Desolation: The Malignant Seven

[Glebe]

A miserable shopping trip around rainy Fuckstead leaves you with two mouldy cabbages and a the remains of a sodden paper bag.

[Chicory]

Sliding in a plashet of neckbeard precum and cunting your scaphoid at a Redruth unboxing convention.

[Glebe]

An arse demands it's right to shit all over your plans.

[shoulders]

Filing down your strapon to what you consider 'a more appropriate size'.

[Glebe]

A Krankies tribute act turns out to be the actual Krankies.

[Ferris]

[shoulders]

Ideating getting a disability to earn 50% off public transport.

[shoulders]

Earworm being Paid My Dues by Anastasia as you fight cancer in a 4 year battle.

[PlanktonSideburns]

A memory stick containing your dad is removed without ejecting by an impatient Halfords employee

[PlanktonSideburns]

Why is Duke getting married as an ss officer

[PlanktonSideburns]

A Krankies tribute act turns out to be the actual Krankies.

V good

[Glebe]

V good

Thanks Planks!

[Glebe]

You can smell a boiled egg.

[Glebe]

Such rotten arses of a Friday!

[drummersaredeaf]

Crewe's first karaoke massage parlour.

[shoulders]

A piebald clothier buys your hospiced stepmum a sex shop.

[Glebe]

Andy Gray slobbers at you drunkenly.

[shoulders]

A millennium quilt of FHM cleavages keeping a basket of severed tongues cool

[shoulders]

You try to put your hands up for Detroit then remember you lost them trying to fish issue #406 of Deluxe Bestialetes out of a car crusher.

[shoulders]

Local character Dogdon beats you at chess, even though for anthropological reasons he has to move the pieces with his teeth.

[Glebe]

Local character Dogdon beats you at chess, even though for anthropological reasons he has to move the pieces with his teeth.

He's back!

[pancreas]

At an art convention your three year old avers that no, your watercolour hydrangeas are not art and this is, by which she means her sordid pants; and the art community agrees.

[Twit 2]

A memory stick containing your dad is removed without ejecting by an impatient Halfords employee

I laughed

[Ferris]

Craig from next door casually belittles your hydrangeas.

[The Bumlord]

Your recently widowed mother's pelvic floor collapses in Wilko

[Glebe]

Dry retching round the back of a Nandos.

[The Bumlord]

Collecting all your farts in a big balloon for twenty years then just forgetting about it

[Fishfinger]

The Archibishop of Canterbury closes his capital-B Bible with a soft sigh, stands, enters his slippers, opens the front door, strides, then slowly grinds a snail to terrible bits on the gravel driveway. He will be forgiven.

[dex]

A discarded novelty cowgirl hat, filled to the brim with chunder.

[Glebe]

A discarded novelty cowgirl hat, filled to the brim with chunder.

The morning after another Kardashian hen night!