Cricket 2023/2024: The Man With the Fucked Knee

[Thursday]

Other thread is approaching 100 pages, use this thread to discuss England's continued humiliation in India. Both in the remaining dead rubber world cup games, and the upcoming Test Series in India.

Oh and there's 3 ODI's and 5 T20's in the West Indies in December which I'm sure will generate much interest.

Apologies to everyone who had a better title planned.

[dontpaintyourteeth]

Just here to post my semi-regular comment about the england team being a dogshit band of cunts

[sevendaughters]

Has Leach shown any signs of a functioning body?

[Papa Wheelie]

Fifteen names on the register.

[iamcoop]

The test series in India might end up being even more of a battering than the last one. Should be good 👍

[shoulders]

Entering the India series with no spinner because we recalled the shit one as a one-off rather than give vital game time to any future long term prospect, and because ace going on decent Jack Leach is made of matchsticks and diarrhoea.

Horrible feeling that the England camp will continue to pick people to 'do a job' like Will Jacks who will be annihilated and "Livi" to do his sad teddy face as he gets out for 6 off 4 balls then bowls 3 overs and gets injured.

Rehan Ahmed would be walking into the lions den if we go with him. Good luck pal.

[shoulders]

Jansen getting carted here.

[jobotic]

West Indies and England not play test matches anymore then? Travelling to the Caribbean to play fucking T20s. Fuck cricket.

[shoulders]

Hate "SKY"

[MrMealDeal]

Entering the India series with no spinner because we recalled the shit one as a one-off rather than give vital game time to any future long term prospect, and because ace going on decent Jack Leach is made of matchsticks and diarrhoea.

Horrible feeling that the England camp will continue to pick people to 'do a job' like Will Jacks who will be annihilated and "Livi" to do his sad teddy face as he gets out for 6 off 4 balls then bowls 3 overs and gets injured.

Rehan Ahmed would be walking into the lions den if we go with him. Good luck pal.

Spinners should be Leach, Rehan Ahmed and Liam Dawson, who was the best player in the CC last season, but they'll probably go with some part time bantz merchant instead

[MrMealDeal]

West Indies and England not play test matches anymore then? Travelling to the Caribbean to play fucking T20s. Fuck cricket.

We had the test series in 2022, just before Bazball started. Ended up losing 1-0 on completely dead pitches.

[shoulders]

Happens every subcontinent tour, picking a batting all rounder who is nowhere near good enough to bowl and a bowling all-rounder who isn't good enough to do either.

I bet for one game they'll go in with 5 pace bowlers again.

[Satchmo Distel]

Giving Stokes and Anderson new contracts so they can get handsomely paid to hobble between treatment tables for a year seems rather generous. Not exactly trusting in the next set of lads coming through.

[sevendaughters]

at this rate they'll be picking Zafar Ansari again even though he's got a full load of casework and a holiday to the Amalfi booked

[iamcoop]

Would happily accept Australia winning the World Cup on account of how amusing it would be to see India lose the final.

[Thursday]

Not sure if them losing the final is funnier, or them losing to whoever scrapes their way to 4th on NRR in the semi final.

[MrMealDeal]

I bet for one game they'll go in with 5 pace bowlers again.

Reminds me of this game in 1993, where India picked 3 spinners and England chose Northants medium pacer Paul Taylor over Phil Tufnell

https://www.espncricinfo.com/series/england-tour-of-india-1992-93-61796/india-vs-england-1st-test-63598/full-scorecard

[shoulders]

Great bowling attack but this is becoming suspicious how suddenly completely unplayable they are.

[poo]

Benth

[mattyc]

Reminds me of this game in 1993, where India picked 3 spinners and England chose Northants medium pacer Paul Taylor over Phil Tufnell

https://www.espncricinfo.com/series/england-tour-of-india-1992-93-61796/india-vs-england-1st-test-63598/full-scorecard

Ah, but Azharuddin was allegedly mixed up in match fixing, so that match actually counts as another moral victory for England!

[Harry Badger]

Reminds me of this game in 1993, where India picked 3 spinners and England chose Northants medium pacer Paul Taylor over Phil Tufnell

https://www.espncricinfo.com/series/england-tour-of-india-1992-93-61796/india-vs-england-1st-test-63598/full-scorecard

That was the first England overseas tour I followed on TV. It was so hilariously shit apart from a big ton by Hick in the last test.

[MrMealDeal]

Matthews timed out is the most interesting thing to happen at this World Cup. Never seen it happen before. Really hope Sri Lanka stick it to Bangladesh for the poor sportsmanship, though.

[Thursday]

That's just insanely stupid, but if it helps make England finish last it's worth it.

[sevendaughters]

some cracking stuff in that scorecard. like the Indian quicks literally having a a dart with the new ball and then rested until the next one. Kapil Dev still going 2/12. lad.

[MrMealDeal]

some cracking stuff in that scorecard. like the Indian quicks literally having a a dart with the new ball and then rested until the next one. Kapil Dev still going 2/12. lad.

Graeme Hick match figures 5/28 caught my eye

[shoulders]

The umpires have effectively set a precedent that in the event of a helmet breaking in between walking out to the pitch and receiving the first delivery the batsman must face at least the first delivery with broken equipment designed to shield the head and neck.

That's what they went with.

[iamcoop]

Clowne Shoes moment from the Umps but funny it was Matthews

[shoulders]

Shakib, world class player, world class prick.

Mathews not in as big a knobhead category.



Anyway, another game and Afghanistan have followed the template reasonably well but Zadran has to kick on from here as they're losing partners.

[iamcoop]

BERSERKER MODE FUCKDŒWN

[shoulders]

Damn, you got me excited for a sec