What to wear and how to act at a job interview

[Ronnie the Raincoat]

...a topic designed to annoy Pedro Bear.

Right, sorry to ask here, but honest to fuck, I haven't got a clue.  I've been off work for over three years due to The Mentals,  I'm now pretty much sane, and now I have two job interviews coming up.  As I haven't been interviewed since I was a mad, but buoyant, twenty two year old, not only do I have absolutely no idea how to conduct myself anymore, but I have no idea what to wear.  Or where to buy clothes.  Everything I own is charity shopped and my general attire is, "Sniff it, wear it".  How do Young Wimmen dress at interviews these days?  I can't really do the whole power suit bollocks because it looks absurd on me.  I'm less than 5ft tall with giant breasts and a face that makes the staff of Tesco reel when I sigh and show them my ID while buying fags.  But what's stylish?  Are heels okay?  How do I cover my boobs in a shirt? 

I know this sounds stupid but it's been such a long time that I feel a little like I've landed on another planet.  I almost didn't expect to be back in this world, and here I am.  I'm genuinely scared I'm going to greet them with, "Aye, hello you cunts" and then headbutt them, reeling back and apologising for my stink as I do so.

Women whores, if you know good cheap websites for interview like clothes or want to give me your style advice, please do!

[BlodwynPig]

Something floral? and just be yourself in the interview. Eye contact...blah blah, you'll be fine if you're right for the job.

[El Unicornio, mang]

Something like this



Don't fold your arms, keep an open posture, smile, retain eye contact. You'll be fine.

[Small Man Big Horse]

I read one of those irritating yahoo articles about this recently, apparently if you're interviewed by a woman you want to cover up your chest area as much as possible, whereas with men the opposite applies. Which probably comes as a shock to absolutely no one in the entire world.

[Ronnie the Raincoat]

Oh fuck no, I can't wear that!  But thank you.

I do want to retain my personality, look a bit...well, funky's not the word- it should never be the word, but you know what I mean.  I'm not a conservative person and in both these jobs, having a personality is a plus.  You need to be enthusiastic and good with people.  I am, and it's always been the reason I've gotten jobs in the past, I have an uncanny knack for getting people's history out of them in minutes, it's one of the reasons I want to be a mental health nurse.  I'm still quite young and I want to dress my age,  but I don't know how in a work environment.

[El Unicornio, mang]

This?


This?



This?

[Ronnie the Raincoat]

If I wore the last one I could swing through the window, boot them in the head, steal their chair and bomb off down the hall.  Alas, that's not that far off from why I lost my last job...

Am getting this coat- it's not too boring and not like the rest of the coats I have that make me either look like I'm fifteen or like I'm plying my wares.

http://www.boohoo.com/new-in/neve-34-length-jacket/invt/azz79676/

[El Unicornio, mang]

Yeah that looks good, I would avoid the pearl necklace though or whoever is interviewing you might get some subliminal ideas

[small_world]

I really have no worthwhile advice, I'm just here to say THREAD STEALER THREAD STEALER!!!!

I was going to start a "Help Small World Get A Job" thread... I still might...


Good luck with the interviews. Er, be yourself...

I found this... (trying to justify my post) Hope it applies.

[El Unicornio, mang]

Heh I saw that too. The way the economy is, if you've got em, flaunt em!

[Ronnie the Raincoat]

I want to minimise the risk of injury, which includes putting an eye out.  At one of my former job interviews I slammed my head on the door and walked out bleeding.  Excellent.  The next interview I had started with me falling down a flight of steps into a bin.

I'm obviously great at them. 

[Consignia]

Today's stylish high-powered businesswomen with an eco-conscience wear these modern designs:



You'll be a-shoe in.

[massive bereavement]

Go looking like this and assume this position whilst doing it. Act like you're in control.

[buntyman]

According to some bollocks I heard on the radio today, the colour that exudes confidence, professionalism and dependability is

Spoiler alert

navy blue

[close]

.
I had an interview for a job quite recently and I got the job so my advice is this: do a bit of background reading and ask a couple of insighful questions based on something about the organisation that isn't in the job spec or mentioned in the interview.  Gives the impression that you're sufficiently interested in working for them. I'd also recommend not reading a load of stuff about interview techniques. I once read through a book my flatmate had of 101 interview questions and how to answer them and ended up at the interview just waiting to jump in with a rehearsed line of jargon and sounding like a total phoney! Just have a quiet think of what sort of things you've done in previous jobs that might be relevant and keep a few examples in mind. The interviews I think I did best at were when  I was relaxed and there was a degree of sponteneity to my answers.

[Mister Six]

What sort of jobs are they?

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Unless it's something silly like nurse/policewoman/marshall the thing to do is to look at the job you'd be getting and dressing how you you think they would dress to a day at work. The job interview is an exercise in how well they think you'd fit in after all.

Actually fuck it, if you're interviewing to be a fire person (some people call them firemen but I am well right on) come in full helmety fire-retardant regalia.

[Ginyard]

Actually fuck it, if you're interviewing to be a fire person (some people call them firemen but I am well right on) come in full helmety fire-retardant regalia.

And tell them you eat a BLT sandwich and swig your thermos while you drive the engine in an emergency. That's what my cousin (who's a fireman) admitted to me, which was nice.

[Ronnie the Raincoat]

What sort of jobs are they?

One's a job at the same place my fella works.  It's quite casual there as it's on the night shift, you don't really need to interact with anyone.  The other is far more scary and specialised and would involve working with people and a lot of training, as an occupational health screening technician.  Which I would love given my medical spodness and desire to be a nurse, but which is ten times more demanding and professional, as it's in the private sector. 

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

Would you consider/have the funds for, a smart sort of suit jackety/trousers type thing? I know you're all petite and curvy (yum) but I'm sure they still cater for those peeps.

[CollaterlySisters]

Try your local Oxfam & check out the suits. They do a lot of Marks & Spencer (thanks to a scheme to get M&S customers to recycle) & you can pick up stuff very similar to the jacket you're after for a fraction of the normal price (Per Una). Plus M&S exudes that dependable quality! To personalise, go for eyecatching jewellery/bag/scarf or even top/shoes, but keep the suit/skirt fairly plain. Good luck!

Or: find out where the current employees go for lunch, & stalk them for a bit to see what they wear!

[Ronnie the Raincoat]

Would you consider/have the funds for, a smart sort of suit jackety/trousers type thing? I know you're all petite and curvy (yum) but I'm sure they still cater for those peeps.

I'm bladdy skint, since I've got one week left with the kind help of the DWP and then that's that.  But I will have a look around, I'm sure I can find something for cheap and make it look good by wearing a distractingly low cut top and a pair of hooves on my knuckles.

EDIT:  Thanks, CS! Excellent advice, especially the stalking bit...

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

That's the spirit.

I think you've made me realise job interviews are the one situation where it's better to have one straight-forward option, and therefore highly advantageous to be a man and wear a suit. We're so smug and suity.

Good luck with it!

[Treguard of Dunshelm]

I'm genuinely scared I'm going to greet them with, "Aye, hello you cunts" and then headbutt them, reeling back and apologising for my stink as I do so.

An accquaintance had an interview recently where he was asked if he was any good with computers. His response? "Am I fuck!"

[Mister Six]

One's a job at the same place my fella works.  It's quite casual there as it's on the night shift, you don't really need to interact with anyone.  The other is far more scary and specialised and would involve working with people and a lot of training, as an occupational health screening technician.  Which I would love given my medical spodness and desire to be a nurse, but which is ten times more demanding and professional, as it's in the private sector.

If you're still on Holloway Road, go up towards Morrisons - on the opposite side of the street (possibly a little further up) you'll find TRAID, a charity shop. I only went in there to drop off some clothes that the previous flat tenants had left, but they seemed to have an entire corner dedicated to suits, blouses and the like.

Since one of your jobs is pretty casual and the other presumably involves a uniform I reckon you should be all right to get away with a decent blouse and smart skirt. Women always seem to be able to wear what they want in offices anyway, while blokes are stuck with the suit/shirt combo.

Also, have a word with the local job centre (up near Archway, opposite Tescos - it's a bit of a trek so you might want to rustle up the phone number) to see if you can get a loan or grant for a suit. I know you're not signing on exactly, but it's worth a crack. Alternatively, talk to whichever office deals with disability benefits and ask them about the same. If the job centre do it then I'm guessing the rest of them offer something at least vaguely similar.

Best of luck!

[Beagle 2]

An accquaintance had an interview recently where he was asked if he was any good with computers. His response? "Am I fuck!"

My mate was asked "what makes you laugh?" in an interview and replied "other people's misfortune". He got the job. Mind you, it was at a solicitors.

[Johnny Townmouse]

The RSPCA on the Caledonian Rd can be good for work suits. Ask for Delia.

[El Unicornio, mang]

Someone on here ages ago said they went for an interview and when the interviewer said "Nice to see meet you" he replied "To meet you, nice". Didn't get the job though so probably not worth doing.

[Beagle 2]

Well, I dunno - they're gonna need a replacement on Strictly one of these days....

[Shoulders?-Stomach!]

If you're worried about what you're wearing you could deflect attention away from your unsuitable attire by bringing along a large garishly coloured puppet with an abrasive personality.

This advice also works if you're off out with Amy Winehouse at the moment.

[hpmons]

Try not to end the interview by saying:

"I know I don't come across very well...But I'd really like a job..."

I didn't get that job!