I done a stupid

[MrMealDeal]

I once asked how they get the egg into the middle of a scotch egg.

[Bartholomew J Krishna]

I once asked a friend if Marvin Gaye had recorded 'What's Going On' before or after his dad (fatally) shot him.


(Turns out it was before).

[salr]

About 18 years old, struggling to make conversation with my Rheumatologist, asked him what he studied at uni.

[Icehaven]

About 18 years old, struggling to make conversation with my Rheumatologist, asked him what he studied at uni.

Bet you were a bit concerned when he replied "Travel and Tourism."

[shiftwork2]

About 18 years old, struggling to make conversation with my Rheumatologist, asked him what he studied at uni.

In many other countries this would have been a sensible question as Medicine is a postgraduate degree.  Doctors spend their formative years around a wide variety of people studying Maths or History.  Here they get funnelled in at age 17 with all the other private school kids they go on skiing holidays with and voila

[salr]

In many other countries this would have been a sensible question as Medicine is a postgraduate degree.  Doctors spend their formative years around a wide variety of people studying Maths or History.  Here they get funnelled in at age 17 with all the other private school kids they go on skiing holidays with and voila

He was an Aussie tbf.

His response was to stare at me for a couple of seconds, then say '...Medicine. I did medicine'

[DJ Bob Hoskins]

Maybe more naivety but in a CDT class at school when they had all old bits of newspaper to cover the tables I glimpsed a fragment off presumably some tabloid problem page that said "PREMATURE EJACULATION IS A SERIOUS PROBLEM" and I misunderstood what that meant and spent about a year worrying that I'd embarked on my wanking career at too young an age and that this was going to manifest itself in some kind of unknown but terrible biological complication. I finally put two and two together thanks to a joke on Only Fools and Horses at Boycie's expense.

He's a bit quick on the Trigger?

[shiftwork2]

He was an Aussie tbf.

His response was to stare at me for a couple of seconds, then say '...Medicine. I did medicine'

Ah, a vocational degree in lieu of getting an education.  Is what you could have said.

[Russ L]

I thought that "Foreign" was the name of an actual country until I was about 7-8.  That's probably a bit young for this in general, but I feel like that one was particularly stupid.

I was about 13-14 when I realised that "serpent" just meant "snake" and wasn't a type of reptile in itself.

[kngen]

When I was stuck in a quandary about transporting my 5-year-old across town but needing to stay where I was, I came up with idea of 'Uber - but for pre-teens!' It took about 10 minutes of basking in my own tech-disruption genius before the grave, grave consequences of what I'd dreamt up sank in.

[Russ L]

When I was stuck in a quandary about transporting my 5-year-old across town but needing to stay where I was, I came up with idea of 'Uber - but for pre-teens!' It took about 10 minutes of basking in my own tech-disruption genius before the grave, grave consequences of what I'd dreamt up sank in.

I've a dim memory of the Trashfuture podcast once covering a company who did actually attempt to do that.

[Icehaven]

When I was stuck in a quandary about transporting my 5-year-old across town but needing to stay where I was, I came up with idea of 'Uber - but for pre-teens!' It took about 10 minutes of basking in my own tech-disruption genius before the grave, grave consequences of what I'd dreamt up sank in.

I've a dim memory of the Trashfuture podcast once covering a company who did actually attempt to do that.

I've just read Matthew Perry's autobiog and apparently in the 70s it was perfectly acceptable to literally put a sign around a child's neck saying UNACCOMPANIED MINOR  and stick them on a long plane journey on their own. He goes on at length about how it contributed to messing him up and he wasn't even interfered with. 

[idunnosomename]

My favourite thing is the idea of the plane just carrying on intact and the passengers being like "what the FUCK was THAT"

i like the idea it continued all the way to Los Angeles, landed, and then as it was taxiing to the terminal, the pilot comes on the intercom...

"Folks... I have some bad news related to our flight. Remember that skyscraper in New York we flew through... it ultimately collapsed... and there were... many fatalities."

Oh my God. Sweet Jesus. God... bless America!

Then they all stand up and sing the Constitution.

[Toki]

First time taking money out from the bank.
ME: Can I have one hundred pounds, please?
CASHIER: How would you like that?
ME: Cash.

Just like everyone else.

[Aleister Growley]

As a nipper in the seventies, I thought TV magician David Nixon was the president of America.

I also thought Ali Bongo and Michael fish were the same man.

[Yussef Dent]

I had no concept of the phrase "on me," as in "this round's on me" until I was about 14/15 years of age. So, this led to me always being confused when the Milkybar Kid said "The Milkybars are on me" as there were no such bars physically attached to him.

[popcorn]

I didn't realise that professional football players weren't necessarily from the city for team they play for, or even the same country, until I went to university and finally began socialising with people who were interested in sport.

I assumed everyone who played for Manchester United was from Manchester. I thought that was the whole premise, to find out which town was best at football. You know, like how the World Cup finds out which country is best at football. I thought that would make sense.

I fucking hate football so fucking much.

[Icehaven]

When I was a child I thought during world wars 1 and 2 the soldiers all went home at the end of each day's fighting and then went back to the war again the next morning, like we did with school. The geographical impossibility didn't seem to occur to me because the thought that they wouldn't go home to their families for their tea every evening just wasn't in my realm of understanding. 

[Underturd]

Got to say I'm glad this thread is full of stupids that weren't only mine.

[Huxleys Babkins]

I thought that "Foreign" was the name of an actual country until I was about 7-8.  That's probably a bit young for this in general, but I feel like that one was particularly stupid.

When I was a kid, I thought the description of someone as being "in their 20s/30s/40s", etc. meant that they dressed in clothes from that decade.

As stupid as that was, I still quite like imagining the police seeking a group of flapper girls in connection with an assault outside of a nightclub.

[amateur]

Was recording a track from vinyl to a cassette and thought you had to listen to the record from the beginning to get it to the song you wanted.

[Russ L]

When I was a kid, I thought the description of someone as being "in their 20s/30s/40s", etc. meant that they dressed in clothes from that decade.

As stupid as that was, I still quite like imagining the police seeking a group of flapper girls in connection with an assault outside of a nightclub.

Let's re-enact it.  Which do you want to be?

[JesusAndYourBush]

And a David Copperfield prancing about by WTC 7.

Yes, but it's David Copperfield from "Three Of A Kind".

As a nipper in the seventies, I thought TV magician David Nixon was the president of America.

I thought Ted Heath (the jazz guy) was the Prime Minister.

[wobinidan]

I used to wonder how people survived going for 6 years without sleeping during World War 2. Because how are you meant to sleep with all the shooting and fighting and stuff?

I also believed that the USA was one big gunfight, and that as soon as you come out of the airport in America you have to duck for cover because everyone's always shooting at each other all the time.

I think both of those things are partially valid though so maybe I'm not so stupid after all.

[Gurke and Hare]

I thought Ted Heath (the jazz guy) was the Prime Minister.

Oh, I thought it was the same bloke for ages. Partially I think because he also did the yachting stuff being a band leader just seemed to fit, he was someone who did all this stuff as well as being the prime minister.

[Brian Freeze]

I took some convincing that I was older than my sister despite her birthday being in the calendar month before mine.


Also said out loud in front of witnesses
"I don't think I've ever seen a pea seed"

[badaids]

I glimpsed a fragment off presumably some tabloid problem page that said "PREMATURE EJACULATION IS A SERIOUS PROBLEM" and I misunderstood what that meant and spent about a year worrying

I had a similar issue that caused me untold angst, except it was a 1980s headline on the frontpage of The Sun:

"PAUL MCCARTNEY - WHY I'M SCARED MY VICE GIRLS MIGHT HAVE AIDS"

First of all I asked my Dad what AIDS was: "it's a new disease that they have discovered and it can't be cured and will kill us all".

I was so stunned by this that I didn't ask him what Vice Girls were but just assumed that it meant Girls generally. 

I spent years in secret worry that any female can give you AIDS including my mother and sister, and even to this day I worry overly about STDs.

[markburgle]

I was probably in my 30's before I realised that for my whole life, when blowing on hot forkfuls of food to cool them, I'd actually been blowing on my hand.

As an idiot boy I'd obviously equated the cooling sensation with the idea of cooling the food, and then it was decades of "this doesn't really work but it can't hurt either" before I actually noticed what I was doing wrong.

[Endicott]

I got the pronunciation of pseudo wrong, this was pointed out to me with much mirth during a break when we were hanging out in the physics store room when I was 16 or 17. I'd said suede-oh.

[idunnosomename]

I assumed everyone who played for Manchester United was from Manchester. I thought that was the whole premise, to find out which town was best at football. You know, like how the World Cup finds out which country is best at football. I thought that would make sense.

Well it seems reasonable to me too but even the 1880s you had people from Scotland playing for English clubs. So football was always a load of rubbish!!