Becoming a Bloody Student...

[Recurring Villain]

... well, continuing to be one of the haircutted Boosh loving fuckers but up in Lancaster instead. Compared to other Universities, I'm starting relatively late (3rd of October) and I'm rather terrified of what it might bring, ie. settling in, making friends, not running out of money.

Anyone else (apart from the 2 people I know of) jumping in the same overcrowded boat and setting sail to a life of doing the bear minimum required to earn a degree whilst stuffing your faces on pizza? Any anecdotes, stories and advice will be hugely readable.

[rjd2]

... well, continuing to be one of the haircutted Boosh loving fuckers but up in Lancaster instead. Compared to other Universities, I'm starting relatively late (3rd of October) and I'm rather terrified of what it might bring, ie. settling in, making friends, not running out of money.

Anyone else (apart from the 2 people I know of) jumping in the same overcrowded boat and setting sail to a life of doing the bear minimum required to earn a degree whilst stuffing your faces on pizza? Any anecdotes, stories and advice will be hugely readable.

Try to get a nice handy part time job. It doesn't have to be special as long as it's easy, ok and doesn't eat into your week days. Ideally work in the weekends, because in first year you won't do much those times. Working in the week when projects are due is nasty as its a tough balancing act. Thats the cash issue sorted!

I knew 0 people when I went to college so like yourself was nervous. The good news is fuck all in your class will know many people either. Assuming you aren't a cunt it should be easy to make friends with them. Some may be cunts, but most of them should be ok. Try to be as social as possible though, for the first few months at least. Those are normally the most enjoyable nights of college as you won't be stressed about college work as you would be in second or third year.

The rest of it you will know anyways, such as try not to much junk food as apart from it been unhealthy its fucking expensive when you are a student.

No raping or racism either. 

[ThickAndCreamy]

Obvious here but be aware everyone will most likely be as self conscious, frightened and lonely at first as you, or I, would imagine feeling. Especially if you've never even be on holiday without your parents before or been away for long periods of time. Treat everything as a natural, stupidity ridden progression wherein you'll learn from your mistakes but eventually come out better if you actually try, force yourself to go out at first and not be a cock.

Still, this is advise from someone going to university next year and currently jealous as fuck of all my mates who have gone and seem to enjoy it a huge amount. You might not love it obviously, but if you go in pessimistically and focus on the negatives, not the good points you're more likely to not enjoy it I imagine. Don't let pedantry or annoyance at niggling problems overcome you, my mate there already seems to be in a dream world that he can somehow make friends by not going out often as clubs can be dull. So... just don't be a bore. Staying forever in your comfort zone is a terrible attribute to acquire.

_{And yes this is all very generalised and abstract, but I have no experience of uni life, just independent life without friends and family around.}

[HAYRDRYAH]

Try to get a nice handy part time job

Easy for you, you're not at Oxford[nb]I am not at Oxford[/nb]

[imitationleather]

Nice handy part time job = Drug dealer

STANDARD

[buttgammon]

TaC offers bloody good advice above and I recommend you take it. Just don't do what I did and run off home after a few days, then become ill and want to go back but have to wait to get better because it's rubbish to be throwing up in a familiar toilet at home and coughing catarrh everywhere when you should be getting pissed with people you barely know and pretending to attend lectures.

The fact that everyone is in the same situation makes it easy to make friends and you find your way once you do that. Start off by going out with the people that live with/around you and other people will fall into your circle very, very quickly. I think I spoke to more new people and made more new friends in my first 24 hours at uni than I had at any other stage in my life and that was without making any effort other than saying 'yes' to most things that were offered, going with the flow and talking like a maniac in a variety of silly voices.

[Zetetic]

While we're doing "Don't do what I did", don't talk to literally no-one for two years outside of work. I only talked to someone after that because she emailed "Are you the boy who hardly ever turns up to lectures?". None of this is good for one's sanity.

[Retinend]

I'm from dead near Lancaster. What are you studying?

Well I'm now a second year. My experience is that the closest friends are contacts from outside your course. You just end up with bullshit smalltalk if you share so much in common with a person like a fellow course member. There's also a degree of nasty subtextual competitiveness whenever two of you talk about the subject you both study. Make sure you start off well with people in your halls as you'll be seeing them as often as you used to see your family. Get involved with societies, and invite people to come to them with you. If you see a stranger doing something interesting, talk to them about it. Most of the girls are trying their best to act more mature and adult than they are.

These people don't know you from Adam so just be confident and if you have an opportunity to say something sorta witty then take it.

I started out the year by ramping up certain parts of my personality which seemed to work well initially but were near impossible to sustain. I disagree that honesty is the best policy, and that 'being yourself' is in any way useful advice. I would say that I have a sufficient number of close uni friends now so that I can act 'naturally' without checking myself too much, but at the same time how I 'naturally' act now is far removed from myself a year ago, and this is down to experimenting with what works and what doesn't.

Be a bit mysterious on facebook.

Buy a peacoat

Use the easy first year to bone up on general knowledge. Have something to say about most subjects, but don't be pretentious. Be confident and eloquent but always play down how sure you are about your opinions. Tell people that their observations are very interesting; pick something specific (anything you like) from what they said and link it to another subject, saying that their viewpoint casts light on thoughts you've been thinking yourself.

[Sovereign]

... well, continuing to be one of the haircutted Boosh loving fuckers but up in Lancaster instead. Compared to other Universities, I'm starting relatively late (3rd of October) and I'm rather terrified of what it might bring, ie. settling in, making friends, not running out of money.

Anyone else (apart from the 2 people I know of) jumping in the same overcrowded boat and setting sail to a life of doing the bear minimum required to earn a degree whilst stuffing your faces on pizza? Any anecdotes, stories and advice will be hugely readable.

Don't do any work in your first year. Fail it and get another years worth of funding. Beats being on the dole. Only do this if you are confident you can pass if you make the effort. If you are unsure about whether you can pass even if you are trying really hard, might wanna save that extra year's worth of funding for incase you do sincerely fuck up. But if not, make sure you get your full 4 years out of UCAS.

Don't worry about not making loads of friends straight away, you won't find people you genuinely like until your 2nd or 3rd year. A lot of people get really socially anxious, worried that everyone's out having fun and getting laid whilst they're not, and so cling onto the first clique of people they can and stick with them. Don't be like that. Don't just automatically become best mates with the people you live with because you will have plenty of opportunity to meet people at uni.

Join clubs and societies, even if you aren't interested in them. You'll become interested in them sooner or later, and it's a lot more interesting doing stuff like that than sitting in your room watching DVD boxsets and taking Mkat. Getting out and about is the best thing about uni, make sure you take advantage of that because when it's gone you'll miss having these weird little societies around.

Get involved in politics. Don't care if you're not interested in it. You are an adult, and you are an educated one too, you have a responsibility to yourself and to your society to start becoming politically aware. Anyone worth your time is interested in politics, so you should be too. Run for Student Union elected office in your last year, it's usually a well paid and easy job, and will extend your uni life by 2 years if you can do it right. Like i say it's better than the real world.

Try and go abroad for a year too if the option is there. It's the best way to see a foreign country without spending thousands of your own hard earned money.

Only get a job if you aren't too bothered about failing a year. Do it in your first year when the work is easy and try to be sensible with your money. Don't spend it on beer and take aways or other studenty shite. Be sensible and it will pay off. Working is almost essential, ifyou want to live any kind of reasonable life, but it's not easy to do even 15 hours and week and then turn up on time and attentive to your lectures. if you have a really hard subject then you should try and avoid working unless you are desperate.

Use the library. Books are overpriced and underused. As soon as your lectures finish head straight to the library and get all the books you're gonna need and just keep renewing them. better to do it then than 3 days before your essay deadline. If possible, buy second hand, and even better, get them online for free by stealing.

The Personal Mitigating Circumstances form is your friend. Use it. If you are wise you can do all your work 2 weeks later than everyone else and never get penalized for it. Also, pretend you are dyslexic (just read the symptons and take the exam, but beware that the application form is part of the test too and fill that out wrong as well....) and you will get an extra hour on your exams and a free laptop, which you can then sell.

If you have the opportunity to steal a piece of unwanted furniture, and you will if you live in halls, then do it. It's fair game. Also, don't move out of halls straight away. Even though it's often costly and sometimes restrictive they're good places for parties. If you need a printer, or to borrow a book, you'll have a better chance knocking on the doors of your neighbours in halls than in the £50 a week neighbourhood you will inevitable end up living in. Besides, students are generally too socially shy and middle-class to complain about drum n bass at 4am, whereas normal people are not. It also takes away the hassle and inevitable arguments that trying to split electricity bills and such with your friends brings.

Buy a fridge for your room if you can, but don't be an arsehole about sharing food. Try and get an arrangement whereby essential food items, pasta, milk, noodles, that sort of thing, you buy in bulk collectively and share. Saves a lot of money in the long run. Me and my friends found a chinese wholesaler, the chinese macro, and we bought all our bulk food from there. When your loan comes in, don't go shopping anywhere fun. Go to the chinese macro, get a 10kg bag of rice, massive tubs of tomato ketchip and HP sauce, teabags and pasta etc and share it between you. It will save you a lot of money. Don't just go out and buy and Xbox. You need that money to live.

Don't dress or act like a student. Avoid looking like a typical student and don't make a big deal out of being a student. Although my experience has been tempered by studying in salford, those who dress like students will get robbed. Dress like yourself, even if that's like a complete twat, rather than how other students are dressing. Do make an effort to get to know the place where you are living. Try and interact with the community and not live in a student bubble. Student life gets tiresome, but real life is always daunting and much more fun. you may even end up making roots in the town and staying there happily every after.

Don't take Mkat. It's pretty popular at the moment in drug terms but seriously, it's not nice stuff. I don't give anti-drugs advice normally but I've seen people fuck up badly on it and it's all because there's a group dynamic based on alpha-male hedonism that exists at uni, and although that can be very dangerous with drugs like alcohol and ecstasy, it's really really bad with Mkat. Just trust me on this.

[Zero Gravitas]

Resist the urge to punch faces when you hear "What course are you on?" as an opening conversational gambit for the five billionth time.

[deadly lampshade]

The Personal Mitigating Circumstances form is your friend. Use it. If you are wise you can do all your work 2 weeks later than everyone else and never get penalized for it. Also, pretend you are dyslexic (just read the symptons and take the exam, but beware that the application form is part of the test too and fill that out wrong as well....) and you will get an extra hour on your exams and a free laptop, which you can then sell.

Please, please don't do this. It makes things much harder for the students who have real problems.

[Hanslow]

Don't take Mkat. It's pretty popular at the moment in drug terms but seriously, it's not nice stuff. I don't give anti-drugs advice normally but I've seen people fuck up badly on it and it's all because there's a group dynamic based on alpha-male hedonism that exists at uni, and although that can be very dangerous with drugs like alcohol and ecstasy, it's really really bad with Mkat. Just trust me on this.

Or take it, but only responsibly. Only buy the amount you intend on taking on a given night. Don't bulk buy excetra.

I've came to the conclusion uni isn't for me. My head isn't suited to forced learning and deadlines, it'll only lead me to hating the subject I picked. And the social aspect definitely doesn't appeal to me. I can't think of worse than running around nightclubs with a load of jolly school leaver's. Far too twisted and bitter.

[Lyndon]

If you don't have sex with at least five people in the first week, you are a failure.

[SetToStun]

Do Mrs. Rosy Palm and her five lovely daughters count?

[purlieu]

Even if your first year is a largely quiet, social life-free misery, by the end of your third year you have every chance of being popular, having a life and generally enjoying being where you are, despite how much of an offensive waste of time and money your course was.

Although that might just be me.

[vrailaine]

Even if your first year is a largely quiet, social life-free misery, by the end of your third year you have every chance of being popular, having a life and generally enjoying being where you are, despite how much of an offensive waste of time and money your course was.

Although that might just be me.

I seem to be the exact opposite of all that... asides from the offensive waste of time and money bit.

[vrailaine]

Don't worry about not making loads of friends straight away, you won't find people you genuinely like until your 2nd or 3rd year. A lot of people get really socially anxious, worried that everyone's out having fun and getting laid whilst they're not, and so cling onto the first clique of people they can and stick with them. Don't be like that. Don't just automatically become best mates with the people you live with because you will have plenty of opportunity to meet people at uni.

I done that and have no friends in my course at all, almost everyone seems to still go around with people who have a surname beginning with the same letter(induction groups were sorted alphabetically). On the plus side, I do actually like the few friends I do have.

Join clubs and societies, even if you aren't interested in them. You'll become interested in them sooner or later, and it's a lot more interesting doing stuff like that than sitting in your room watching DVD boxsets and taking Mkat. Getting out and about is the best thing about uni, make sure you take advantage of that because when it's gone you'll miss having these weird little societies around.

Definitely, best to stick to ones which appear more active than ones you think you might like, a lot of them gradually fall apart as the year progresses.

Use the library. Books are overpriced and underused. As soon as your lectures finish head straight to the library and get all the books you're gonna need and just keep renewing them. better to do it then than 3 days before your essay deadline. If possible, buy second hand, and even better, get them online for free by stealing.

I've yet to read a book for uni. Subjects which require loadsa them tend to have people sharing them via memory sticks and such, cheaper to print off and bind the 300 pages of a €150 book yourself than buying it

The Personal Mitigating Circumstances form is your friend. Use it. If you are wise you can do all your work 2 weeks later than everyone else and never get penalized for it. Also, pretend you are dyslexic (just read the symptons and take the exam, but beware that the application form is part of the test too and fill that out wrong as well....) and you will get an extra hour on your exams and a free laptop, which you can then sell.

This, of course, will make you a cunt.

[Little Hoover]

I'm in halls for a 2nd year which is a bit odd, but I'm wondering where all the good people are, they're ok some of them I guess, and I've only been here a few days and there seems to be a slightly better group of people this year. But last year I really didn't meet anyone I can imagine wanting to be friends with for life. And I do force myself to take part in drinking games or whatever and go to clubs sometimes, but it feels slightly pointless. It doesn't help being a few years older, but I seemed to have so little in common with anyone and the one's where I did have a few shared interests proved over time to be kind of obnoxious.

Uh but I'm sure you'll do better RV.  This post probably makes me sound like I'm far more down on my uni experince than I am.

[vrailaine]

and the one's where I did have a few shared interests proved over time to be kind of obnoxious.

Yeah, in first year, I had (for me) a crazy number of friends and people to hang out with... spent last year distancing myself from all the ones I didn't like a whole lot, still got enough to get by but it hasn't exactly filled me with confidence for meeting people in the real world.

[purlieu]

But last year I really didn't meet anyone I can imagine wanting to be friends with for life.

A lot of people don't.  You'll find most people you stay in touch with are those you choose to be friends with rather than get forced to.  Halls are great as they can give you friends and a social life immediately, but don't expect to rely on that throughout your university (and post-university) time.  I'm only in touch with two people I met through halls or my course, and one of those is only every few months.

[Lyndon]

Be really popular and funny and  handsome, have lots of sex and meet a load of great people from all over the world, but still work hard and get a First in a subject with unparalleled career options, all the while posting hilarious comment and opinion on CaB. Or maybe that's just me.

[Pie Pie Eater]

Yeah, in first year, I had (for me) a crazy number of friends and people to hang out with... spent last year distancing myself from all the ones I didn't like a whole lot, still got enough to get by but it hasn't exactly filled me with confidence for meeting people in the real world.

But I think this is kind of the best tactic. It's much easier to get rid of people you don't end up liking than meeting people who are already satisfied with their circle of friends. And you'll have more chance of breaking out of student-only circles. And you'll have more sex etc etc

[George Oscar Bluth II]

Be really popular and funny and  handsome, have lots of sex and meet a load of great people from all over the world, but still work hard and get a First in a subject with unparalleled career options, all the while posting hilarious comment and opinion on CaB. Or maybe that's just me.

I managed none of these things.

I'm off to do an MA in journalism next week, because I am a cunt. Hopefully it will lead to me getting a job as a PR shill for an evil corporation.

[Artemis]

One thing I think I took out of University was to make the most of the first few weeks when everyone is new and in exactly the same boat as you - that situation is never likely to happen again in your entire life (at least on such a scale), with everyone starting from the same place. Make the most of it by attending clubs/groups/nights out, even if you wouldn't normally do that, because that way you can meet lots of new people and hopefully find a few who are worth sticking with.

In your first seminar (or whatever they're called these days - the discussion class after the lectures), open up with people. In my experience, students tend just to sit there, almost mute. Stick your neck out and see if anyone wants a pint after the thing's over.

Essentially, being bold in the begining will potentially have great results, even though it's a bit scary to do and involves going to things that aren't really up your street. I didn't do any of this, by the way, and later found people had formed their little groups and it was much harder to penetrate them (the groups, not the people - what do you think I am, a sex-haver?)

Don't worry too much about the work in your first year. It doesn't count for anything and it's not what the first year is there for. Do the absolute minimum required to get a pass. Abandon that ethos in your second year though or you'll be struggling to come out with a 2:2. Second division, second class degrees are for people who never pulled their finger out of their arses when it actually counted and sailed through their second and half of their third years with the same attitude they had in their first, then panicked with six months to go and burnt themselves out to get a 2:2. Getting a first class degree isn't hard to do, it's just about how much effort you're willing to put in.

If you don't have to submit your work electronically, become adept in the art of plagiarism. Copy and paste from various sources, take out references to books or people you have no access to, and adjust slightly so you're rephrasing what's written. Make sure each cut and paste bit flows into the next and you'll never have to do any real work.

[Treguard of Dunshelm]

Get involved in politics. Don't care if you're not interested in it. You are an adult, and you are an educated one too, you have a responsibility to yourself and to your society to start becoming politically aware. Anyone worth your time is interested in politics, so you should be too. Run for Student Union elected office in your last year, it's usually a well paid and easy job, and will extend your uni life by 2 years if you can do it right. Like i say it's better than the real world.

get them online for free by stealing.

The Personal Mitigating Circumstances form is your friend. Use it. If you are wise you can do all your work 2 weeks later than everyone else and never get penalized for it. Also, pretend you are dyslexic (just read the symptons and take the exam, but beware that the application form is part of the test too and fill that out wrong as well....) and you will get an extra hour on your exams and a free laptop, which you can then sell.

If you have the opportunity to steal a piece of unwanted furniture, and you will if you live in halls, then do it. It's fair game.

Yeah, it's alright to be a lying, dishonest, theiving, lazy, time wasting prick that diverts resources from people that really need it to themselves as long as you're "involved in politics." That excuses everything.

I'm off on my lunch break to find someone to rape. It's okay, I voted!

Jesus fucking christ. And you call puffy a scumbag...look in the fucking mirror, pal.

[Artemis]

Lots of great advice from Sov up there ^, but ignore this:

Get involved in politics. Don't care if you're not interested in it. You are an adult, and you are an educated one too, you have a responsibility to yourself and to your society to start becoming politically aware. Anyone worth your time is interested in politics, so you should be too. Run for Student Union elected office in your last year, it's usually a well paid and easy job, and will extend your uni life by 2 years if you can do it right. Like i say it's better than the real world.

Don't get involved in politics. It doesn't mean anything really and it's full of self-important pricks who are quite elitist and get an almighty kick out of their little campaigns. It's not 'better than the real world' because the 'real world' counts for something. Anyone worth your while will not be remotely interested in any of this nonsense.

However...

Try and go abroad for a year too if the option is there. It's the best way to see a foreign country without spending thousands of your own hard earned money.

That's not quite true - it's still quite expensive, but it does mean you can enjoy tuition from abroad without paying the frightening figures other countries tend to charge for them. Keep your eye open though, because setting up a 'study abroad in your second year' thingy happens relatively early in your first year so it's not something to procrastinate about. I studied for a year in Australia and it was one of the greatest things I've ever done. You do have to sacrifice things like 'finding a friend for life in your first year' because they won't usually follow you, but in terms of experiencing the world, it's a golden opportunity.

Finally, unless things have changed, universities give out 'hardship loans' which you don't have to pay back. You can get an extra few hundred quid there if you are hard up, or pretend you are.

[Sovereign]

Don't get involved in politics. It doesn't mean anything really and it's full of self-important pricks who are quite elitist and get an almighty kick out of their little campaigns. It's not 'better than the real world' because the 'real world' counts for something. Anyone worth your while will not be remotely interested in any of this nonsense.

Utter shit!!

Course it's full of self-important pricks, but still absolutely! you have an obligation to be politically aware and have a first hand experience of what this entails, don't let this fool's bad experience put you off!

Obviously, my advice is the best, hence all the whinging!

[Sovereign]

I'm off on my lunch break to find someone to rape. It's okay, I voted!

Cool!

Stealing unwanted furniture left in student accommodation is fair game, and downloading books that would otherwise cost you hundreds of pounds for free may be the difference between passing and failing, especially if you're from a low-income background. Books are very expensive.

Fuck these boy scouts, do as I tell you! And also, it really doesn't matter that much if you get a 1st or a 3rd, good jobs come through connections, not merit.

[Lyndon]

Put that C Wright Mills down and come join us in 2010 mate.

[Sovereign]

Put that C Wright Mills down and come join us in 2010 mate.

haha! Touché