Bad wording

[Senior Baiano]

Ha ha, you're a funnyman capisco

[Jockice]

When I was a teenager my dad decided to give me some careers advice when he was pissed at a family do. However after giving it some thought I decided not to go into soliciting.

[touchingcloth]

I said "ping pong balls", not "King Kong's balls".

[Jerzy Bondov]

Years ago one summer when my nephew was about four and playing in the park dressed in his Batman costume I heard my lovely innocent mum shout across to him "COME ON, BATTY BOY! WE'RE LEAVING!"

I mean, I hope the many, many other people in the park saw that he was dressed as Batman, put two and two together and didn't assume my dear old mum was a virulent bigot partial to shouting culturally appropriated homophobic slurs at the top of her voice, at a child.

I'm sure I've seen an old panel where the Joker calls him Batty Boy. But he's a crazy baddie so he probably would say something like that.

[Underturd]

Just remembered, years ago on the school bus, the driver let us play our own tapes over the sound system, and when I realised my mix tape was about to get to a song I didn't like, I went to ask the driver to eject the tape:

"Can I have it off please?"

[Icehaven]

Many years ago when I worked in a local library I was wearing a Tshirt of an American band that weren't massively well known in the UK, and a regular customer asked me about them as he'd never heard of them. I told him a bit about them and said "they aren't that big over here really" and he replied "Well they're big on your chest", and his face immediately dropped in horror when he realised what he'd said. He didn't speak to me for about a month afterwards. 

[idunnosomename]

For an lewd comment it's rather original

[touchingcloth]

A colleague of mine picked up the phone to someone at work, and during the call turned to another colleague and said "Jack, could you just check this for me?" and the conversation then went:

Customer: "What?"
Colleague: "Sorry, I was just asking Jack something"
Customer: "Ah, I am also called Jack"
Colleague: "*Wild West accent* Well, looks we've got ourselves a Jack-off"

[McDead]

A colleague of mine picked up the phone to someone at work, and during the call turned to another colleague and said "Jack, could you just check this for me?" and the conversation then went:

Customer: "What?"
Colleague: "Sorry, I was just asking Jack something"
Customer: "Ah, I am also called Jack"
Colleague: "*Wild West accent* Well, looks we've got ourselves a Jack-off"

This is perfect

[Dex Sawash]

madhair voice- this never happened

[madhair60]

i never said that

[Video Game Fan 2000]

madhair voice - yes i did

[madhair60]

vgf voice - im a big nerd