Jurassic World: Dominion

[notjosh]

dinosaurs that fuck

Feels pertinent to mention that there is a T-Rex sex scene in Prehistoric Planet.

[PlanktonSideburns]

Do you recon catering teams on films are invested if the film sucks or not?

[Goldentony]

trailer for this on telly just now with no dinosaurs fucking but a dinosaur walks past a big circle like the logo so you can go AHHH SHIT JOHN LOOK

[Replies From View]

Geneuinely wondering where they go after this, a film set in a world populated with dinosaurs.

Hard reboot? Mutant dinosaurs? Space?

Solar System yeah

[Replies From View]

Feels pertinent to mention that there is a T-Rex sex scene in Prehistoric Planet.

pops its penis into a glory hole right, and the lady t-rex is trying to get into the cubicle with the penis going into it, but there's a different t-rex in there doing a poo that looks like a dinosaur bluto from popeye

in fact when you look at it all the t-rexes are kind of dinosaur versions of all the popeye characters

and then the dream ends

[Thomas]

Just seen it. Even worse than I expected. Wow. Felt like a sort of parodic, uncanny dream.

[Glebe]

Geneuinely wondering where they go after this, a film set in a world populated with dinosaurs.

Hard reboot? Mutant dinosaurs? Space?

GHOST DINOS.

[Kelvin]

I mean, they have considered human-dinosaur hybrids, apparently. Stuff about military uses for the dinosaurs. Hard to imagine how ghosts or space could be any stupider than that.

[Old Nehamkin]

What about they set it far in the future where dinosaurs have taken over the earth again but also become super intelligent and humans have gone extinct and they just do the first film in reverse.

[kalowski]

"Take your hands off me you damn dirty gallimimus!"

[jobotic]

What about Trexxes with proper arms with hands and stegasouri with actual plates and knives and forks?

[BritishHobo]

Fucking hell this was long. And seemed to have no idea what it wanted to do. It felt like somebody writing Mission Impossible/Jurassic Park crossover fanficton. Loads of mad action and then loads of flat expository dialogue that makes the JP characters feel like they've been frozen in amber. Might as well have done a post credits scene where Laura Dern's in hospital popping out a Sam Neill baby, and Jeff Goldblum shouts "Life, uh, finds a way!!!!" directly into camera.

Frenetic but somehow lifeless, A BIT LIKE THE DINOSAURS. Where's my Guardian column?

[JamesTC]

SIX HOME ALONE FILMS

The six films:

[up_the_hampipe]

This was wank with a side of shit. Even the cool sequences were too stupid to fully invest in. Some nice direction, but a terrible script, awful new characters and the core group are on autopilot for that sweet sweet cash. It had potential - if it was an hour shorter it could have been overall more fun, but it wasn't. It was just shit. Maybe it didn't have potential. I dunno, extinct franchise etc.

[Memorex MP3]

Hard reboot? Mutant dinosaurs? Space?

Either a hard reboot in 10+ years or a high budget videogame that ignores most everything asides from the first film.



Really need to rewatch Safety Not Guaranteed; Colin Trevorrow has had a bizarre career, he surely is just going to become some tv director at this stage?

[Thomas]

The film was too bad for me to list all my problems, so I'll just give special mention to the editing.

Even in a poorly written, plotted, and characterised film, proficient editing at least has the thing slither along in a competent way. Dominion is full of jarring cuts, with characters constantly switching and changing positions, like a rushed episode of a cheap soap opera. The Giganotosaurus sequence is a particular example. As the stiff animatronic plods slowly after our cast of eight or nine heroes, they repeatedly reorder and reassemble as if the scene has been chopped together from twenty undertimed takes. I believe the technical term for positioning a fuckload of characters together in one shot is blocking, and here it was evidently treated as optional.

There was only one sequence with a hint of basic potential - Bryce crawling through the forest, hiding from the blind Therizinosaurus. I thought I might enjoy Goldblum, but he was a bit too knowingly himself to actually be playing Ian Malcolm.

[ZoyzaSorris]

All of the Jurassic World films have been a load of silly trash and this was a continuation of that tradition. (Jurassic Park itself is the only genuinely worthwhile film in the whole bunch at the end of the day).  I could still get some modicum of empty time-passing enjoyment from all the loud dvisuals (though the way they animate the dinosaurs always seems curiously disjointed from the backgrounds) but basically I think it's for kids - my kid loved it, as did seemingly most the other youngsters in the audience. I started nodding off here and there after about the 90 minute mark and missed big chunks. Don't think I missed much mind you. I have been sleeping about 5 hours a night but that wouldn't have happened in Mavericks II.

[Replies From View]

I actually think The Lost World is quite a passable sequel.  In particular the children are substantially less annoying and awful.

In Jurassic Park why does the boy have a blood bogey smeared on his eyebrow?  So distracting.  Wipe it off.

[Avril Lavigne]

Geneuinely wondering where they go after this

Maybe they could just like, stop or something.

[Claude the Racecar Driving Rockstar Super Sleuth]

Jurassic World: Evolution - the dinosaurs are all birds now.

[bgmnts]

Cyborg dinosaurs? (Dinoborgs)

Jurassic Park prequel?

[up_the_hampipe]

I actually think The Lost World is quite a passable sequel.

It has some of the coolest sequences out of all the movies. The T-Rex parents pushing the RV over the cliff then splitting Eddie in half, the man being stalked and eaten by a pack of Compies, the Rex at the camp site, raptors in the long grass. The Rex in San Diego is a silly third act but still lots of fun.

[idunnosomename]

Must've been funny when they decided to bring a character back, then look up the actor and find hes a convicted nonce

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cameron_Thor

Wouldnt put it past them that they considered cloning Denis Nedry but then found they didnt have enough budget left for Wayne Knight along with everyone else

[Kelvin]

So come on, all of you who've seen it, give us the goss; why's it so awful? There must be some funny stuff to talk about...

[Replies From View]

I haven't seen the second Jurassic World film and as they're not on Netflix anymore I don't know when or if I will see it, and that means I'm unlikely to see the third one for ages either.

Bad planning from the hype department of Hollywood, there.  Should have stuck Jurassic World 1 and 2 on Netflix so that people can freely catch up and pay to visit the cinema for this.

Anyway, I still find it quite amazing that anyone could be given loads of budget and the Jurassic Park IP and somehow make a film that's shite.  Even if you came up with dinosaurs one by one trying to devise a board game together and squabbling themselves to death over disagreements about what the rules should be, it sounds like it'd be better than Jurassic World 3.

[Claude the Racecar Driving Rockstar Super Sleuth]

I haven't seen the second Jurassic World film and as they're not on Netflix anymore I don't know when or if I will see it, and that means I'm unlikely to see the third one for ages either.

Bad planning from the hype department of Hollywood, there.  Should have stuck Jurassic World 1 and 2 on Netflix so that people can freely catch up and pay to visit the cinema for this.

This always seems to happen. I had The Lighthouse bookmarked on Netflix, only for it to disappear just before The Northman was released. I wonder if the studios, anticipating greater interest in the older film, try to charge Netflix et al more for it. They've got it arse backwards if that's the case. As you say, they should be making it freely and easily available (bollocks am I signing up to Prime and then paying extra to rent videos) to help promote the new film.

[Replies From View]

This always seems to happen. I had The Lighthouse bookmarked on Netflix, only for it to disappear just before The Northman was released. I wonder if the studios, anticipating greater interest in the older film, try to charge Netflix et al more for it. They've got it arse backwards if that's the case. As you say, they should be making it freely and easily available (bollocks am I signing up to Prime and then paying extra to rent videos) to help promote the new film.

And I've experienced them doing this before, which is why I mentioned it.  Before Spider-Man No Way Home appeared in cinemas, all the older Spider-Man films suddenly appeared on Netflix.

I'm pretty sure that the first Jurassic World appeared on Netflix in time for Fallen Kingdom arriving in cinemas too, although I could be mistaken about that.  Regardless, it has happened many times in my experience so I assumed it was the marketing norm.

[Bad Ambassador]

https://uk.newonnetflix.info/

List of new additions to Netflix everyday, with a subpage of things that are leaving in the next month.

[13 schoolyards]

So come on, all of you who've seen it, give us the goss; why's it so awful? There must be some funny stuff to talk about...

Honestly, while it's not good, I didn't think it was markedly worse than any other sub-par Hollywood blockbuster - it was definitely a step above those disaster movies The Rock used to keep on turning up in, for example.

The story is stupid, the special effects are standard at best, and there's never a point where it threatens to become interesting, but as a kids movie built around a string of chase scenes it passes the time (and it's nice to see the original cast back and being given their own storyline).

It's a movie that promises a world where dinosaurs are constantly attacking cars and planes and occasionally eating someone in a bloodless fashion, and on that very basic level it delivers.

[Kelvin]

on that very basic level it delivers.

Well, this is very disappointing.