Film cliches you want to fuck off

[col]

man wakes up in his apartment the morning after spending the night with lady, walks into kitchen to find her cooking breakfast wearing one of his shirts

[St_Eddie]

man wakes up in his apartment the morning after spending the night with lady, walks into kitchen to find her cooking breakfast wearing one of his shirts

Yeah, it's bullshit.  It's never a lady in real-life.  It's always a grizzly bear.  Leave my shirts and honey pot alone, ya grizzly bastard.

[Spiteface]

Woman gets into taxi and the driver's face is blurred.

[St_Eddie]

Woman gets into taxi and the driver's face is blurred.

That's true to life though.  The taxi driver's face is always blurred when I hop in the car, post pub.

[BlodwynPig]

man wakes up in his apartment the morning after spending the night with lady, walks into kitchen to find her cooking breakfast wearing one of his shirts

The breakfast is never eaten. At most a sip of coffee before HE dashes off on important film business. WASTEFUL.

[St_Eddie]

There's not enough films where people use the loo.  More loo scenes, please.  Ta.

Presumably, Darth Vadar had to use the loo, from time to time.  Why wasn't that scene included in the special edition?  Riddle me that!

[Phil_A]

Kid playing modern games machine (screen not visible)

Background sound effects are from atari 2600.

That reminds of the time Eastenders featured the best fake videogame of all time.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Il7gPKRhSDs

It's clearly supposed to be a two player fighting game but whenever you see the screen there's only one player character, not that Phil and Ben appear to've noticed. "Use your leg sweep!". Also the person tasked with knocking it up has cleverly no concept of what a modern (well, PS3 era) videogame actually looks like but they have a vague of memory of seeing a Shinobi arcade cabinet playing in a bowling alley when they were eight years old and they didn't actually get to play on but it looked like it might've been fun.

[St_Eddie]

That reminds of the time Eastenders featured the best fake videogame of all time.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Il7gPKRhSDs

The background and general style is clearly based upon Mortal Kombat II...

The shite depiction of videogames in Eastenders reminds me of a scene in Charlie's Angels, where a couple of kids are playing Final Fantasy VIII in two-player mode, despite the fact that the game is single player only.

[Gregory Torso]

The police find a big bag of white powder drugs in a drugsman's home, immediately start dipping their fingers in it, scooping it out and smearing it around their mouths, "yeah man this is heroin alright", one of them's making a sandwich with it.

[BlodwynPig]

There's not enough films where people use the loo.  More loo scenes, please.  Ta.

Presumably, Darth Vadar had to use the loo, from time to time.  Why wasn't that scene included in the special edition?  Riddle me that!

In my forthcoming Minotaur Reboot, I deliberately had the main baddie, Dr. Dennis Ox, shave for five minutes without a cutaway. Pre-release press has been positive "...a heady mix of fantasy and realism, peaking with the post-slaughter shaving scene".

[Ferris]

Yeah, it's bullshit.  It's never a lady in real-life.  It's always a grizzly bear.  Leave my shirts and honey pot alone, ya grizzly bastard.

And it's never one of my shirts - it's always one of my antique stovepipe hats, or a couple of pieces from my priceless monocle collection. Fucks sake.

[Dr Rock]

'Well we'll have to do x'
'We're not doing that'
'But x is a great idea'
'No it isn't'
'Let's do x'
'There is no way we're doing x'
'Have you got a better idea?
[pause]
Cut to: They are doing x.

[olliebean]

In my forthcoming Minotaur Reboot, I deliberately had the main baddie, Dr. Dennis Ox, shave for five minutes without a cutaway. Pre-release press has been positive "...a heady mix of fantasy and realism, peaking with the post-slaughter shaving scene".

Scene where a character "shaves" by using a (presumably fake) razor to scrape shaving foam off their clearly already clean shaven face.

[lipsink]

"I'm going to call the police!"

Villain: "Ha, ha, ha. I OWN THE POLICE!!!!"

[Icehaven]

"I'm going to call the police!"

Villain: "Ha, ha, ha. I OWN THE POLICE!!!!"

Or the chief of police emerges from nowhere to stand next to the villain, one of them says "Go ahead, I'm sure they'll be real helpful." then they both smirk.

[Sebastian Cobb]

Love how in dystopian scifi b-movies where there's always one big corporation running everything but they have a really uninspiring name like 'omnicorp' or 'unicorp' or even better, in the case of Futurekick and several others simply 'the corporation'.

[mothman]

Just caught a bit of Star Trek Into Darkness and spotted two in quick succession:

1. A character is hanging on for dear life to avoid falling to their death, often with just one hand (though not always, it's not an essential part of the cliche). Just as they can't hold on any longer and let go, another person's hand grabs theirs and stops the fall. This person seemingly comes out of nowhere and isn't shown approaching, or even seen approaching by the faller.

2. A flying vehicle (be it an aircraft or a spaceship) is in a death dive and the occupants are frantically trying to pull up before it crashes. The audience's POV switches to some high point to see the craft drop past out of view; there is a brief pause, then it rises up and shoots overhead. [Following its appearance in STID, it then also appeared in the follow-up, Star trek beyond]

[Ferris]

^both excellent cliches. Good points, well made,

[Twit 2]

And in number 1 they'll have the strength to lift them up too, no matter their relative sizes.

[Gulftastic]

'Don't let go!'

Sage advice, just in case it hadn't occurred to the person hanging on for dear life.

[greenman]

Just caught a bit of Star Trek Into Darkness and spotted two in quick succession:

1. A character is hanging on for dear life to avoid falling to their death, often with just one hand (though not always, it's not an essential part of the cliche). Just as they can't hold on any longer and let go, another person's hand grabs theirs and stops the fall. This person seemingly comes out of nowhere and isn't shown approaching, or even seen approaching by the faller.

2. A flying vehicle (be it an aircraft or a spaceship) is in a death dive and the occupants are frantically trying to pull up before it crashes. The audience's POV switches to some high point to see the craft drop past out of view; there is a brief pause, then it rises up and shoots overhead. [Following its appearance in STID, it then also appeared in the follow-up, Star trek beyond]

JJ Abrams is more cliché now than man.

[BlodwynPig]

And in number 1 they'll have the strength to lift them up too, no matter their relative sizes.

I think blade runner is the only film where this was believable and the superhuman replicant (Rutger) plays it well, straining and struggling to life Harrison.

[phantom_power]

Turning on the TV to see a news report that directly relates to the plot of the film

Man in bar sees news report on telly related to the plot of the film. Yells at the barman to turn the telly up. Does not get told to fuck off by the barman

[olliebean]

Films that start with a climactic moment from later in the story, and then backtrack to show the events leading up to it. Essentially what they're saying to the audience is, "Stick with us if it gets a bit dull, there's an exciting bit coming up later."

[thecuriousorange]

When the final set-piece action scene spills into a massive factory with big switched-off machines, the hero will know exactly which lever to grab to crush/kill the baddy they are struggling with. Despite having no training with the equipment and never even entering said building before in their life.

[St_Eddie]

When the final set-piece action scene spills into a massive factory with big switched-off machines, the hero will know exactly which lever to grab to crush/kill the baddy they are struggling with. Despite having no training with the equipment and never even entering said building before in their life.

Case in point; The Terminator.  Subverted in The Fly (1957) though.

[Icehaven]

Films that start with a climactic moment from later in the story, and then backtrack to show the events leading up to it. Essentially what they're saying to the audience is, "Stick with us if it gets a bit dull, there's an exciting bit coming up later."

First noticed this in American Beauty (which, bloody hell, was nearly 20 years ago, although I'm sure it was done before that too) and have seen it used countless times since. I'm never too sure what the point is (apart from your suggestion, which is certainly often the case). Sometimes it seems like the moment shown at the start, before we know what's going on in the story, is deliberately chosen as it looks like one thing, however by the time we get to the actual moment in the film it, and usually the moments immediately afterwards, show us that actually aha, it wasn't what it looked like after all, was it? So what's the big reveal there, that context matters? Well gee, that's my mind blown.

[mothman]

That's a narrative technique - though one overused in recent years - more than a cliche, surely?

[olliebean]

An overused narrative technique is a cliche.

[Bobtoo]

Turning on the TV to see a news report that directly relates to the plot of the film

I've actually experienced that. I was driving through Arbroath and saw that McDonalds was swarming with police and there was a TV van there. I tuned into Radio Scotland at exactly the moment the news report ( https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-tayside-central-35558842 ) started, just like in the movies.