Desolation IV: The Abyssal Plains

[Satchmo Distel]

"I got this chair from Shackleton's you know."

[Ferris]

A cretin imagines a slightly more miserable world.

[Spoon of Ploff]

On the last Tuesday of every month Harry looks forward to washing his five Bags for Life.

[the midnight watch baboon]

A solicitor turns a cartwheel whilst his defendant stares out at the Coventry gloom.

[derek stitt]

Too excited to sleep at night because you are going to Cymbran in the morning.

[BlodwynPig]

The Cwmbran they always dreamed of.
The Cwmbran of the future.
The Cwmbran on the global stage.
The Cwmbran as a creative hub for the arts and literature.
The Cwmbran celebrity holiday resort.
The Cwmbran where life begins.



The Cwmbran of REVELATIONS.

https://www.cwmbranlife.co.uk/daughter-spots-her-dad-cleaning-the-windows-of-their-flat-in-a-1960s-photo-of-cwmbran/

[dex]

Stale Dundee cake.

[Twit 2]

A homeless woman's cheek peels off and flaps in the breeze until her partner punches it back into place during the evening's psychosis.

[dex]

Dawn's gunt.

[Gregory Torso]

A built grandpa butters his teeth with french mustard and puts the old gas mask on as his TV shows the first missile sputtering up into the blood-red dawn skies.

Fucking told you so, he mentally gloats to his dead wife as he gets behind the sofa.

[Gregory Torso]

During church service, a child is enticed into a cloister by a disbarred member of clergy, "fifty Jesus pence if I can see your sinners wand".

[Gregory Torso]

Jim and his wife try to spice up their love life with some manure play - really bad watery donkey kong shit - inviting an impressive medley of intestinal parasites and infections into their home.

[petril]

Ashok closes early, but returns to his shop the next morning to find the till contains 43p more

[Pingers]

A 23 year old male pulls a wheelie on a mountain bike to impress

[the midnight watch baboon]

An irate man in a duffle coat scrapes his shin off climbing a birch tree to a champagne supernova in the sky.

[Spoon of Ploff]

There's not a dry eye in the house after a packed theater watches Dan Gant's 47 hour long masterpiece 'The Birth, Life, and Death of a Puddle on the Pavement in Front of My House'

[Spoon of Ploff]

A man develops an App that will automatically convert all his racist posts into jokes about asparagus.

[PlanktonSideburns]

An adventuretime Bluetooth speaker full of slugs

[Spoon of Ploff]

Clive's spirit animal turns out to be his detested brother in law's crippled and abused homunculus. On the plus side it can fart out the Welsh national anthem on demand.

[Ferris]

Alan Yentob's salary demands.

[Gregory Torso]

A veil of bereaved moths over a resting child's face.

[Cuntbeaks]

Jim Davidson dips his shaven balls in a jar of Hoi Sin sauce and cajoles a labrador into licking them clean.







Again.

[Ferris]

An elderly John Major happy-slaps an aide.

[pancreas]

'Murder!' says Mr Blobby. 'Murder most foul!'

[the midnight watch baboon]

"Yah pop music, pop music," says a man leant against a Deal or no Deal fruity, wondering if he should play it.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

"what i like to do is get a rat and f....."

Let me stop you right there.

[Gregory Torso]

A gruff cry of "WANK!" resonates through the rooms at the Tate Modern.

[Charles Babbage]

Timmy Mallet's Bus Station Sushi Birthday Extravaganza

Curfew - 6:15pm

[Glebe]

Your girlfriend shags your best mate while you're the in shower wanking and crying.

[pancreas]

Your girlfriend shags your best mate while you're the in shower wanking and crying.

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