Desolation IV: The Abyssal Plains

[PlanktonSideburns]

Vice President Rod Petrie of the Scottish FA inadvertently discovers a new dogging site in which to rent his brother's corpse

[Glebe]

A homosexual hides down a sewer until Jim Davidson passes.

[pancreas]

FERN BRITTON

[Ferris]

No biscuits at all.

[Twit 2]

Alanis Morissette turns up in your privy to give you unsolicited tips on turds.

Cliff Richard's arse now like a wizard's sleeve says former assistant.

Gordon Buchanan fucks a two-toed sloth over the central reservation of the M42 and takes it to Hopwood services for a KFC.

[petril]

a circuit comedian decides to definitely do a bit about Ironic by Alanis Morissette

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

"Gender bender" you get to hear from a bloke all night about "gender benders" lucky you eh finding out about "gender benders" perhaps you will meet a "gender bender", they ain't natural.

[Twit 2]

A tit-fiddling weirdo gropes a granny in a glen.

[derek stitt]

Stage school kiddies smiling and dancing anywhere

[dex]

Alanis Morissette turns up to give unsolicited tips on turds.

Cliff Richard's arse now like a wizard's sleeve says former assistant.

Gordon Buchanan fucks a two-toed sloth over the central reservation of the M42 and takes it to Hopwood services for a KFC.

Almost D2D like headlines, there.

[dex]

Alistair Campbell thinks to himself "fuck it" and necks a bottle of Lambrini. Ends up chucking baked potatoes round a local Harvester and bellowing about New Labour coming home once again. Paul Ross, trying to be supportive ends up intervening and gets his bottom pinched.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

I somehow love the idea of a pissed up marauding Campbell and his failure catharsis, thank you

[Spoon of Ploff]

Robbie Savage joins the gig economy.

[Spoon of Ploff]

An old man is crushed by a falling walnut tree, grown from the walnut he planted as a boy. A knowing sqirrel laughs so hard it pisses itself.

[Dannyhood91]

Johnathan Ross smacks Paul Ross for "mispeaking" in public.

[petril]

he sparks up Windsor Blue number fourteen of the day and fires up another worn video of Fun House for the evening's entertainment. he's not watching for the twins. or Pat Sharp.

[the midnight watch baboon]

She's leaving home.

Bye, bye.




You whore.

[the midnight watch baboon]

For the benefit of Mr Kite, Babestation will have braille tonight.

[dex]

A clutch of nonces smash up your cooker with hammers and steal your Fray Bentos.

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

After 21 stange of Kölsch, Gerhard reverses his pickup truck into a freshly headless Turk.

"Hmph", he remarks later. "In the crusades no-one would have bat an eyelid."

[Ferris]

Nick Clegg's inevitable autobiography.

[dex]

https://www.sott.net/article/395985-Italys-first-sex-doll-brothel-raided-by-police-and-forced-to-shut-down-after-just-9-days

DESOLATION

[Gregory Torso]

A static caravan writhing with Haribo sour mix.

[Gregory Torso]

An abandoned mobility scooter outside a campsite at Herons Mead.

[Captain Poodle Basher]

Unbeknownst to him, George has been sold on Darknet. His ongoing campaign of one-upmanship with Melanie from Accounts has reached new levels of intensity.

[Ferris]

Donald Trump orders a steak "well-done"

[Ferris]

Tony Blair checks the bank account for his consulting firm, and laughs and laughs and laughs.

[Pingers]

Tony Blair checks the bank account for his consulting firm, blankly thinks "not enough" and gets on the phone to Al-Qaida

[Twit 2]

A dinner lady develops tit rot.

[Pingers]

David Attenborough gasses the moles that are fucking up his lawn.