us are you? I told you, just a photo! Hey wait come back!"

[famethrowa]

Austin Martin