Help me decide if I should

[The F Bomb]

Sqwat is the best for shitting. Low, ultimate splay, full excavation of crap from your intestines. Whatever plans you have, change em, your guts will be much less full of crap.

No memory of this post but it's intriguing how passionately my id feels about this topic.

[thenoise]

It starts with squat toilets, before you know it you're wiping a bit of rock under your arms instead of deodorant.

[idunnosomename]

You never see any second hand toilets for sale anymore these days do you

the parrots eat them all

[Elderly Sumo Prophecy]

I like how these fancy Japanese toilets automatically heat the seat up as you approach. This is a good thing. I'm not very keen on the idea of jets of water being squirted up my hoop though. What pervert came up with that?

[PlanktonSideburns]

What perv came up with wiping it with paper till your roided and voided more like. We would be a gentler nation if we all had butt hoses and inspection shelves

The history of the British empire is of men with piles taking their humiliation and pain and shame out on people who wash their bums with water

I've done no research

[PlanktonSideburns]

Big meal half way through Saturday night piss up + arse hose = world peace

[Brian Freeze]

The history of the British empire is of men with piles taking their humiliation and pain and shame out on people who wash their bums with water

I've done no research

I've done no research either and am a bit dim but it looks like a thoroughly excellent theory to me.

[Zero Gravitas]

It opens up the option of making friends with a very short man, inviting him around for lager beer and robocop and then gigging when he has to go and use the toilet.

[Elderly Sumo Prophecy]

With regards to the water jets, are you supposed to reach down and goatse so it can really hit the target, or does one merely sit there and drench the entire buttocks/anus?

[dontpaintyourteeth]

troubled by the term "inspection shelf"

[Elderly Sumo Prophecy]

I think it's so you can check if you've got worms.

[The F Bomb]

The slogan for Andrex Washlets should be:

Wash, let's.

[Blue Jam]

Get a Happypo. Life-changing:

[Elderly Sumo Prophecy]

Sod it, I've got a pressure washer in the garage. I'll hook it up and purge my lower intestine.

[Blue Jam]

Sod it, I've got a pressure washer in the garage. I'll hook it up and purge my lower intestine.

Ever considered a home colonic irrigation business? Get the hoover set up in there and you can do liposuction too.

[Elderly Sumo Prophecy]

Hmm, you may be onto something. If I also do lip fillers I could work on two pipes simultaneously.

[Blue Jam]

You know the lips are technically a sphincter, right? EDIT: apparently not anymore. Not a true sphincter, the lips have been downgraded to pseudosphincter status.

You got a laser pen? You could do tattoo removal as well.

[Dex Sawash]

Ever considered a home colonic irrigation business? Get the hoover set up in there and you can do liposuction too.

I'll fetch the suitcase from the van











I'm I doing this correctly?

[SetToStun]

What perv came up with wiping it with paper till your roided and voided more like. We would be a gentler nation if we all had butt hoses and inspection shelves

Because the Japanese and Germans have absolutely no history of getting a wee bit batey at all? It's a good theory - a bit of a polish and I think you're there.

[Elderly Sumo Prophecy]

Apparently in Australia they sit backwards on the toilet, facing the cistern. It's something to do with the Earth's magnetic field.

[Gurke and Hare]

This cunt bought a new bog yet?