apologising for your actions and behaviour

[Zero Gravitas]

I tend to think apologies are to some degree selfish, and that recompense is better for both parties.

In madhair60's case however, I see how that isn't practical.

[Oh, Nobody]

A sign of weakness. Double down on being a knobhead, I say.

[Stoneage Dinosaurs]

I do this a lot to the point that I probably should stop. Sometimes I do it not because I feel I genuinely was in the wrong but simply because it seems like the easiest way to defuse a difficult or emotionally tense situation. Trouble is if I stop doing this I may become what's commonly known as a Massive Bellend. But I suppose it's worth trying the bellend hat on for size

[McDead]

I *say* I'm sorry, but I don't mean it. Secretly, I am delighted! Tee hee! More mischief!

[Ray Travez]

Cyclist was livid, but somehow my sounding about ten times posher than he'd expected completely threw him, it was great. But yes, I expect I eventually will get stabbed.

At least there's the chance that you'll get stabbed politely.
"Awfully sorry about this, old chap"

[pancreas]

Make a practice of apologising to people for things I really do not believe deserve an apology but I know it greases 'em up, so I win (secretly).

Sorry about that.

What absolute twaddle.

[Kankurette]

(((We))) have a festival for that. Not that I don't apologise for cuntery anyway, I apologise too much if anything, but Yom Kippur is the big 'apologise to everyone ever and wipe the slate clean' one.

[Underturd]

I like the sound of that.

[lauraxsynthesis]

have you ever apologised for your actions and behaviour? i have found on many occasions my actions and behaviour were not acceptable and have found myself having to apologise for them. "i apologise for my actions and behaviour" is what i usually say. it is rare that a day goes by when i do not feel i need to apologise for my actions and behaviour.

Never seen u do it here so don't believe a word of it

[Zero Gravitas]

Expiation leading to castigation, dunce move.

[shoulders]

Expiation leading to castigation, dunce move.

Are you suggesting that by attempting to ameliorate a situation you merely exacerbate it?

[gilbertharding]

I find that if I have to apologise it's always good if I make it clear that I'm sorry if my actions or behaviours caused harm or offence - then it's up to the person I'm saying sorry to whether they were harmed or offended, and if they weren't, then I have no need to be sorry, and I still have that apology 'in the bank'.

It's even better if I immediately offer an explanation or excuse for my bad actions or behaviours. I think people are always placated by my honesty.

[SetToStun]

I've just realised something shocking: I have been to Germany several times in recent years, spending a great deal of time in the company of your actual Germans, and not once has a single one of them apologised for the conduct of their country during the war. Not once. Makes me wonder if they really are sorry after all.

[jamiefairlie]

I find that if I have to apologise it's always good if I make it clear that I'm sorry if my actions or behaviours caused harm or offence - then it's up to the person I'm saying sorry to whether they were harmed or offended, and if they weren't, then I have no need to be sorry, and I still have that apology 'in the bank'.

It's even better if I immediately offer an explanation or excuse for my bad actions or behaviours. I think people are always placated by my honesty.

An excellent summary of how not to apologize in a sincere manner.

[Underturd]

I've just realised something shocking: I have been to Germany several times in recent years, spending a great deal of time in the company of your actual Germans, and not once has a single one of them apologised for the conduct of their country during the war. Not once. Makes me wonder if they really are sorry after all.

Too busy making the trains run on time to waste it with regrets maybe.

[shoulders]

Too busy making the trains run on time to waste it with regrets maybe.

They've fucked that one up then.

https://www.dw.com/en/germany-november-train-punctuality-worst-in-years-bild/a-67618089

[Underturd]

Well shit.

[Vodkafone]

An excellent summary of how not to apologize in a sincere manner.

The apex predators of insincere apologies are to be found in Waitrose. I am not native to Waitrose but sometimes bumble in for wine or whisky. It is full of people who were brought up to say sorry if they shove someone out of the way, but were also brought up to shove people out of the way.

[dontpaintyourteeth]

The apex predators of insincere apologies are to be found in Waitrose. I am not native to Waitrose but sometimes bumble in for wine or whisky. It is full of people who were brought up to say sorry if they shove someone out of the way, but were also brought up to shove people out of the way.

You'll think I'm taking the piss now but honestly, thank Christ you've posted this because I honestly thought it was just me that experienced this in those shops. They're usually wearing red trousers as well, the people who do that stuff.

[Cloud]

Often enough, I can be a right cunt sometimes okay all the time and suck at the whole "do better next time" thing.  Just got to remember, if at first you're still a cunt, try try try again

[Vodkafone]

You'll think I'm taking the piss now but honestly, thank Christ you've posted this because I honestly thought it was just me that experienced this in those shops. They're usually wearing red trousers as well, the people who do that stuff.

It's the only place I've found outside the south west that sells Dunkertons cider, so I occasionally don a mournful expression and step within to receive my class punishment.

[Uncle TechTip]

No need to apologise, just give me fifty quid and we'll pretend it never happened.

[Noakes]

only yesterday i finally lost it with my mad neighbour who's been trying to sneak destroy our fence (she wants it down for better access to her drive.) i'm out gluing it back together at 7 in the morning, in the rain, on my birthday, and she comes out of her door all guns blazing.
I ended up using language i've never used to another human in 50 years of service, yelling at a 66 year old woman in the street, still carrying my tea in one hand while she's trying to karate kick me, screaming "i'm gonna kick you in the baaaaaalls"

not my proudest moment.

i should apologize, but i'm normally afraid of her

[imitationleather]

Just apologise. You might get to fuck her!

It's how I met my mum!

And the Ballseye Killer!

[Noakes]

i should have taken this to nextdoor.com... i like it when they call you hon.

[PlanktonSideburns]

only yesterday i finally lost it with my mad neighbour who's been trying to sneak destroy our fence (she wants it down for better access to her drive.) i'm out gluing it back together at 7 in the morning, in the rain, on my birthday, and she comes out of her door all guns blazing.
I ended up using language i've never used to another human in 50 years of service, yelling at a 66 year old woman in the street, still carrying my tea in one hand while she's trying to karate kick me, screaming "i'm gonna kick you in the baaaaaalls"

not my proudest moment.

i should apologize, but i'm normally afraid of her

Amazing. Should be happy with that

[pancreas]

BUILD THE WALL

[thenoise]

Next time you feel the need to apologise, try rewording it as thanks instead.

"Sorry I was late" becomes "thank you for waiting"

"Sorry I was a complete cunt" becomes "thank you for your support of my difficult feelings/behaviour"

"Sorry I farted" becomes "thank you for not drawing attention to my foul noises and smell" etc you get the idea.

[Galeee]

I genuinely need to apologise to someone I was a right cunt to a few years ago. Drink was involved.
It will happen when I see them next, despite them clearly trying to run away the last few times they clapped eyes on me.
This is an instance where thenoise's nice solution won't cut it.

[Jockice]

Someone trod on my foot on the tube once and I apologised to them.

I once apologised to a van driver after a near collision outside my home. The thing is that I live at the top of a one-way street, and he was not only going too fast but in the wrong direction after having ignored the no entry sign a few metres away. I'd just pulled out of my drive to go the right way and had to swerve to miss him.

Note: He didn't reply 'it's okay mate, it was actually my fault." Twat.